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breast feeding Lock Rss

hi mums ,

I am trying for my second soon , but my main concern this time is to breastfeed... i feel i gave it my best shot last time round , but i feel my milk never really made it all the way. My son was always really hungry and there was nothing there for him so i switched to formula to save all the tears and frustration.

Also though a big issue for me was how much he was actually getting - i used to sit in hosp and feed for an hour all up and still didnt know if he had had enough. the modwifes told me to look at the jaw line to see his sucking motion etc , but because he was jaundice he was always sleepy and i never knew if he was feeding or just hanging on for comfort.

Has anyone got any suggestions on how to feel more relaxed with it next time and to know when you know when bub has had enough ( or i would be feedong 247 ). I really want to do it next time , as i feel like a bit of a failure for not doing it the first time.

Thanks Jess.
I can understand how you feel. It took me 3 months to get it right with my first daughter after a lot of cracked nipples etc. and a lot of pain. I was always worried if she was getting enough etc etc,
For something so natural it can certainly be hard.
I was quite worried when i feel preg again as I was worried about the feeding.
But this time it worked really well, no problems at all, I breastfed twins at the same time for almost 13 months, with no probs at all. And the only way you can really tell is if they are putting on weight at their weigh in and also being settled between feeds.

Hope fully all will go well for you, and if it dosent then it is okay to go formula, whatever is best for you and bub.

Sydney,twin boys 22/10/04+girl 26/03/02

Hi Jess
sounds like you had a similar situation as me. My daughter had jaundice too, and was really sleepy and not interested in feeding at all. At 4 days old she had to have phototherapy and the midwives said she had to have supplements of formula, to help the jaundice clear up. I also started pumping, but never really had much milk. I think the stress of feeding and pumping every 3 hours, and getting about 1 hour sleep in between didn't help. After 6 weeks I gave up, as it was just not working out, and I never new if she was getting enough. I don't really regret it, as I realise it was the best thing at the time for my own sanity. Although looking back, I think maybe if I had just stuck at it a bit longer maybe it could have improved. But now that I am pregnant again, I am really hoping that it will be different this time, and that we will get off to a better start.
Good luck to you Jess. Hopefully we will both have an easier experience second time round!!

Sue, 2yo & Due Sept

Hi Jess,

I think breastfeeding is good for bubs and to perservere but only if you are happy. Yes, there is a lot of controversy on this site about breast vs. bottle and it can make it confusing.

To tell if bubs has had enough is to see if they detach themselves. Ie, unlatch and purse their lips closed so they cant have more.

My daughter was jaundice and very sleepy (i had to wake her up for feeds) and i too was unsure a lot to begin with about breastfeeding and had a lot of frustrations. It takes 6-8weeks to establish breastfeeding, its a learning curve for both mother and baby. I persisted with b/f until 8weeks and have since not had any problems and things have settled down and we are in a godo routine. To relax, i put my feet up and turn the tv on and try to have some background noise. ie tv/music.

You are not a failure for not b/f. The most important thing is your baby is happy, healthy and growing and that YOU are happy and relaxed also. Better to have a formula fed bubs that is happy and settled and a mummy whos relaxed, then a mum breastfeeding that is stressed and upset which also makes bubs unsettled and upset.

Hope this helps and all the best. Try to get as much info as u can about breastfeeding so u know what to expect too. Good luck in TTC and hope everything goes well. It really is a personal choice!

Take Care (sorry bout the long post)

DD#1 - 3.7yrs, DD#2 -20mnths, DD#3 is here! 21.08.

Jess,
I wish you the best of luck on getting pregnant with your next bub. I applaud anyone who's willing to go through that experience more than once!! I think that if you have an open and relaxed approach to breastfeeding, then you may have more success. It is a perfectly natural thing so with a little help from your midwife on proper attatchment, you should get the hang of it.
If bub is properly attatched, then they will feed until they have had enough. Unfortunately, this time varies for pretty much everyone!!
Don't worry, be prepared to give it your best shot, but keep in mind that sometimes it just isn't right for some people, and if this is the case then that dosen't mean you are a failure as a mother!! Sometimes it's just not the right thing for some bubs. Good luck, all the best.

Sam and Hayley and bub

Jess,

I know exactly how you feel! I know that you shouldn't feel guilt about formula feeding but that's still how I feel 27 months later.

I have my second child now and I was absolutely determined to succeed with bf. Not because I think formula is a lesser food but because I felt the 'pressure' and thought if I didn't do it my child would be deprived. Don't misunderstand me, I never frown upon Mum's who use formula for whatever reason, we all love our kids no matter how we choose to feed.

My DD is now 5 months old and I'm still bf, much to my surprise. It was so hard for those first 6-8 weeks. I kept saying to myself to grit my teeth and bear it until 6 weeks and then reassess. But 6 weeks came and then I said 8 weeks and then 3 mths and so on. If I had known the first few weeks would be hell then I would have been more prepared the 1st time round.

I also HAD a BIG issue with volume but now I don't worry as much. I know how frustrating it is when you seen to be having your boobs hanging out all day and thinking if they are full or not. Now I just try and say that "only a parent can starve a baby, a baby will not let itself starve". So as long as your baby is gaining weight and happy don't worry about not knowing how much milk s/he is having. It took me quite a while to accept this and even now there are still times when I'm frustrated by this (especially when she's fussy and coming on and off the breast).

I don't really have any suggestions on how you can make it easier for yourself next time but I did mentally prepare myself for the fact that it would be a huge learning time and a tough time. Just remind yourself that while it will not be easy it will get easier and it is rewarding.

Try not to feel you failed the 1st time. It's easy for me to tell someone else but I feel this now still. And yes, for the first 6-8 weeks prepare yourself for feeding almost 24/7! smile

Mum to Aidan 20 Jan 04 and Georgia 10 Nov 05

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