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Breastfeeding Fail. Lock Rss

Glad to hear weIght is going back on.

I konw what its like I've had a similar experience, but my little man is only 8 days old and we're still in hospital (but breaking out tomorrow and going home!!).
DS got jaundice and had to go under the lights for a few days which meant he wasn't sucking properly and meant my milk doesnt want to come in very much and I've been told I'll probably never have enough to fully feed him, but I'm on motilium to help bring in more milk. Like you I've been expressing after every BF / FF top up attempt. I've got a electric one and you can hire them from various hospitals and chemists. So maybe my milk will come in later like other pp, but maybe it won't.

At the end of the day I decided that I love him more than anything and while plan A didn't work, plan B of topping up with formula is just as good. He is loved, fed and has a sain mother that manages to get a few hours sleep each night. For me love and a sain happy mum are more important than BFing him and sure I'm disappointed about my lack of milk(in fact I cried a whole lot about it) but it doesn't mean I love him any less. And it sounds like you love your baby and only want the best for her, so PLEASE try not to be so hard on yourself. Do what's right for you, get better advice from someone that listens to you and can offer you good advise, but most importantly know that your DD loves you no matter how she is fed.

Big hugs for you
First post, been registered for ages, but had to reply to this one, and it might be a long one!
IT DOES GET EASIER!

I had always just assumed I’d breastfeed, never thought it would be hard.
I have a 10 week old that I spent 10 days in hospital with from birth, trying to get the feeding right. She had tongue tie, I apparently have flattish nipples, and my milk never really came in, so we had a really bad combination. I’m still on domperidone now to help with my supply, but don’t feel any kind of letdown even now.
DD was 10lb 6oz, she was almost 2 weeks overdue so had a nice head start and was very hungry, which I couldn't keep up with. She lost almost 10% of her birth weight in 4 days and was jaundice so ended up with small top ups of formula while we were in hospital. It only took one day with her tongue tie to virtually destroy my nipples which made feeding excruciating, & it took 3 days for it to be identified and snipped, damage was already done, & it was only very slightly snipped so even now latching isn't perfect.
I transferred back to my local hospital from the city (was originally supposed to birth there anyway but had complications so went to town) as they are a very ABA minded baby friendly hospital and without them there is no way I'd still be feeding. I spent 1 week there, and then a few days when I eventually got home, expressing pretty much hourly, except at night where it was 2 hourly, and finger feeding with the help of my husband. I expressed to try to get my supply happening while giving my nipples a break to recover (they were seriously bad, apparently the worst that any of the mids i came across had seen). I was only getting the same amount expressing as you, it’s very distressing seeing that amount knowing how much more they need.
It was a nightmare, I was exhausted and mentally pretty wrecked, and honestly, the day I left hospital I went via priceline to spend nearly $300 on a pump that I was fairly sure would only get used for 2 days, which was how long I thought I’d last before I went straight to formula.
10 weeks on, I’m still feeding. Occasionally she gets a formula bottle if I've fed her and she still won't settle, and I don't have any EBM left. I do this because I would rather she had a bottle a day or every couple of days and put on weight than not put on weight. It’s worth my sanity to give her a bottle and I know at the end of the day she is getting the vast majority of her milk from me, and I never replace a breast feed with a bottle, only give it after if needed. I still use nipple shields, not for protection anymore, but it helps with the lack of protruding nipples! And she is use to it now and won't feed properly without them.
Now if I express, from one side I get 30 mls in 10 mins or so, which I know is small compared to most people but is amazing for me.
My advice would be not to look at the bottle when you are expressing, I used to watch every drop and if the drops started coming out slower I would panic, which only makes it worse. My other advice would be, it does get easier. I set myself a target originally to get to 1 month. Then when I reached that I changed it to 2 months. Now at 10 weeks, I know we aren’t a perfect combination, and that I don’t have litres upon litres of milk for her, nor does she have the mouth to get it out, but she’s putting on weight and content (even though she is still 3 hourly during the day), and I'm hoping for 6 months with the mindset that it might get a little easier when puree/solids take some of the burden off my boobs, and hopefully get to 12 months.
I never ever would have thought I'd be thinking about feeding for 12 months, honestly 1 month was a major milestone and I was going to be proud of myself for getting that far if I did.
I was lucky to have an amazing husband, parents, and mids at my local hospital, otherwise I would have lost the plot totally. Even luckier to have a close friend who happens to be an ABA counsellor who said yep, breast is best but formula is the next best thing, and as a friend, you need to do what works and keeps you sane aswell.
You are doing all the right things, and yeah, breastfeeding is best etc etc, but your mental health is also best. Be proud of yourself that you are trying. Yes, women are designed to breast feed, but it’s not always to be for whatever reason, and if you do find that you can’t keep going, you haven’t failed, you have just chosen the option that keeps you healthy for your child. You know the saying that if you are on a plane and they oxygen masks come down, you put them on yourself before you put them on your child because you are no good to them dead, same applies here. Keep going if you can, it will get better, but don’t beat yourself up about it like I did. My husband kept saying to me, there wouldn’t be a helpline for it if it was easy!
Sorry for the loooonnnggg post!
I agree with Mel about the fenugreek. I'm not sure if you have tried it at all, but I had a major dip in supply at about2 months due to reoccuring mastitis which made my supply in my right breast almost non existent. I tried feeding on this side more frequently as everyone suggested, but it just made my son unbelievably frustrated and it just wasnt helping.
I asked a friend of mine to make me up some capsules of fenugreek powder - I took 4x500mg capsules 3 times a day (enough to make my urine smell like maple syrup!) and literally after 24 hours, I noticed bubs feeding longer and longer on the side with the low supply - it's the only thing I've found that has worked for me!
Good luck with everything! You sound so persistent and you should be so proud of yourself for trying so hard to feed your bub! But as everyone else here has said, you are def NOT a failure - you are doing what's best for your child, and feeding them, whether it be breastmilk or formula, is the best thing you can do! xx
Everything that every one else has said Is great,
Im a first time mum and Im BF and been told Im a really relaxed for being a first time mum.
I know if I start stressing my supply goes down.
Try and do something for yourself like take a bath or have a cuppa and try to relax not the easiest thing to do but it really helps you bub and your supply.
My mum breast fed and I think having that helped my mother in law didn't and I get what you mean about conflicting advice.'
One thing mum has said to one of my cousins about feeding was you do what ever it takes to look after your baby if that means bottle feeding you dont to need to be jealous your doing your best thats what matters
Hope this helps anne smile
I had major issues with my first and when he was 5 days old had to switch him to formula as he wouldn't latch properly at all and lost more than 10% of his body weight, I was so upset for days and felt so guilty that i couldn't provide the basic need of food for my son, but what got me through it was knowing he was healthy and growing. Kudos to you for sticking out with the Bfeeding! I wish i had, though I also wish i knew what I now know about breastfeeding!!
This time round i had a wonderful lactation specialist who introduced me to baby led feeding, you simply strip off on your top, place bubba skin to skin (so bubba in nappy only) and let them find the boob and they latch perfect every time!! My new lil man is fully breastfed, but we had issues at the start as it was found he had a tongue tie which was bad enough to need to be cut and we had to top up his feeds with formula until he got the cut, but as he was pretty much established on the boob i'm happy to say he has not had formula for over a week and my milk supply is great now, I persisted in using an electric pump to keep up my supply during those days before the cut and honestly sometimes i struggled to get 20mls from each boob, now i'm getting 60mls+ from each, so do persist if it's what you really want to do as you will get there, i've been told it can take 40 days to get into a proper milk supply/demand routine with bubba, so don't fret too much.
I also watch TV or read a book when either expressing or BFeeding as i tend to forget about it and get more milk that way.
Good luck and remember that if it doesn't work, it is ok, bubba's health is more important, but if it does work that's fine too.







many new moms think that breastfeeding will come naturally, but back in the day girls use to learn by watching their sisters or aunts. Living in times of today it’s different and the family structure is not what it use to be and children are not exposed to breastfeeding. Some are even given the wrong information in schools. So the only way to learn this is by attending classes (anti natal preferably) or by reading. <span class="emoticon angry">angry</span>

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Hmmm... I guess the problem is a combination of things.

Stress is probably a high one. Someone mentioned in another thread about 'scales' stress. Having DD weighed every 3 days is bloody overbearing. up 50 grams, down 60, up 150grams in one day, down 20, down 40, down 30, up 60... GAHH.

Thanks for all the info- I'm going to try the fenugreek smile



Hi, What everyone has said is great!!!! It is hard as a first time mum, I remember getting told so many different things from the midwives and then I just listened to my mum and it all worked out. I am 29wks with my 3rd and still learning things about BF.

You are doing a great job!!! My babies hardly put on weight at first and it does stress you out but only weigh them 1 a week or fortnight. As long as they have plenty of wet and dirty nappies in a day you know something is going right. DD only put on 60-90gms a week. Remember they only have small tummies and each baby is different.

Keep up the great work and being persistant!!!!! smile
I totally hear you about all the conflicting advice!!! I had a similar problem with DD and she was FF by 5 weeks, as although I was trying to sort out BFing I wasn't being fully supported by the people I needed to be supported by! I was in the hospital for 5 days with DD and every midwive gave me conflicting information! I was so confused. When I got home DD never put any weight on and I started attending a day clinic to help with bfing and was told I was attaching fine. They suggested I get my GP to prescribe Domperidon (sp), but she refused as it came up with a warning or something, saying that there were side effects for bfing women??? Yes the side effect of increased milk supply, that is what I wanted!! Anyway I didn't feel comfortable going to another GP, as she was the only female I knew at the time (I was new to the area). She then told me that because DD wasn't putting any weight on that I should FF or she could get very sick. So I basically mixed fed for 2 weeks and by the end of the 5th week I had no to little milk left. I was shattered!!!

Anyway sorry for the long story.

I was the same as you with my DS, I only stayed in the hospital one night by choice and didn't ask for any bfing advice, as I was determined to do it my own way.

I have now been bfing for 8 weeks, and although I have had a fair bit of difficulty (as I got thrush on my nipples from some antibiotics) I am pleased that I have been able to BF at all!

But, saying that although I had to FF my DD (in fact FF was a massive issue as well), that even if you do end up having to FF, your bub will be fine. My DD is now 16 months and is as happy and healthy as any BF baby!

I would suggest to persevere (sp) though if you really want to keep bfing. I would recommend (if the Dr thinks it is ok) to go cold turkey on the FF and only BF, as your supply with increase very quickly, but it will be a rough few days while your DD goes a little hungry until your milk comes in enough!

Good luck!!!
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