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Sorry i just have to say this, i'm so upset and there is no one to talk to.
I had a C section for twins 12 days ago, and have been doing ok, but yesterday and today i've found i've been gettind depressed...I constantly feel like no one even seems to realise i exist anymore, everyone just wants to see the babies, talk about the babies etc... sometiems i just want to talk about other things and do other things. People constantly buy presents for the babies but sometimes i would like someone to buy me something as it was me who went through preganancy and had to have the op etc..and had a hard time. The babies don't care who buys them presents etc. I had one friend who brought me chocolate and i was just so overwhelmed that she thought of me.
I have to do everything in the house, my husband says that i've recovered, but i haven't it's only been two weeks since major surgury how can i be recovered. I still have to cook dinner etc and he sits in front of the computer for the last three days. Even he has forgotten i'm here.
Is there anyone else who has felt like this or am i on my own?

Hi Moni07

I didn't have the same situation as you. I was lucky enough to have a sister who knew that I wasn't starting to feel depressed/anxious/teary at the drop of a hat and she came over to just hear my thoughts.

Have you tried talking to the Early Childhood Nurse at your community centre or even just call Tressillian? They're not there just to help settle, but to listen to your thoughts etc. Sometimes speaking to a person outside of your immediate environment helps

My teary/anxious state didn't hit me until my 3rd week home too.

Hi Moni

Congratulations on your twins! I bet they are just lovely wink

I know what it's like when everyone wants to fuss over the babies and you wonder if they forget you. I don't really have any great advice for you, just want you to know I'm thinking of you and I know how you feel. One thing I can suggest is if you try to ring up a friend who doesn't have any kids. They are often the best people to talk to about 'other' things! One of my friends goes out all the time, and is definitely living up the single life. So I just call her and ask her what she's been up to. I'm not jealous of what she's doing so that's okay, but it gives me something else to think about for a bit.

Tell your silly husband to give me a call and I'll sort him out!! (Just joking of course...) But I've had 3 caesareans and you tell him that you are definitely NOT recovered. You need to relax a bit. I think you should get yourself something to eat and tell him you can't cook tonight, you are having a night off. Then he might work out that he needs to help you out. I was always too proud to ask my husband for help, bu after a while everything got on top of me and I realised I just had to ask him. He said he didn't help because he thought I was coping just fine. Which I think is a terrible excuse, but at least when I asked him he did actually help.

I hope you are going okay, and perhaps feeling a bit better today.

Take care,
leah smile
OOhh you poor thing i know just how u feel i had a c section on the 27-09 got home on the 29th and had my mother in law here to "help" on the 30th when all i wanted was to be with my baby my daughter and my husband and nobody did anything i had to cook clean and look after 2 kids (my 2 year old and her grandmother) and a baby and my husband after 3 days i stopped cooking for anyone but myself and my 2 year old, told my husband i was fed up and pretty much locked myself in my bedroom as my MIL had taken over the house just lounging around doing nothing, she was so slack she was asking to borrow my clothes as she didnt bring enough, telling me to take photos and get them developed for her as she doesnt have a camera and had the nerve to say how lovely it was to lie around doing nothing every day!!! So yes i know just how u feel and i feel deep sympathy for you, 5 weeks down the track i am still trying to recover from my c section and you need to start taking it easy or your recovery will take much longer too.
Goodluck, put your feet up and tell your hubby you didnt feel like making tea tonight or doing the dishes, vacuuming, or washing and if hes hungry he knows where the food is!
Yes, mums are often invisible the second they give birth. I have corrected a few people who have come around to visit. The first thing they say is How is Bubs. I say I am fine, how are you! At least they can acknowledge me first!!

I have had 2 cs and the recovery is tough for the first especially. It is major abdominal surgery. As hubby how he would go trying to manage everything without being able to use his stomach muscles!

I agree with talking to friends without kids. They have different priorities and things going on in their life that they will want to talk about.

Twins must be especially difficult as not many people can relate to the extra pressures of having 2 bubs to care for (3 if you count hubby!). Keep talking to people so you dont get too isolated. Your local child health nurse is a great resource if you feel depressed or have any signs of post natal.

Good luck with your new little girls!

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