NEWBORN AND TODDLER..HELPPPPPPPPPPP

HI MUMMIES, HOPE ALL IS WELL.

IM A PROUD MOTHER OF A 6 DAY OLD DAUGHTER GABRIELLA AND A 16 MTH OLD DAUGHTER ISABELLA.

I'M STRUGGLING BTWN THE 2, TRYING TO EQUAL ATTENTION TO BOTH, NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WAS EASIER WITH ONE SHE HAD ALL THE ATTENTION NOW I HAVE TO SHARE THIS 2 WAYS.

JUST THE THOUGHT OF STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN, GETS ME DOWN. WITH MY 16 MTH OLD IT SEEMS SO LONG AGO THAT I DID THIS, BUT ITS ONLY 16 MTHS, AND SHES FANTASTIC, SHE EATS,SLEEPS, KNOWS HER DAILY ROUTINE ETC..... WE HAVE JUST STARTED TO GET OUR LIFE BACK TO NORMAL..GOING OUT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE..I STARTD TO FEEL MORE INDEPENDENT..NOW IM STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN..AND I FEEL TRAPPED AGAIN..FEELING GUILTY CANT WAIT FOR MY SECOND TO GROW UP QUICK..AM I A BAD MUM THINKING THIS WAY, I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE..MY DAILY THOUGHT..HERE WE GO AGAIN, CANT WAIT TILL GABRIELLA IS AT LEAST 6MTHS OLD, COZ I KNOW WHAT IM UP FOR TILL THEN.

ANYONE IN THIS OR BEEN IN THIS SITUATION? HOW DO YOU OR DID YOU COPE? WHAT DID YOU DO? WILL IT GET BETTER?
PLEASE HELPPPPPP..I'M GOING CRAZY AND AT MY WITS END, FULL OF ANXIETY, VERY EMOTIONAL, PANICKY, ETC ETC.

NEED SOME ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT.

THANKS
[Edited on 18/01/2008]
[Edited on 18/01/2008]

hi
i'm a mum of 3, a 3.5yr old boy 19month old boy & 12 week old girl. my life is busy but i just do as always, a real life saver for me is that i go to playgroup 4 days a week, it is only for 2 hours a day, but when i get home i can put my toddler to bed & put a dvd on for my oldest while i feed bubs. It also gets me out the house & my pjs. Don't worry too much cause they grow up fast enough anyway i can still remember being over my pregnancy & now she is 12 weeks old. Hard to believe.Keep your chin up
cheers kirsty

I feel the same way!!! I have two daughters, one who is nearly three and a 10 week old. The last month of my pregnancy I had the same feelings. I have to do the newborn thing again, no sleep, Breastfeeding etc etc. Even after ten weeks I still have a little cry because I feel guilty about those feelings but I think they are normal. Talk to someone! Thats how I am getting though it, and the knowledge that it isn't going to last forever. Soon the kids will be playing together and paying no attention to you. Rest in the fact that you are not the only one having these feelings and have a little cry every now and again it's good for you to let the feeling out....Don't bottle them up.....Talk it out.....

Hi There

I to have a 8 week old baby and a 16 month old - talk about chaotic!! My 8 week old was born prem and to begin with it was super hard, I thought I could never get through, all the expressing, 2 hourly feeds etc.etc., however it has already started to get easier, no more expressing, longer gaps between feeding.

It is totally exhausting and totally normal to feel the way you do, it you speak to most Mum's even with one child, they will all say how hard it is to begin with. I know it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is.

To begin with I complained to everyone how hard I had it, and that my life was over. I kept complaining so much that I think it made me feel worse, so I took the attitude of "I can do this" and I'm not going to complain so much. I often think of people that are much worse off than me. I actually think this has made me feel better, but in saying that you shouldn't bottle up your feelings, because people are empathetic and understanding. It is much worse to pretend you are coping when you are not!! GET HELP IF NEEDED!!!

I make a point of going out every morning or afternoon, sometimes both. Whether it is to the park, mother's group, play group, beach, swimming lessons etc. I have days when I think this is all too hard to even go out, but I make myself.

I don't know what your support network is, but ask for help, some people may not realise what you are going through. I am also starting my 16 month at daycare for 1 day a week.

Anyway enough of my dribble

Good Luck, you are doing a great job, don't ever doubt yourself!!!

Hi Bella1109

I know how you feel i to feel that way, i have a 3 and a half yo daughter and a 4 wk old daughter. I had a g8t routine set in place wit my toddler but when bub2 came home everythin is now so different i try so desperately to divide my time between the 2 girls wheneva bub is asleep (which isnt that much cause she has colic) i spend time with my toddler, we read books play puzzle or i take her to the park which is across the rd from my place.

It's so hard trying to keep up wit the HOUSEWORK,COOKING etc.... i just dont have time to do anythin but look afta the girls and that is driving me a bit nuts cause i am a clean freak but am toooo tired to do it. Sometimes i too feel alone and paniky i don't know bout ur support network but my whole family live in another state so i rely on my otha half alot!! he goes back to work next wk so i'm feeling veri anxious.

I think it will take us a while to get back on our feet and start doin our daily routines we have to adjust to our new life but as the bub gets older it will get easier and they do grow up so fast, so my friend hang in there we will be fine, u will have good days and bad days and it is all worth it!! the important thin is to let it out dont keep it inside of u talk bout it. I find talking bout it makes me feel so much beta. CONGRATS ON UR BUB

GOODLUCK TO US smile)
[Edited on 30/01/2008]