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my partner does not help much Lock Rss

hi,

i have just had a baby and she is about over 1 mth old. i am a first time mum and not yet married but engaged. Does any one feel like their on their own trying to look after a baby. I don't work anymore and stay home to look after my daughter, my other half works all day and does help much, and gets too tired.

I don't sleep much and i'm the only one that gets up at night to feed my baby. Am i being selfish that i want a break inbetween? I dont want to be a bad mum.

I dont drive or have any friends, and can't get to a mothers group to socialise. Am i the only one that feels like this?
Hello again....
Do we know each other....?hehehe
My hubby is the same. He works long hours and swaps shifts every week (one week he's up at 2:30am the next week he starts work at 11am) I sometimes feel like I'd be just as good looking after my bub as a single mum then I would have to worry about cleaning up after him, cooking him tea etc... I have spoken to him several times about the fact that I'm looking after a bub 24 hours a day 7 days a week and he has to help more as at least he gets to leave his work at the end of each day and have a rest before going back the next day and we finally got to the point now if I need help or something done I just tell him to do it. In his words "I don't notice something needs to be done unless you tell me so just tell me" You just need to point out what YOU do all day and night (I actually typed my daily routine minute by minute out so now hubby has a hard copy to follow when I ask he to do something he can't say "I don't know how too
!!!! It is not selfish of you to want a break and it will be much better for you, bub and your relationship with your man if your happier coz you got to "get away" for it all. Maybe (if it's safe were you are) either straight after or well before bubs feed sometime close to when your man gets home, hand over bub and say I'll be back soon and walk around the block. Let your man get some 1 on 1 time with your little girl which might make him realise what you do and help him bond with her a bit more. Then maybe even if it's every other day add a block on to your walk. It's amazing what a bit of fresh air and freedom (as little as it is) will do for you. Ok I know I babble alot but I've been there and only just starting to come out of it......good luck smile
God your me!
When i was reading your post i thaught i was reading about myself.
I am a frist time mum to shelby who was born on the 24/8 and i am engaged, i dont drive and dont have many friends.
I have just been through a really bad patch and thaught i wasa going to totally loose it but things are getting back on track now which i am thankfull for because i dont want to be a bad mum either,i love my daughter and my fiance to death and want everything to be like in the movies.
If you need to chat or whatever my e-mail is:
[email protected]
Hope everything works out.
chat soon
lisa

Lisa,new mum to Shelby 24/08/05, QLD

Hi Renee,
Im just wondering if you worked something out with you're man? Im not married or engaged, but i have been with my partner 3years. We tried for a bit more than a year to get pregnant, and now that i actually have my baby, i am soo disappointed (not with my baby!) but with how different it is to what i thought it would be. I really wanted to be a mummy. But i thought my partner really wanted to be a daddy too. He works all day, then comes home and plays on the computer or watches tv or does anything other than help me look after baby, clean the house, etc. Sometimes he cooks tea, but thats about the extent of it. Even on weekends, he doesnt help. And when i ask him to, he makes me feel bad, like im not a good mum or something because i have to ask for help. It wasnt like this before baby came along. But i have thought a few times in the last couple of weeks about leaving him. You might as well say im a single mum anyway, i do almost everything! Theres rarely any time for myself! Baby isnt even a month old yet and im already not coping and soooo frustrated with him! I just dont know what to do. Sometimes i just leave her with him for a while and pop out and he calls it babysitting! You dont babysit your own kids! Its just your responsibilty to look after them!

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