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no one to help w newborn Lock Rss

hi. my baby is 9wks n I have a 7yr old. I asked my mum to stay night to help n I have/had apt in morn, so she could look after kids in morn. I changed mind n said I not go apt in morning Im goning to have a few wines w my sis instead. she promptly went to bed! my sis left hour later. I spoke to mum day b4 telling her im in tears n need sleep. she always says sh there for me, but I feel not. I need just a night to b my old self-stay up late,drink n sit in moonlight n just BE! IM So hurt she done this, n sadder that in future I cant count on her, as I don't have anyone else
Sounds like your mum actually does want to be there for you but when you REALLY need it (like for the appointment) - not just when you want to have a few wines and have a good time.


I don't want to get drunk! I want to know I have 1 night where I can relax n b 'me', not just a mum. remember who I am-besides mum. I used to love to sit in my backyard in middle of night n just breath. it helped me feel ok. I cant seem to do that w/out another pgrown up here-I need to know someone can hear the kids. that's all I was asking
I get what your saying but maybe you need to find other ways to have you time, like when your DD is sleeping. You can't EXPECT others to look after her (as nice as it might be). She's your responsibility. I get why your mum went to bed. She thought she was there to help you out with the appointment, not be your babysitter while you play.

BTW- I have an almost 5mth old and haven't had 1 night or day off yet. I don't even think I've had a full night sleep yet... wacko


this is where things can gt VERY muddled on here. I can still go to my apt. but mum decided to goto bed . regardless-she said she would help me when I needed. seems I need to cry in front of her for her to realise im struggling.its taken me awhile to ask, I feel like I should be doing ok. I just wanted I night off. didn't realise that was so bad
I think it sounds like you can count on her, but you probably need to be clear about what she is helping you with. If she knew from the start that it was so you could have a night off then maybe she would have been ok with it....but she probably felt misled into the situation thinking she was helping in the morning with an appointment and then suddenly she's baby sitting so you can drink...which i also don't understand why you couldn't go to the appointment....you got your mum to go to the trouble of staying the night, why would you just cancel it?
Lets b clear-I NEVER EVER EXPECT ANYONE to look afeter my kids! they r the greatest beings in my world! I looked after my 7yr old alone since she was 1! I was just tyring to take the help I keep getting told is there. my point was-im sad my um has a habit of letting us down. my siblings told me as much, but I not believe it. she is very loving, but helps only when it suits. my gripe is-I ring in tears, say I cant cope plz help. if she says yes-its yes regardless, Ive raised a beautiful 7yr old on my own, if I can have a few hrs off one night at the last minute, does that make me bad? depression runs in my family, my thinking is-I know what it feels like=I help. n that's what I do.
I agree with PP- you need to make it clear to your mum what you need help with exactly (i.e. a night off for yourself - no it's not a horrible thing) so that she doesn't feel taken advantage of (which I would have if I were in her position tonight to be honest).


Hope N Hysteria-ur right. but it was a last min decision. I drive my mum to docs apts/groc shop every week, n she often changes times when I rock up-n yes its annoyimg. so I very rarely do this to others. she tells me when I get there she doesn't need to go out! I love my mum heaps. n she loves me. im just sad she's not reliable l;ike she used to be. This is the 1ST TIME IVE ASKED HER HELP!
Maybe just plan another night and ask her if she'd be willing to watch the kids overnight. It's good you got to hang out with your sister for a while.
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