coping with the unexpected

I had my baby boy mackenzie on the 5th August 2003 and is now 9 weeks old.. I had him by a c section after being overdue and not going into labour myself.

To me this was a long drawn out process and nothing like i expected i would have.. you never really think about haveing a c section. and i remember crying in hospital because i didn't have a natural labour, and then after all of that had a lot of problems breastfeeding and eventually had to put my little boy onto the bottle..

The whole ordeal was pretty upsetting and even though in the end i got the same result i can't help these feelings..

I love my little boy to bits and wouldn't change anything for the world now but i would still like to know if there is anybody out there that had similar experiences or feeling and would like to talk would be great..

hope to talk soon

Hi Mel,
Unlike you I was able to have my two naturally but it was an ordeal too. I spent my first pregnancy expecting to have a c-section (family history of birthing probs) but decided to try for a natural birth regardless. I had to be induced 2 wks early & it still took 19hrs. I had an epidural but had to let it wear off before I was able to push effectively. My baby was born on the last set of pushes as the Dr had warned that if I wasn't successful that time it'd be an emergency c-section for me & after all I'd been through I wasn't allowing that to happen. He said if she was another gram heavier, there was no way I'd have done it. She was 8lb 9oz (3.88Kg) & she took over 2 1/2 hrs of pushing to get out as she couldn't get over the 's' bend in my pelvis. It was absolutely the most excruciating thing I'd ever done & the pain in my crutch can't be described. I thought I'd faint from the stress & I've never sweated so much in my whole life. It took weeks before I could regulate my body temperature & stop the sweating.
My second was just as troublesome as she got wedged & it took 5 people to help me deliver her. When she was born it was over 1/2 hr before we were able to see her as she'd stopped breathing & the birth was so traumatic that she spent 4 days in intensive care. She was 10lb 11 1/2oz (4.86Kg) but amazingly I didn't get the painful crutch. It also took only 1/2 hr to push her out so I didn't really work up a sweat at all. Again I was induced (13hrs)& had her a day late.
The only thing I can truly appreciate from the birthing experience is that I got 2 beautiful little girls for my trouble. My sister-in-law had 2 c-sections & both were emergencies. At the end of the day after she'd seen and heard my stories & I'd seen and heard hers, neither of us wanted to trade places. A friend of mine had her second last week & wanted to try for a natural birth after an emergency c-section with her first but ended up with the same situation as you. Maybe next time you can discuss the natural birth option with your Dr as it could be a possibility for you.
Don't fret as either way the process hurts and every birth is different. Enjoy your healthy, precious bundle & don't feel down.
Hope things are looking up for you.
Peta

Hi,

I have a 5 weeks old girl Lucy (my first) and am only just now starting to recover from the birth.

I had an episiotemy and 4 failed vacuum attempts then a C-Section. Basically, Lucy partly came out, got stuck and we had to pull her back in and take her out manually.

I had not read a thing about C-Sections and was completely unprepared for the pain that followed. Just getting out of bed was a task.
But the worst thing was the episiotemy. It has only healed in the last week and going to relieve myself of # 2's was the most painfull & eye watering experience I have ever had.

I have spent hours crying just out of disbelief of the pain, the labour was a piece of cake compared to this.

I also keep comparing my recovery with my two friends who already have children. They seemed to spring back to life straight away, fit back into their normal clothes and weren't stuck in their houses because they couldn't drive for 6 weeks. It seems so unfair, I am as healthy and the same body shape as them!

The reason she got stuck was that she was very big for my body (she was 9 pound 7). I am praying that my next baby is smaller as I feel as though I need to experience a vaginal birth, I feel as though I have been cheated (even though I had EVERY drug on offer to me!).

I suppose if the same thing happens next time I will be more prepared but emotionally I dont know how I will deal with it.

My email address is: thewattofamily@optusnet.com.au if you want to talk more?

Angela.

Hi Mel,
I had my son on the 17th July, by c section. I am 22 years old. I was also overdue (17 days!!!), and I was induced. After 20 hours of labour, I was given an emergency caesarean. Even though in the last hours of labour, I was screaming for a caesarean ( haha I thought he was never gonna come out!) I felt so disappointed that I had gone so long, and ended up with a caesar anyway. I then also had to give up breastfeeding, because my son was such a hungry baby, and my milk just wasn't doing anything for him. This really got me down. I thought if he didn't see me as his food, then I would just be the same to him as anyone else. I cried many tears over that, and the caesar. But it gets better. I love it when someone else is holding him, or playing with him, and all he does is watch me , smiling! He is my gorgeous little man, and although my pregnancy was a huge surprise - I wouldnt change a thing. My son is my world! Hope to talk to you Mel, we went through a lot of the same things, and our boys are very close in age! smile

hey marti,

i know how you felt hey cause or situations seem to be very similar.. i still feel a little dissappointed that i had a s section i didnt' even get close to going natural birth, mackenzie was too comfortable and nice and warm in my belly.. doctors said when they got him out he was no where near coming down my pelvis.. i only go to 3 cm dialated after being induced and 12 hours of trying to go natural.. but i still love mackenzie to bits and couldnt' imagine life without him.. maybe next time things will be different.. would be great to talk.. i think i already have you on msn, if not my add is mmelby79@hotmail.com

thanks..

hi angela..

it is difficult when you see your friends have natural births and they can spring back into there life as if nothing happened..i remember being in hospital and the lady next to me had a natural birth and she was going home the following day after birth. meanwhile i tried to go home early but there was no way they were going to let me go.. and i couldnt' wait to leave.. all thru my pregnancy i was like "yep i am going to stay in hospital as long as i can," and after all that happened i couldn't get out of there quick enough..

its hard to believe you were so close to giving birth naturally, and having her sort of come out and go back in, wow.. i never heard of that happening and didn't even know it could..

my email add is mmelby79@hotmail.com if you would like to have a chat.. good luck with everything..

Hi, I had my twins 8 years ago by emergency c section 5 weeks early. The drs gave me a few weeks notice so it didn't bother me. When I had my third child I had her naturally. I have just had my forth child after being in labor for 6 hours and being complications the dr said that he might have to do a c section and I just yelled at him to do it. I would have loved to have had my son naturally but he is hear now and is healthy and there is no problem with him or me. I healed faster with this c section then what I did with the first one.

I had a vaginal delivery after being induced due to waters broken were tinged green. 14 hours later I had a baby boy. The pain was so excruciating I wanted a ceaserian. They said it wasnt warranted. OK then give me an epidural. Whatever is best for a safe delivery should be what counts. Dont beat yourself up about having a ceaserian. Its the end result which counts. As far as breastfeeding goes if you can then great, if you cant, struggling with it will make you and baby both unhappy. Even if baby gets that first lot of colostrum that is great. One or two weeks of breast feeding is better than none. Formula fed babys still thrive and can have high IQ's and not be sickly.So look to the future and relax!

hi, after reading some of your stories about c-sections, I'm glad I didn't have one. My little girl who was born on the 4th May this year got her sweet little head stuck on my pelvis and kept twisting her head sideways. This was after having constant braxten hicks for two weeks prior and nearly 12 hrs of hard labour. When her head got stuck, the midwife kept telling me to push, I pushed with no result for nearly an hr, before they finally rung the Doc and he turned up nearly 40 mins later. He used the mighty vac four times and then her head finally come unstuck and moved. I was one more pull on the vac from being an emergency ceasar. It might've been easier, as my placenta got stuck and I lost nearly 3L of blood. I had to go to surgery to have the placenta removed and had to have 6 units of blood. I wasn't so much depressed that my labour didn't go "how I planned it", just dissappointed that I was too sick to hold Maia in the first few days and felt that I'd missed out on those precious bonding moments, but looking back now, i didn't miss out, I just had to wait a few more days.

Hey Mel.

Even though i did not have as big of an ordeal with my baby girl, as you had with your baby boy, i still felt like a failure after my labour.

My waters broke at like 12 midnight and i went to the hospital at 1am. I was in labour until like 10am when my doctor finally arrived (lazy bugger). I was soo cranky, he didn't tell me what he was doing or what was happening, but he had broken my waters (only my hind water had broken so bub hadn't been decending that whole time) and he had put on internal monitor on her (i really didn't want that, my poor darling buby) and hooked me up to a syntocinon drip (which i refused but was made to have to get my contractions going stronger) was put in me. I was dialated 6cm. I do not know why he couldn't have just broken my waters and let her come naturally, but he was being a j**k! I wanted a drug free labour. If they had let me walk around i would have been fine, but no, they had me hooked to a monitor and i was laying down the whole darn labour. (when i stood up my contraction were 2 mins apart, laying they were 10 mins apart.. if i could stand she would've been there already). Anyway he warned me contractions were strong on syntocinon and told me to have an epidural or pethadine shot but i refused. It did get bad and i tried the gas once, but it did nothing (another failure). I had Brianna out in 3 pushes (5 mins) which i was lucky for, but she had the cord wrapped around her neck and she was soo blue and limp, i was petrfied. I blamed myself for that too because i was very active in my last 2 months and my BP had shot up in those months and my fluid levels around bub had decreased. My poor baby girl. Bree entered the world at 7lb 11oz (3495g) after what i felt as a failure in labour and the cause of her pain. Then after all that, my milk dried up after a week and i couldn't breastfeed her anymore. I wanted to do the best for her and i feel i didn't.

Everything was fine with me. I had a 2nd degree tear which healed so good the doc said it looks like i never had a bub. I ate well in my pregnancy so i was back to my old weight in a week, and i had a beautiful new bub and fiancee.

Bree is a happy baby, extremely strong and healthy and advanced so i thank God everything turned out perfect. Hopefully you feel the same. It is the end result that counts smile

Good luck with all your bubs!

hey Briannasmyangel..

wow you had to go thru some stuff as well.. Its crazy the feelings we get after having a baby.. My fiance was quite shocked the other day cause we were watching a show on tv and there was a lady giving natural birth, and i just broke down and started crying.. When i was finally able to talk he got it out of me that i still hadn't gotten over the birth.. He couldn't believe it, he thought i had worked thru that and was over it now.. I dont know why I still have those feeling just finding it really hard to get over it.. All thru the pregnancy i thought i would have a vaginal birth and everything would be good, it didn't help that i had a few friends from work and my cousin all have vaginal births and sounded so easy..
If you wanna chat more my email add is mmelby79@hotmail.com and if you have msn you can add me if you like and we can chat sometime.. would be good.. our bubs are pretty close in age too..

With my first I was lucky as I had a natural birth, no drugs, and it was just overall a great birth but I had loads of trouble breatfeeding! My son wasn't interested in the breast! I had imagined the whole time I was pregnant that I was going to breastfeed and I couldn't! The midwives were all trying to help him latch on and he just wouldn't! After trying for 2 weeks I finally gave in and formula feed him! My nipples were bleeding and so so sore! I felt like I had failed and was a terrible mum as the midwives said that I had to breastfeed and that formula wasn't any good for a baby! My poor son, who is now 3, was starved and had lost over about 500gm! I ended up with postnatal depression! Ever though I loved being a mum, I felt I had fail my son and hadn't given him a good start in life, I was so depressed! This time I knew better, I wasn't going to let someone else tell me how to feed my baby! I have a 9 week old daughter and I beastfeed and formula feed her! My milk production hasn't been as good this time so I give her a bottle to feed her sometimes! I found formula isnt as bad as they made out, my son is as healthy as any breastfed baby was! I now know that things never seem to go as planned when you have children and you just have to take it as it comes as that's the joy of it! It's your unique experience and no one else's!