coping with the unexpected

hi Nadine,

I am glad to hear everything is going well for you and bub now.. i too have learnt not to listen to much to what people say as you have to do whats best for you and bub, not everyone else..

Hi Mel,
I can really relate to your feelings regarding your baby's birth. I too was overdue and gave birth at 41 weeks. I didn't want to be induced as I wanted minimal intervention for the birth. My Dr suggested being induced at 41 weeks to prevent the likelihood of a caesaer as the baby was not small. I then laboured for almost 24 hours. Although it was very painful I am so glad that I experienced labour. I ended up with an emerg c-section as the baby was distressed and the labour was not progressing. She was posterior & had lodged her head in my pelvis in such a way that she was unable to descend any further. From the very first moment I felt like such a failure. I felt robbed of a normal delivery. It was so different to what I had imagined my whole life. The first time I held my baby she was all wrapped up so I missed out on the skin on skin contact. I hated that there were a million & one people in the room at what should have been such a private moment. I too have experienced becoming upset when people on the TV are having babies. I have found that not many people can truly understand the grief that some women feel after having a c-section. My beautiful baby girl is now nearly 7 months & I know that although I am feeling a whole lot better about her birth, I am not completely over it. One thing that really helped me in the beginning was having a bath with her. I found that being close to her & having the skin to skin contact helped enormously. I am hoping that next time I can try for a normal delivery as I feel that this will do wonders for the healing process. Just remember that it is OK to feel the way that you do & that you are not alone. Best wishes!

Hi anniesmum,

thanks for your reply.. I have learnt now that its ok to have the feelings that i do get and even still do at times, i think everyone does when there pregnancy/labour/birth doesnt go the way you planned.,. Its a shock to the system to say the least.. but i did get the same outcome and hve a healthy bub which i am extremely grateful for..

thanks again..
Melissa

Hi Mel,
I started labour naturally with my daughter but from the time my waters broke (2-3 hours later), I haemorraged, baby got distressed and I ended up having an emergency c/s. My pregnancy had been so great that I hadn't even paid much attention to what if the labour didn't go well? I was going for a vaginal birth, hopefully without drugs except maybe gas. I haven't had any trouble breastfeeding but I felt quite discouraged that I wasn't able to deliver Hannah myself. My husband said to me "Go into that room (Hannah's bedroom) and then tell me you failed". The thing is, if he/she is healthy, it doesn't really matter how they came. Hubby was really helpful with that. Don't kick yourself about it. If you have another babe, you'll probably get another chance, too. Hopefully that helps.