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unhelpful dad Lock Rss

Dad just wont help do anything. how do i get him to help
[Edited on 18/05/2007]
I feel for you if you are doing everything yourself with a new baby. I don't have any family in the state and so rely fully on husband helping (or at least getting him to help me). Some suggestions/strategies that i try sometimes (they don't work all the time but can help some days).

- give him clear jobs
- teach him how to bath, clean baby, change nappies and then give him the confidence to do them himself. it can be very funny to sit back and watch him do them. He almost drowned Ben the other day as he was so focused on cleaning his bottom that he dipped Ben's head under water unnoticed for a second!! laughing about it helped although i was furious i didn't want that to be the last time he bathed him.
- taking out nappy bin and rubbish is his job, although i often remind him it needs emptying.
- cooking dinner became a nightmare for me so now husband has done a list of menu for next 7 weeks (weekdays only) of what we eat, it helps so much. although i still cook it at least i know what we are having and when we do the shopping i have everything he wants.
- do the washing when he is home and get him to hang clothes out with you.
- i now do house cleaning and vacuuming when he is home and he gets the silence message to get up and help me at least tidy the place (or he looks after son while i clean).
- by setting clear jobs for him it has helped me although i often do everything it can help a little bit (money, bills, shopping, cleaning, cooking, running house, and naturally baby care and upbringing).
- get him to help by taking baby for a walk to the shops or park so you can sleep or check emails etc at your own leisurely pace.
- take your chance on weekends for at least one hour of self care if you can't at any other time. for me a swim at Icebergs is my heaven even if only for 20mins.

After all i have said my husband doesn't have time to do much at home but at least he is earning money and that to me is a blessing not to have to do also at this stage. for that i love him dearly and also the emotional support he gives when he can.

good luck with getting him to help out.

Mum to two boys (born March 07 & December 08)

My husband refuses to change nappies (pooy nappies that is). I convinced him to change a wet one, he was so unsure about it and wouldn't let me leave the room. I had to talk him through all of it (eg: take the nappy off, wipe, put nappy on, no that's too loose).

I've just introduced part time formula as well as breastfeeding. It was DH's idea to combine BF and FF so that he could help with feeding.

He's also starting to realise when I need a break at night and he'll take our little girl and settle her to sleep before we all go to bed.

I do wish my hubby would change nappies, that would give me a chance to go out and catch up with friends and leave my daughter at home.

One thing you could try is saying that you just need to pop to the shop for a few mins and tell him you're leaving bub at home with him. Just go for 15-20mins, keep your phone on you. I doubt anything will go wrong in that time and he'll be fine.
[Edited on 31/03/2008]


Give them some time alone - go out shopping!
My hubby was the same, it's not that he didn't want to, he didn't know what to do. He had time alone with bubs, they soon pick it up just like we did.

Trust them, they love your wee one just as much as you do.
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