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  5. Husbands issue with name - am I being silly?

Husbands issue with name - am I being silly? Lock Rss

Hello everyone, I really need some other peoples opinions.

This is my second pregnancy and we have found out that we are having a little girl after having our son 3 years ago. My husband and I have been together for 11years and have always talked about calling our potential daughter Layla as it was a name we both loved.

when i was pregnant with my son, we were convinced he was a girl and I opened my mouth and said to my cousin that if it was a girl we were calling her Layla Valerie (valerie) after our grandma. Last year my cousin had a little girl and called her Lyla (she was going to call her Layla until my sister told her that i would completely freak out about it)

It upset me that she had practically used the name that we had picked but i thought at least it was not the same name. My husband on the other hand says that our name is no longer original as my cousins daughters name is only one letter different so he no longer wants to use it and is addamant that we are not calling our daughter layla anymore.

The thought of this just makes me bawl my eyes out as I have had it in my head that this is our daughters name for more than a decade. I have tried to look through baby books and be open minded but nothing even comes close to that name for me.

Am I being silly or is my husband over reacting?

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i think it is silly of your husban to act like that. it isn't the exact same name and anyway there is going to be more than one layla in the world i really don't see the big deal and wonder why people act so crazy when someone eles names their child the same as yours.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

You're not being silly. Your husband is!! It shouldn't matter that Layla sounds like Lyla. Layla is a name you've both loved for so long. Maybe he'll change his mind?

I think that his issue is not just that someone else has named their child very close to the name we were going to use but that it is a member of our family that has done it. so in his mind to name our baby a name that is so similar is silly as he thinks the name has been used now. In other circumstances I would agree with him that it would be odd to name your baby a name that is so similar to one that is already in the family. But I just cant give up on it and i dont really care, In my mind Layla is our daughters name and there is no changing that.

I have spoken to him about it a few times thinking he will change his mind but since my cousins daughter was born last year, before we were even pregnant he was adamat that the name was gone now and he hasnt changed his mind, I am still hopeful he will though.

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He's being a very dramatic male.

It's not like it's your sibling that has the same name it's your cousin, so in reality your children will be 2nd cousins - do you guys even know your own 2nd cousins?? and how often do you see the cousin who has Kyla?

It's a tough one no doubt as you both have to agree on the name so good luck.
I agree with your husband...sorry I know its not what you want to hear.

I would be p****d if a member of my family used a name (or very similar) that i had picked, and I would no longer want to use the name either. It may seem to outside people (and possibly family if they didnt know you like Layla) that you copied your cousin. I do understand your side too though, when you have loved a name for so long it would be hard to give up. If it was a friend I'd agree with you, but because its family I think its a bit different.

I always keep my potential names a secret even from family because you just never know!

How about a similar name like Kayla or Taylor...looks completely different but sounds similar.
i don't think you are being silly at all. who cares if someone in your family has a similar name. my brother and cousin both have the same name and it's no big deal. it porbably annoyed my aunt but tuff titties!! smile lol

i also disagree with CandiceL, who cares if people think you have copied your cousin, you know the truth and you don't have to justify your name choice to anyone.

i hope your husband can see that this is important to you and if not i hope you find a name that you love just as much.
I don't think you're being silly and to be honest I really don't understand how people get so upset from friends or family using same/similar names. My DP and I went through many names for DD and both decided we liked Nikita the name of my 7 year old cousin. I did check with my Auntie to make sure that didn't upset her that we we're going to use the same name and she wasn't fussed infact my little cousin thought it was so special to have the same name.
I can see both sides, but I agree with CandiceL.

If I was in this situation, I would be so mad that someone I know used a similar name that I wouldn't even want the name anymore. To me it wouldn't be about being copied as such, but it just wouldn't be the same anymore.

She wanted to call her Layla in the first place but only changed it because she spoke to your sister... Yes the name Lyla is different, but the intent to use Layla was there.
First i don't think there is anything wrong with them having similar names my kids have 2 cousins Olivia and Lydia born within 3mths of each other (lydi and Livi) its not really a problem at all and no one minds.

Secondly, this might sound like a crazy idea laugh but names like 'Layla' lend themselves to being lengthened really well- then you can use 'layla for short but her name would actually be different.
eg... Lelayla
Kalayla etc.
that is if you don't mind having a slightly more uncommon name grin
Thanks to everyone who has posted their opinions.

My family is very small and i do see my cousin frequently, she is the only one I have in the same state/country. She is 9 years younger than me and had only just turned 20 when she had her daughter so i kind of think she just didnt have any forethought with baby names. i have tried not to let it get to me too much at the time I was pretty upset but i realised that it was not the same name, so i could still use Layla. My husband is different though, just cant seem to get past it. I have tried to tell him it doesnt matter, that it sounds similar but is not the same name but he just keeps saying that we arent using it now.

My cousin has asked me if I will be using Layla and I said I wanted to and she said it wouldnt bother her at all. That annoyed me as well, but it just show the only person with the issue is my husband. All my family know I had that name so I am not worried about people saying we have copied names, if anyone says anything I am more than happy to tell them the story, I just dont know how to bring my husband around, to try and get him past it? if that is possible?

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I tend to agree a bit with your husband depending on how close you are with your cousin though. Will the kids interact much? I also think that you had the name stuck in your head for a daughter that wasnt even conceived yet so does the name still fit, does it feel right for THIS baby??
At the end of the day if you love that name and want that name have it, it will only be a pain if the kids are around each other all the time, like in the same class etc.

More importantly I love that name it is on the top of my list but i also like Lola which could be an alternative similar name for you??
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