I lost my mum to cancer 4 months ago and I’ve wanted to honour her by giving my future child her middle name. I found out yesterday that my cousin gave her new baby my mums middle name to honour her. My family are so excited my mum is being honoured by my cousin, but no one cares how I feel about it. I just wanted this one thing for me and now I can’t have it. When I told me aunt that I wasn’t very happy with this, she told me I should be happy that my mum is being honoured like that, that I never had a claim to the name so my cousin didn’t need to say anything to me about it and that I should just get over it. i feel like I’ve lost my mum again since this was the only way I could honour her and the name meant so much to me, and now it’s been taken away too. And yes, I did tell them I wanted the name, but that didn’t seem to matter to them in the slightest.
I’m more sad about what my aunt said to me, as it made me feel like I don’t matter when it comes to my feelings about my mum. It’s like I’m a small insignificant blip in her life. I barely even got to help with her funeral arrangements, I was just lucky I was the only one who knew how to use a video maker to make a tribute video. I just wanted this one thing from her for me, and now I feel like it’s going to be so insignificant when I do it because it won’t mean as much since it’s already been done.
Whenever I feel upset about my mum, some of my family tell me I need to get over it. It hurts because they don’t understand how much my mum meant to me. I miss her everyday. And now I’m heartbroken because I don’t get to remember my own mother in the way I wanted to. I’m so angry and devastated, but I’m probably going to be told I’m overreacting.