My first son was named with his fathers surname. We seperated when he was 6 months old and he has never had much to do with my son. I am in another defacto relationship and am expecting a child in 3 weeks. Even though we are engaged and will be married, this child will still have my last name, and when we get married, it can be changed.
This is going to cause problems between me and my fiance, but I think its right. You just never know what's going to happen!
My first son, is known as my maiden name (even though legally, his birth certificate has his fathers surname on it.) All of his medial records, day care, and school records are in my maiden name. (Its called 'adopting' a surname for him).
If i could go back, my son would have definatly had my maiden name from the start. Legally though, I cant change his name unless his birth father signs. I'm pretty sure, if the father goes 2 years without any contact with the child, then you can have it changed through the courts, WITHOUT his signature.
I've been through the whole custody thing with him, and it doesn't matter what last name the child has, unless you can prove he's unfit, you basically can't stop him from having visiting rights to his child.
Another thing to remember, if you are still seperated when you give birth, organise to get legal custody ASAP. You could have a "Residency Contract" signed up (you dont necessarily need solicitors for this, but its reccommended). This isn't CUSTODY, but its basically the next best thing. You can specify in it who the child will live with and what visiting rights the father will have. If you breastfeed, it may only be an hour or so, supervised with you for example.
But, when it comes down to it, you cant really stop him from seeing the child (unless there are are BIG issues). The law see's that the baby is just as much his as it is yours!! Sorry,
I'd suggest that you think seriously about it. Personally, under the curcumstances, I think you should name the baby YOUR last name.
Laneisa, QLD, 5 kids + baby Flynn 24/02/05