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My midwife is anti pain relief!:( Lock Rss

I am 28 weeks pregnant with my first child and I have recently found out that my midwife is totally against using pethadine during labour. Not only that but she is pretty anti epidurals as well, and will only let you have an epidural if it is "medically essential".
I never intended to have a drug free labour. I know there is every chance that it will go smoothly and I might be fine without strong pain relief. But it would be nice to know I at least have the option. Her opinion on pethadine is that studys have linked it to babies becoming drug addicts later in life, and that your baby will be "stoned" for 4 days after it is born. Of course that puts me off! but just about everyone I know had pethadine during childbirth and their midwives didn't seem to have such a strong opinion on it. Also with epidurals she says it is really hard to put in, and slows down the labour etc etc. I said "so what is there?" she said "massage, hot water, walking" so in other words, nothing! I'm freaking out! I was in hospital with a kidney infection 3 weeks ago, and the pain was horrendous. I can only imagine how bad childbirth will be!

Our beautiful boy arrived 16/12/09

hey smile
first things first, I can completely relate!
Demand that you get every option as it is YOUR baby and YOUR choice,
my midwife the same and was completely anti formula feed as well,
Pethidine didn't do anything for me during labor, and gas only gave the illusion of being 'high', or what I can imagine that would be like, but an epidural is the only thing that helped and I was in a HUGE amount of pain (4-5days of labor with contractions every couple minuted!), it's your baby, you're the one giving birth, not her and our girl didn't come out 'stoned', if you want to have the option of getting pain relief go for it and make sure she knows who's the one carrying the baby and giving birth to it, Midwives are there for guidance and help and to look after you and your baby's health.

My mum came with me to most of my midwife appt's as mine was what yours sounds like and they were very mean to me, she helped enforce my decisions as the midwives seemed to think that cos I was a first time mum that se could get away with doing what she did to me, but because I had my Mum there and she had a very high, authoritive yet understanding tone the midwife backed off


Just enforce that you are aware of the risks but you want to have the options, anything can happen during labor, good or bad so the option is always worth having there

Yep, it's your body and your baby so you should be the only one making the decision on what type of pain relief you use, not her!
It makes me angry to hear midwives being so opinionated like that, she does not know how much pain you are in.
I agree the epidural slows things down but if the pain is huge then demand the epidural and have someone with you that can walk out and get someone else to help you get what you need if need be.

honestly i think it might be worth looking for anouther midwife if you can get one, if you live in the waikato i can recommend an absolutely wonderful midwife who comes to your home for visits and everything. I'm planning on studying to be a midwife and last time I check they have no right to tell you what type of pain relief ect, you have during your labour there just meant to imform you about what each does and the risks. I had everything with my son and was fully imformed before hand, I wouldn't say that an epidural slows down the birth at all and mine was the best ever but pethidine has been known to slow down labour in fact they sometimes use it to stop people going into labour to early. My son was far from stoned when he was born and we had no probs with feeding ect when he was a newborn. I would go so far as to say maybe you should make a complaint about they way she is. When its your first birth you have no idea what to exspect or how you will hand the pain and should have every option available to you. Midwifes that are like this and don't imform you they are from the start realy get my back up, It's not fair its your birth and having the option of no pain relief would scare alot of women into never wanting to go through birth again. It sux! If you live in the waikato PM me please.
Thanks everyone, until now my midwife has been great, easy to talk to and pretty helpful. But yes I am very surprised at her giving me limited options. I thought it was her job to inform me and give me the choice. As for finding another midwife, I would say that will be virtually impossible now. As I am due at Christmas time I found it so hard to find one that was available when I was looking for one back in May. I am in Christchurch. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband, who will support me all the way during labour. He is stubborn and will stand his ground, and if I want an epidural, he will do all he can to help me get it!

Our beautiful boy arrived 16/12/09

I agree with the previous posts, after 14 hours and I only dilated to 3cm I had an epidural, best pain relief. I tried the bath and shower, didnt help.

Kayla was also posterior, so not doing much, another 5 hours after the epidural she was born with the help of oxytocin to dilate me.

Not trying to scare you, but I was lucky I didnt have "a" midwife, I went to the clinic so I had a different midwife each time, although I did see the same one on more than one occassion, and the midwives in the birthing unit were great. Take you mum along like a PP suggested, its hard your first labour and everyone is different.

Good luck

Like others said, it's your body, your labour and your birth - it is your choice as to what pain relief you want, whether that's a bath, a hot pack or an epidural..
SOunds like you've got a spokesperson on your side in your DH, so just make sure you both know what your options are etc..

I actually found that epidurals sped up my labours!
When I got them in I was only about 2cms dilated, after two hours of having the epidurals, I was pushing!
It relaxed me so much, and gave me such relief from all the pain and stress that it allowed my body to do what it needed to do!

Good luck - just be sure you read up on all your options and demand the option you want.
Atleast your husband is prepared to stand up for you. Are you going to a birthing centre or a hospital as birthing centres don't have alot of painrelief options and she will get her way but the hospital will mean you will get what you want and will be able to get a docter to get what you want done.
Posted by: allison*
I agree with the previous posts, after 14 hours and I only dilated to 3cm I had an epidural, best pain relief. I tried the bath and shower, didnt help.

Kayla was also posterior, so not doing much, another 5 hours after the epidural she was born with the help of oxytocin to dilate me.

Not trying to scare you, but I was lucky I didnt have "a" midwife, I went to the clinic so I had a different midwife each time, although I did see the same one on more than one occassion, and the midwives in the birthing unit were great. Take you mum along like a PP suggested, its hard your first labour and everyone is different.

Good luck


I had the same experience, only was in labor longer lol,
and epidural definitely didn't slow anything down

If your going into a hospital maybe you can let the staff there know of your wishes. I have a lovely midwife who thankfully shares my views. However even though she was my LMC when we were in the hospital other staff came in to assist and check on progress - should this be your case then you (or your partner) could always ask them for help.

Your body, your choice. Of course you could always remind her she is breaking the code of rights if she refuses you pain relief if you genuinely require it...

Love my boys M-10/05/08 J-01/12/09

oh wow I wouldn't be able to go on with using that midwife if I was in that situation. After giving birth twice and having an epidural for both of them I wouldn't be keen to give it a try with no pain relief.

Personally the pethadine didn't agree with me and neither did the gas - was a horrible feeling that I never want to have again.

The epidural was a welcome relief. And yes it does seem to take longer to push the baby out - took me 1.5hrs first time and 2.5hrs second time which resulted in a vac extraction.

However it is totally your body, your birth experience and your choice. I would be stipulating to her that this is the case and if she isn't prepared to honour your wishes then you will have to use another midwife (if possible)

Both my OBs were really pro epidurals and we discussed the effects alot during my consults.
I was going to suggest you look for another mw as well but if your due at christmas then maybe not. You could always use the clinic team at your hospital.

My mw wasn't anti pain relief but she was a firm believer in going as long as you can without pain relief and encouragement which was fine by me. I had no birthplan no ideas on what I wanted nothing.

In the end all my contractions were felt in my back which was the most unbelievable pain you can come across but you know what I dealt with it. I couldn't even use hot water bottle of wheatpack to soothe because I couldn't pinpoint exactly where it hurt. It helped that DP was with me and being my bestfriend and the only person I feel I can completely let go with I abused the fk outta him lol. But he didn't care. My mw advised me that we were going to use pethadine as my labour wasn't progressing and I was tired. Fine by me! It was meant to make me sleep and ended up bringing my contractions on faster and made my body do what it needed to do. She however wouldn't have given it to me if I was closer to giving birth as she said it can go through to the baby which it can but as I was still a few hours off having the baby it was fine. At the time my mind was telling me I wanted painrelief but I didn't actually say I want an epidural and in the long run I am glad that I didn't have any. As at the end of it I was able to get straight up and have a shower lol. I just really wanted a shower, even during pushing I was wanting one, yep I know great timing.

But just be adamant about what you want. If you need to push with her and ask the hospital mw's to aswell but it might pay to say to them that you have asked your mw but she won't help with getting one because I rememeber when I wanted pain relief they were happy to give me the gas but they had to talk to my mw about giving me anything else.I'm quite sure that the mw's at the hospital will be annoyed that you have asked and been flat out told no if it comes down to it.

Sorry for the long post too lol

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