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Little Sister there for Birth??? Lock Rss

I am in two minds about my three year old being at the birth of her new baby brother/sister. I think it would be a great 'bond' between them and think that I would sub/or consiously try to control myself so as not to scare her with my pain, however the blood??? Have also considered a water-birth to keep things semi-PG for her sake. On the other hand - I dont want it to be a hugely traumatic thing for her...perhaps she is too young...? Would love to have your opinions.
knowing how my 3 year old nephew is, i would say it would be a bit too much, even if you do try to "tone down" your reactions it will be evident that mummy is in pain and struggling and i would think it would be distressing. but it all depends on the child, some kids can handle more than others i guess. maybe you could just have someone on standby to take her out of the room if things get a bit to distressing for her.

my ds was 2y10 m when his sister was born. he was there for the birth as we had noone to look after him. i was birthing alone, with ds and the midwife until it was time to push. when they rang up the dad and told him to hurry back.

ds was completely fine. i admit i ignored him through the whole 4 hours. i was in pain and that is how i cope with it. for pushing i did moan alot. but by that time dad was back, and he gave dd a puzzle (from his sister) he is obsessed with puzzles. so missed the birth. didnt care that i was making noise etc.

BUT he is a very calm child. so not much fazes him anyway. i told him his baby sister was on the bed, he came to look at her then went of to do more of his puzzle.

I think the adult perspective on attending a birth is that its bonding, amazing etc... I think a small childs perspective is vastly different.

For me I wouldnt have my 3 year old involved, I think it would be way too much for her.
I'm planning a homebirth in July and i will have my dd there. She is 3 and i have been preparing her since i found out i was pregnant. I explain to her that mummy will make alot of noise, there will be blood and it will hurt mummy to get the baby out, but i also keep telling her that these things are ok and mummy will be fine. I also read the hello baby book to her whenever she has questions.

I do however have backup. My brother lives in our granny flat and if it all gets too much for her, she knows she can go and watch a movie with her uncle.

The homebirth australia website has some great info about siblings at birth and also has resources and beautiful inspirational stories.

All the best finding out what works for your family.



We had a planned home birth with DS2 and the plan was to have DS1 there if he wanted to be...but he had his own support person so if it got too much for him he could leave the room. He was with me while waiting for the midwife to arrive, and had to get DP to take him out of the room because he kept climbing all over me and I couldn't focus. sad When we realised things were getting really close....bearing in mind that it was moving along at a very fast clip anyway we did go and ask if he wanted to be in the room, he decided he'd rather watch tv. PMSL He had just turned 4 at the time. He did get to meet his brother within about 3 minutes of him being born, me still in the tub with DS2 still attached but I'm not sure he actually realised what had happened.

If we are blessed with more I'd quite happily be willing to do the same again, with a support person/people on hand for the boys. I think that some people really underestimate their older child(ren) when deciding whether to have them at the birth of a sibling or not. I think as long as you explain to them what is likely to happen and prep them the best you can I can't see any huge issue about having them there unless you are going to feel that uncomfortable about it.


Hi,

We are having a homebirth with this one and DS will be there as well. My mum will be here just incase he gets uncomfortable etc she can just take him away to play or watch t.v

We have prepared him as best as we can (hes just over 2 lol). I was given a lot of DVD of women giving birth which DS and I sat down to watch with a bowl of popcorn. He was completely bored by the 3rd birth lol. He wasnt scared at all and just kept pointing and saying "baby baby baby"

I think as long as everyone around you dont over react and just carry on like its normal than im sure everything will be fine.

All the best

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