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  5. Modesty During and After giving Birth - May Contain Adult Themes!

Modesty During and After giving Birth - May Contain Adult Themes! Lock Rss

Oh my! I really needed a good laugh and some of those really got me going. Not in a mean way, mind you. It's all in the telling isn't it. I had such a horror labour etc. So, no funny stories here :/

Although... 2/3 days after giving birth I was finally allowed up to have a shower. I still had a drain coming out of my stomach and a catheter so was rather difficult, but I was determined! Felt pretty yuck, as you could imagine. So, I managed the shower, barely, just as I looked up to say that I was about to pass out I see THE most gorgeous doctor and then down I go. I vaguely remember him, DH and the midwife rushing in to help me up and dry me and back into bed. A couple of months later I saw him in town and couldn't place his face, you know when u look at each other and wonder whether to say hi or not...then I realised and was mortified blink What can u do but laugh!

Here's to hoping the next one goes better!!


I had this too! Mine was a bit longer than a week though, soooo embarrassing. Once I was in Big W and did the whole fart per step thing. I couldn't get out of there quick enough and I didn't go back for aaages lmao

What a bloody corker!!!!!!!!!!!!PMSL
lol man so many embarrassing things happened to me i dunno where to start!

i farted in front of DP for the first time, we had only been dating for 4 months and he came in for the birth, i had had the epidural and had no feeling from the boobs down. it was a loud fart too sad lol

as for the stitches my pb was stitching me up 4hours i kept passing out and coming back and the first time i woke up there was 4 docs the next time the entire room was full the next time back to 4 differnt docs then she was asking someone to go get this certain type of stitch cos she ran out, im pretty sure the entire hospital staff saw my bits that day.
checks oooh the shame, not so much the stitches checks but when they check your pads and ask when the last time u changed was ooooh so wanted to crawl in a hole and die

i was asked to make some milk come out, just weird when someone is watching u milking yourself

and when i was having dd my ob was telling me to "flare your anus" when i was pushing her out which made me laugh and then she slipped back up and i had to push all over again grrr

checks oooh the shame, not so much the stitches checks but when they check your pads and ask when the last time u changed was ooooh so wanted to crawl in a hole and die

This just reminded me of when the midwives would tell me that if I passed any large clots to try to keep them on a pad and put them in this little room to be checked. I had to once and my friend was on shift *cringe* Luckily she was very professional lol. She was telling me she'd seen clots the size of dinner plates so needless to say, I didn't have to 'save' anymore to show anyone.
flare your anus ! hahaha how do you even do that ???
Some of these stories are absolute gold !!

I was in the lift in labour with my twins, going up to the labour ward and hanging on to the rails and my DH for support. I had this tremendous urge to push for some reason so I started to take my knickers off! Right there in the public lift - there was DH, myself, an oler women and her 2 teenage sons that were absolutly horrified! I just remember my DH trying to hold the lift doors open and get me out and I was NOT moving, I had my knickers off down around my ankles by this time and I remember looking up and seeing how red faced these poor teenage boys were. I knew at that instant it wasnt 'appropiate behaviour' I was displaying but I couldnt have cared less.

The poor mum and kids went and got the midwife for me and DH. I think DH was even more embarrassed.

LMFAO!!!! This is the funniest thing I have ever heard! I can't stop laughing!

It's so true when you are in labour you are in another world...!


the first poo after having a baby is the scariest thing you will ever do, your sit there, you know what you need to do, but your too damn scared to push cos last time you pushed a baby came out. I seriously sat on the toilet for half an hour psyching myself up just to do a poo. smile

OMG this is hilarious! Know the feeling all too well!!!

They should publish all of these stories in a new updated version of "what to expect when you're expecting" lol.

Mine would have to be needing to wee right after the birth, had only just showered off all the gunk, was feeling slightly refreshed and a bit better now I had fresh clothes on. As soon as I got into bed I had the urge to pee... jumped up and it all came out, blood wee everything! Not happy Jan! lol. Thankfully once the feeling returned in my hoo ha, so did my ability to hold onto my wee lol.

To the people who had their bumholes violated... if and nurse tries that when I have my next bub, they will surely end up the recipient of a black eye or two! lol

These stories are rather funny. I tore with DS and the doctor who was stitching me up asked if students could observe. I was so exhausted and still experiencing the afteraffects of pain relief medication that I said ok. 10 minutes later as the drugs were wearing off I was so embarrassed to find 6 students standing around the business end watching. Now the worst thing is that by the end of my pregnancy lets just say I was not keeping the hedges all that trimmed and having people witness that mess down there is not something I like to relive smile

This thread is funny im LMAO. Gets me back to labour with DD. I saw the midwifes discreetly remove the poo while i was pushing and walking with just a top on covered in vermix from DD and my bottom half covered in blood to the shower with DP keeping me standing still. The blood omg no wonder i was so dizzy it was all over the bed, the floor and dripping as i walked to the shower. Going to toilet was painful after this time ill avoid the orange juice i drank alot of it.
PMSL ha ha ha these are all so funny looking back smile

I have quite large boobies and wanted them covered through labour however with my first I had a shower and was put in a gown backwards so everything and I mean everything was on show!! but I was in too much pain to care!
Also after having ds I remeber bf and the contractions whilst bf often gave me the urge to pooh and unfortunalty for me it wasnt hard! I once had to hand bub over to dh and run to the loo only to find I had already started! "shame" althou noone but me ever knew!

also with both mine I had PE so was in hospital before having them and every wee i did had to be collected and tested for protien!

And I was horrified to hear the dr say whilst trying to break my waters with dd "I'm sure my fingers were longer yesterday!"

Oh so many things! LOL BUT IT IS ALL SO WORTH IT and you really dont think about it untill moments like these than you can laugh about it!

I lost my modesty before giving birth. 10:30am on a sat morning (long weekend) at the local hopsital emergency dept is FULL of people.

I was wearing nothing but a very small dressing gown that covered my shoulders, back and bum lol (very fast onset and i was in the shower when it started, the dressing gown was what DH threw on me before he carried me to the car)

Nurses bought a bed to the car but there I was standing up on the road still as close to naked as could be in the middle of a contraction, next to the trolly not moving with EVERYONE having a good look.

Mine wasn't really an embarrassing thing but more a scary one which I certainly didn't expect!
9 days after having DD2 we were in the middle of Toys-R-Us in a big shopping center. All of a sudden I felt dripping like I was weeing myself. I tried to stop it but couldn't and had no idea what was going on! I really thought I had lost the ability not to wee so in the middle of the toy store I looked down my pants and saw I was bleeding. Like gushing blood. Had no idea what to do so told DH who obviously didn't get that I meant lots of blood until I lifted up my trackpants leg and all my legs and socks and top of shoes were already red from it.
Anyway we made our way to the medical center in the shopping center who took my blood pressure etc and said I had to go to the hossy but it wasn't life threatening or anything so DH had to go and get the car etc with a 2.5yr old and a newie. I was fine though shocked but poor DH was petrified.
The most embarrassing part was probably all the checks etc at the hossy by the dr and nurse!
I'm just so glad I was wearing pants!!! It was the start of March and hot so I made sure I wore pants for the nest 2 weeks everywhere just in case!
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