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  5. Modesty During and After giving Birth - May Contain Adult Themes!

Modesty During and After giving Birth - May Contain Adult Themes! Lock Rss

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i LOVE this, i had an emergency c-sect so never went through any of this
One thing i tried to do was keep that area not too crowded (lol) and when shaving me ready for c-sect the midwife (woman) mentioned that i had kept very tidy and me on the gas said to her well i was hoping you would be a man for me to pick up so had to make sure i was decent well they all had a laugh i was soooo out of it on the gas lol it was great.
Having an internal done at 39weeks by a lil pakestan (sp?) male doctor was imbarrassing...especially cos i hadnt "trimmed"...than when i was taken in for c section they had to shave the top part but the bottom was still uber hairy and all i could think about was the people in the delevery room staring at me laying naked on their table LOL
hahahahahha these are so funny!!!

I dont remember this but apparently when having DD she was stuck and they had to turn her head to get the vacuum thing on(id been pushing for 4 hrs) so the midwife reached in and turned her, my mum said later she had no idea that someone could fit 2 whole arms in there!!! so glad i dont remember that bit. there was so much more horrible bits in dds birth im glad I dont remember most of it!
modesty and childbirth do not go together.

modesty and childbirth do not go together.

i remember all the checks for grazes and on my bf oh so well. i felt sorry for my midwifes, i told one to f off and kicked another one in the head (whoops). also remember basically being carried to the shower and having both the midwife and ex dp help me shower and get dressed as i was too weak to do it myself.

mum to one goregous boy

PMSL girls!!!! this is bringing all the memories back lol

During labour I had no shame - after delivering DS I had a PPH and my dr was controlling it (thank god) anyway after having a few lots of syntocin IM he decided to give me misopristal - I heard him ask for it so knew which way it was given but farrrk when he put them in I nearly kicked him - lucky for him I was in stirrups lol. (for those not in the know they are suppositries lol)

That was the worst part of my drugfree labour lol

DD1 everything was fine during labour except all of the internals really hurt and the nurse was making comments about how DF's penis must be the size of a pencil. After she was born I needed to express as she was prem and for some reason they got someone to express me by hand (yes someone else squeezed the milk out of my breasts and in to a cup for me).

DD2 I got to the hospital with 8 minutes to spare probably 4-5 minutes by the time I got to the room. I went to go do a pee sample and ended up running out with no pants on jumping on the bed and catching her before the midwife had time to put her gloves on. I'm also 99% sure I peed when in the wheelchair coming from the car to the room. The first time I got up after having her the nurse said that I would need to pee straight away before they could move me to the other ward and that peeing in the shower whilst sitting on a chair would be easiest tongue
after having forceps resulting in a 4th degree tear (which is apparently quite rare) i had about 6 doctors come into the birth suite to have a look - it was exactly as you would see on grey's anatomy, where all the drs want to get a look in. then i had to go to theatre, was put in really high stirrups, spread-eagled with my bum in the air for an hour and a half being stitched up, just with the epidural, so i was well aware of everything happening.

then i had to have ultrasound physiotherapy on my stitches everyday to help them heal, so spend at least half an hour each day with my daks down, and an ultrasound wand being rubbed over my nether regions, and occasionally a nurse or 2 would come in while it was going on, what a lovely sight that must have been.

while lying on my side having physio with extremely weak pelvic floor muscles, i found out its really hard to keep farts in, especially when you have been trying to overdose yourself on fibre (ie metamucil 3 times daily and allbran for breakfast).

because i had trouble breastfeeding, i was trying to express between each feed attempt, so i had a breast pump hanging off each boob like i was a cow, and visitors kept turning up while i am sitting there with my boobs out. fun.

then at my 6 week post partum check, the OB needed to check to make sure that everything was healing up correctly, including my sphincter valve which also tore slightly during birth. so on top of having a pap smear i also had a finger up my bum.

i also had to have more physio after leaving hospital - the physio watched (ie knickers down legs spread) while i did my pelvic floor exercises to make sure i was using the right muscles.

i think thats about it for now.

oh...i am having a caesar this time. do you blame me?!

After I had DD1 I couldn't get out of bed (had PPH) and DD was in the SCN. After trying a few times I managed to get into a wheelchair without passing out (with help from DF and a midwife) and they wheeled me into the shower, stripped me off and I sat there while they washed me haha..

After she was born I needed to express as she was prem and for some reason they got someone to express me by hand (yes someone else squeezed the milk out of my breasts and in to a cup for me).

After I had DD2 she was in the SCN for a few days and I was too sick to go see her so I had to express for her which apparently I suck at! On the 2nd day I think it was (or maybe 3rd) I had a midwife on my right boob expressing for me and a trainee midwife on my left boob doing it too haha.. I don't think I've even told DF that! But like I said it took me forever and my baby was hungry so we were trying to get as much as we could asap.

When i got to hossy, midwife checked how dilated i was (8cm) and i was shocked to see that basically half her friggin arm was goin up there!

I had ds in the bath, had to hop out of the bath immedietly to deliver the placenta on the bed. I was in a hossy gown up until i got out of the bath & then they took it off & walked but naked to the bed blood dripping everywhere.
When i wanted to go for a shower i got up and had no idea blood was going to come POURING out on to the floor hehe i apologized for the mess.

They also told me to try and do a wee in the shower, i let a bit out and OUCH!!!! I only had a 1st degree tear needing no stitches and peeing still hurt like crazy. I held on to it for about 24 hours coz i was scared to go until a midwife came & forced me to it lol

After giving birth to dd i had stitches and a nurse gave me some ice cubes wrapped in a cloth for the swelling. but i couldnt' keep them on for long because it was freezing, so i tried to get them off but they were stuck!! I had to buzz for the nurse and say 'i have 6 icecubes stuck to my .....'- she poured luke warm water(which felt like boiling water on frozen parts) over them to get them off!!!

and it HURT like hell to pee for about 10 days after giving birth. I found this worse than labour to be honest.

and the baby blues suck - but they only last 4 or so days. but be warned- they suck!!
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