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Tearing or Episiotomy Lock Rss

Hi all!!

I'm new to the forums...still working everything out on here...I have my first bub due on March 23rd, so its a little exciting and nerve racking all in one, not sure what to expect.

I know this probably sounds silly, but I've been tossing up between an elective c-section and a vaginal birth for the past few weeks. I've spoken to my obs. and he says its really up to me and to have a think about it...but the more I think about it the more confused I am! I can see the pros and cons of both, but I'm worried I won't cope with a vaginal birth. I've never been good with pain and am a huge sook. But I think my biggest concern is tearing or having to have an episiotomy, as just the thought TERRIFIES me!!! Is it common for this to happen?
I'm quite a small person - I was size 6-8 before I was pregnant and my doc says bub should be between 7.5 and 8.5 pounds (which sounds large to me! haha).
I guess I'm just wanting to hear some other peoples thoughts and experiences!!

Thanks for your help smile
I had a natural birth, and tore rather badly. I was also small before i fell pregnant! My girl ended up being 7lbs 8 oz and 55.5cm, not small but not all that large either and even though I tore, I have healed perfectly. I think you should be more worried about healing after a c-section, thats major surgery! Sure you won't have to go through labour if you have an elective c-section (I'm not a fan of pain at all either) but you might not even tear if you have a vaginal birth! I don't think size really has anything to do with if you might tear or not, only if you have a small pelvis that the baby wont be able to go through, and by reading what you have written, that is not the case for you (thankfully!).

I was terrified of giving birth, most first time mums are, but I survived! My waters broke around 6pm and i had my daughter at 2.57am, and only had the epidural for the last couple hours (nearlly missed out alltogether!), so i went thru around 6hrs of major labour pain (not including being in labour since very early the previous morning!) and am still here to talk about it hehe grin

I wouldn't be getting a c-section unless there was something lifethreatening. You can always have drugs during labour, I had an epidural and actually enjoyed an hour or two of my labour, it became pretty exciting once the pain was gone! I felt absolutely nothing after the epi, loved it!

Oh, and I wouldn't worry too much about what size the doc says your baby might be, the head OB said my daughter would be well over 9lbs, she came out 7lb 8oz thank God!

Having had a c-section (they called it elective, but i had pre-eclampsia and DD was breech, so i didnt get the choice), i would never opt to have another one. I am 6 weeks pregnant with #2 and i will be pushing to have a natural birth.

Research the recovery with a c-section. You are told not to do any lifting, physical stuff for 6 weeks, the recovery is slower and if your not good with pain, i honestly would go natural.

As pp said, you may not even tear or need an episiotomy and from what i have heard, when your in the midst of labour, you dont feel it anyways.

Good Luck with your choice! =)
i have had 2 children with no tears.was walking around 10mins after giving birth.was home after 6 hours.lesson to your body and mid wife and don't push when they say stop.the pain is only for a little while and you get some thing great at the end.

if you have a c/s it is going to take time to get back on your feet.
I had 2nd degree tears with my DD and they had healed WAY before my friends from coffee group had healed from their C sections (I think 2 or 3 ended up having them). Personally I didn't feel the tearing at the time, and I think the pushing was the best part!! I would go for a day or two of pain vs 6 to 8 weeks of pain any day.
Also I have a close friend who has had one C section (her bub turned breach at the last minute and got stuck) and a natural birth for her second. She said that natural is the way to go, you can be up and around within hours rather than within weeks.
Some other things to consider are, after a C section you aren't allowed to drive for 6 weeks. You aren't allowed to lift anything heavy (baskets of wet washing are a no no) and it is MAJOR abdominal surgery so you have to care for your wound, and it is painful.
After 2nd degree tears I still am hoping that I give birth naturally with bub #2.
I have had 3 c sections..... give birth at a base hospital naturally and see what happens you may just surprise yourself and everything goes well, if not and you get into trouble there is always a team nearby in case.

if you do have a c section you can still breast feed and have skin on skin contact straight after..... Personally I would try the natural and see how it goes,,,,,

they said my last was going to be 10pound plus but he was only 8 pounds when he was born...... plenty of little in stature people have been giving birth since the beginning of time.
Hey there,

In my oppinion, i dont know how this will sound but ill just tell you what i think..

i think you should have a natural birth and here are a few reasons why,

1 c-section is major surgery and will deffinatly be some sort of painfull recovery.
2 it does not really matter how much the baby weighs more so how big the head is.
3 if you listen to the advice of your midwife or doc during your labour and deleivery you should not tear (not garenteed)
4 if you are finding it hard to cope with the pain there is always the option of pain relief including an epidural wich you should not feel pain at all if you have or just gas or pethidine or something to take the 'nip' off the pain..
5 with a natural birth it is very likley you will be up and about straight away whereas a c-section you will probably have to be on the bed untill you can walk without cringing in pain.. (although some people who have had a c-section have go up and about staight away.)

i think you shoud take to your midwife or carer about your fears and seek thier advice and learn your options so you are as informed as possiable when you make your final desicion.

Mum of 3 girls, 1 boy, 1 angel, 1 on the way!

Hey hon i can totally relate to being scared of the unexpected but honestly the pain isnt normal kind of pain its a different pain,cant explain it until you experience it yourself but i think if you dont tense up and panic and stay relaxed it is alot more bearable,just listen to yoru midwives smile

With DD my waters broke with Meconium in it and i wasnt having any contractions so they decided to give me the sintocin to speed up/bring on the contractions (try to stay away form it,lethal stuff,doesnt allow your body to have a natural build up so you are just hit with intence contractions from the start) after 10hrs drug free and only being 3cm dialated i was exsausted & having soem really bad back pain along with the contractions so decided to try the pethadine to get soem sleep as bubs was still awhile off (for me another bad mistake,the peth only took teh edge of the pain and made me sick,dizzy felt like crap and put bubs in distress,her heart rate started dropping with each contraction down to 42bpm then racing inbetween contractiosn to 210+BPM)
was checked again and i still wanst progressing much so it was decided since bubs was in distress to go for an emergency c-section, room filled with staff to prepare me for thearte,annethitist came in and gave me Epidural (BESTEST RELIEF! also i think teh epi relaxed my body enough for her to make her way out) and just as we were leaving the birthing suite to go down to thearte i said i felt funny like i needed to go toilet (preasure in my bum) the MW checked and DD's head was crowning! 20mins earlier i was only 5cm dialated!!! gasp So fortunatley for me i didnt require an emergency C-sec as DD decided to make an entry grin i had an assisted delivery with Vaccume suction and required an Episiotomy, it took around 3weeks to heal but isnt even noticable really. Mia weighed 7lb 2oz was such a tiny little dolly hehe

DS birth was completely different! Contractiosn started very mildly Tuesday afternoon around 2pm,werent even really noticable and very irregular.
8pm i went to hospital,still very bearable jsut like period pain by this stage i guess,was 3cm dialated so decided to come home smile
walked aroudn teh house trying to get thinsg moving faster,by Midnight they were starting to get a littel ouchey but nothing bad so decided i best get some rest as it wouldnt be long before ild need all my energy for the delivery.
Sleep jsut wasnt going to happen,i tossed and turned and could not get comfortable and jsut as ild start to dooze a contraction would wake me up, i started gritting my teeth thru them so decided to get up and have a shower smile that was great stayed in there for ages!

at 4:55am i decided the pain was getting a little unbearable so i took 2 penadine fort ( bad move,slowed all my hard work down! contrcatiosn stopped)

7am contractiosn finally started again but were very mild almost like they were earlier in teh day before i went to hospital, i was devostated and kicking myself for taking them haha

11am after timing contractions and tehm being 3mins apart decided to make a move to the hospital. was taken straight into teh birthing suite and checked,foudn to be 5cm so she stretched me to 6cm and asked if she could break my waters as that was the only thing stopping baby making his way. waters broken and contractions started getting more feirce and at this point actually started to get to a pain i felt that i needed something so used the gas, it made me spew but once i was sick i felt great afterwards and the gas helped give me something to focus on rather then teh contraction it self and helped me to breathe thru teh contraction, inbetween contractions i was still laughing and chatting away grin
around 4pm i started getting presure but was in denial a litte so didnt get on the bed staright away LOL 4:55pm Mason Jay was born a beautiful 8lb 4oz
i only had a couple of grazes and bounced back like staright away i felt fine to go home LOL but stayed for 48hrs anyhow

we were back on the horse by week 3 tongue

recovery from vaginal delivery even if it is as horrible as my first experience is still far better then recovering from major abdominal syrgery with a newborn IMO and my birth with DS i loved ever min of it,as i said right up til the end i was laughing,joking and chatting away and he was an entire pound bigger then DD!

like yourself i was an 6/8 pre kids, now a size 10.

do your research and make a decsion for you self,best advice would be to listen to your midwive and dont panic or tense up,go with it & express your fears to them they may be able to ease them also telling them uld like to avoid an episiotomy or tearing they will be able to tell you what position to get into to help with that wink best of luck
Hey everyone,

Thank you all so much for your replies. Its really nice to get some other perspectives - especially from other mums who've been there before. To be honest, I hadn't heard to many stories about women tearing, just 1 that sounded HORRIBLE and then brief explanations from birthing/parenting classes, so its nice to be a little more informed and hear stories from others about what to expect.
Like all first time mums, I'm just not sure what to expect either way. So confusing and daunting...and terrifying all in one!

I took your advice and spoke to both the midwife and doctor and have decided all being well and everything going to plan I'll aim for a natural delivery! I feel so much better today after speaking to them...until now I haven't felt like they were approachable about things, so its been great!

Anyway, thanks again smile
Good on you for making this decision! Just don't forget that if you can't deal with the pain, take the drugs! I had the gas (made me feel stoned and vomitie), pethidene (worked after bub was born!) and finally the epidural for the last couple hours, which was wonderful smile

Childbirth is scary & painful, but also exciting and so worth it!

haha, I hear sooooo many good things about epidurals taking the pain away! Sounds like a saviour (sp?) smile
I think too many people get off on trying to scare the crap out of pregnant ladies, I've heard so many horror stories
Things have come along way and once you have that baby it will all be worth it smile
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