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  5. Is it a good idea for my 4 year old daughter Lilly to be at the birth of her twin sisters

Is it a good idea for my 4 year old daughter Lilly to be at the birth of her twin sisters Lock Rss

I was wondering whether it was a good idea to let my little 4yo daughter Lilly come to the birth of her twin sisters.
She is so excited about her new sisters and is always kissing my belly, talking to it and blowing raspberries on it. She wants to come and watch the babies come out of mummy. My parents will be outside the room incase she wants to leave.
Will it be too gross for her or will she enjoy being there?

Please reply,
Alice

Lilly,6/ Paige,14mnths & my angel Maddy-SIDS

i personally wouldnt no but i think the choice is yours...if you feel she is capable of it than y not?? and if ur parents are outside incase she has enough or your finding it to hard to have her in thea than she can go out with them!! i had a mate who was at both births i mean she was like 8 at the time but she always talks bout it she proud of been thea for the first time her bro and sis came into the world!!..just also lilly mite get upset that her mummy in pain so maybe if u explain to her wat to expect it should be good an as u said u have a back up plan thea if u need it!!!....

yay my baby boi is walking aww so gergeous, such a

Hi Alice,

I think it is wonderful for you to have your daughter Lily there for the birth of the twins. You seem to have all bases covered with your parents waiting outside if she doesn't want to stay in the room. I am having my two boys at the birth of there new brother in approx 5 weeks. We have explained at what will happen and how bubs will come out of me, and they are happy. We have done the same thing though and will have my parents in the waiting area just incase they don't want to be in the room anymore.

I think it is a great experience for a child to see that process. We are even going to give the boys little tasks so they know they have helped. Ben my youngest will be incontrol of putting my CD player on. My eldest Matthew will be in control of heating up my heat packs, and hopefully all four of us will cut the cord like a family unit.

You sound pretty comfortable with her being there, I would go for it.

Luv
Jo
XX
I personly wouldnt have her in there as she is only 4 and this could trumatise her for life, she shold wait outside and come in as soon as the girls are born. I understand the bond that your daughter already has with the twins but I don't think she sould see you going through the pain of labour and birth as it might scare her.

Its hard enough having your partner watch you go through labour and birth with nothing he can do to really help you imagin how your daughter would feel? I just think as soon as the birth is over then have her there but really having her there at the moment of birth is a bad idea.

Ofcourse this is just my opinion and you will do what you like as this is your daughter but I say think really hard cuz once thats happened there is no turning back after you have made that decision.

Think of your daughter and only of her.

Mel, Bailey 30/3/03, Jaida 10/12/04 & EDD 3/3/07

My daughter also wanted to be present at the birth of her sister and although I've been in two minds about it, I'd pretty much decided to let her be there for as long as she could handle it.

However, when I mentioned this at my last midwife clinic appointment, the midwife asked me to carefully reconsider our decision. She explained that a child's mother is the epitomy of strength and control in a child's eyes and to see that mother crying, in pain or out of control can leave emotional scars that won't easily heal. It can also affect that child's view of childbirth in general and create a fear association that will last for the rest of their lives. When I noted that my daughter would be able to leave the room whenever she (or I) felt uncomfortable, the midwife pointed out that by that stage, it might already be too late ... she may already have seen too much.

Having said this, all midwives seem to have different advice to offer on different topics, so perhaps a chat with your midwife might be in order ... but my midwife has put enough doubt in my head about the idea to decide not to go ahead with it.

Nicole - WA - Mummy to 2 Girls (16yrs & 9mths)

Hi, I think go with your gut, you know your child and are the best judge. I am 37 weeks pregnant and my son who is 3yrs 5months will be at the birth of his sister. He'll be there with his dad and I think will be just fine. I know that birth is a big thing but he has been a part of this pregnancy all along and has a very good understanding of whats going on. The decision for him to be there wasn't so much a choice for us it is just how it has to be but all along he has been there at every doctors visit every scan and every test and can tell you exactly whats what. With your parents outside I think will be great cause if anything unexpected happens you can distract her. I really think my son almost deserves to see his sister born to complete the journey for him. I plan to have an eppidural so It's not like i'm going to be screaming in agony and we will position him and dad when the time comes so the view is not too graphic but I really do feel it is a case of plan it out and be sensible and it will be a wonderful family experience for all. Sorry if I have rambled at 37weeks my brains a bit scrambled but good luck and if you do decide to have her there I am sure it will be just fine.
It's completely your choice, but would you actually give her sex education at the age of 4 to compliment what she is going to witness?

Good luck with what you decide, only you know if your child has a strong enough character and confident mind to watch you deliver.
Hi,

It really is something that i wouldnt allow to happen.

I think it will be extremely overwhelming for her.

I would prefer to have my kids just see the end product and not know how it all happened. (I have a 6,5 and 3yr old)

My kids are like your daughter is with me and the baby but i wouldnt let them in there to watch. Also too because i dont want to be worrying about how they are coping, are they in the way etc while im trying to give birth. I see the birth as being special to just me and my husband.

There is also other factors you need to consider like the possibility of complications, if there was any rush to do anything, you wouldnt want your daughter caught up in all that.

This is just my opinion though and i would in no way criticise you if you make the choice to have her there with you. Its just not what i would do for the reasons i have outlined.

Kristi 5 kids. www.familynfriends.forumwise.com

Hi Alice,
My 4 and a half year old daughter Tiahla was at the birth of her sister Sammi-Lee.
My personal opinion was that I felt it was wrong to palm her off to a friend or relative while Mummy was taken away from her only to reappear with another child.

I believe this could trigger jealousy between siblings (I know it did in family when I was a child).
Tiahla was very excited about having a new baby brother or sister. She was always kissing my belly too and talking to the baby. She would place her hand on my tummy to feel the baby kick.

I live on the Gold Coast in QLD and my parents and family are in Victoria. My partners parents are here on the Gold Coast but at the time our new baby was due to arrive they were overseas in Fiji holidaying. So I really didn't have anyone to leave Tiahla with anyway.

My partner and I discussed it with Tiahla and I showed her pictures. We even watched a documentary called "The Human Body - An Everyday Miracle". I'm not sure if you have ever seen it but it follows a pregnant woman through the different stages of her pregnancy until birth.

It shows everything so Tiahla knew what she was in for. Tiahla is a little squirmish and doesn't like blood so I wasn't sure how she would cope. But she was brilliant.

My labour started at about lunch time. We were just about to go through the MacDonald's drive through. My back had been aching all day and by then I told my partner that I wanted to go to the hospital "just to see what was happening"

I was there for ages but was sent home at about 3pm as nothing much was happening. We got stuck at the hospital for about an hour because there was a heavy down pour of rain and we didn't have an umbrella.

By the time we got home it was 5pm and the contractions were about 5 - 6 mins apart. I think we lasted at home about half an hour (enough time to eat) and then we headed back to the hospital.

Tiahla feel asleep in the chair at around 8:30pm. I had packed a small bag of things for her. Snacks, colouring book and pencils, books to read, her favourite teddy and a change of clothes.

By 11pm I was making a hell of a lot of noise. This woke Tiahla and because I was standing up next to the bed, my partner put Tiahla on the bed and instructed her to pat my hand and head and to tell me I was "doing a good job Mummy". She offered me water to drink and made sure my cup was always full.

She was such a great helper and I will always treasure the memory of Tiahla being there to help with the birth of her baby sister. She was so proud to be one of the first to hold Sammi-Lee and I think it gives them an extra special bond that no-one can ever take away.

She talks to me sometimes about it. She asks about the bleeding and why this happens. She did look at "the deep end" (as my hubby calls it) and she wasn't grossed out at all. We haven't yet explained the whole birds and the bees subject yet and I don't intend to confuse a 5 year old but she does know where babies come from.

In the end Alice it is up to you and whether you believe your daughter will treasure the idea of being a part of her siblings welcome or whether you think it would upset her. Your the best judge you know your daughter better than anyone.

Good Health and Luck to you and your growing family.

Allie.

Alliecat

Thank you to everyone who replied, I thought about what all of you said and I in the end decided that Lilly would be outside the room with my mum and dad so she could come in as soon as the babies were born.
This worked well for me because then that way I wasn't worried about scaring Lilly for life or making her upset that I was in pain.
Thanks for all you messages. lol

Alice, the proudest mummy in the world

Lilly,6/ Paige,14mnths & my angel Maddy-SIDS

Hi,

I just wanted to say Congratulations on the birth of Paige and Maddison grin:D

Kristi 5 kids. www.familynfriends.forumwise.com

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