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  5. I am really kacking my daks about this birth

I am really kacking my daks about this birth Lock Rss

Seriously!

I wake up every night and I am panicking about it. I had an emergancy ceaser last time, and this time the doctors said that there were these big stickers on my notes saying not to try for a VBAC this time only to do a ceaser, but I persuaded them I wanted a VBAC - or at least a try, but as we get closer and closer, I find that I am pooing my self more and more. It is really starting to affect me. I cried last night in bed because I was so scared that everything would go badly wrong.

What should I do - it is ages till I see the obs, but I want to talk to someone now because I am so stressed out.

Victoria xx
[Edited on 20/09/2007]
[Edited on 20/09/2007]
[Edited on 20/09/2007]
[Edited on 23/09/2007]
Hi victoria
When areu due? what is it that is worrying you mostA? Is it that you are scared of a natural birth or scared that you will have probs and you should just go with the Cesarian? (is that how you spell it) I had my first baby 4 weeks ago naturally and i was packing myself too! i wish i could tell you it is easy but i don't want to mislead you. I had a 28 hour labour which was really difficult but the experience was so amazing that i am glad i got to do it that way in the end. It was incredibly painful but the gas worked really well for the most part and you will just be so in awe of what an achievement it is to bring that baby into the world that way. If your OB says that it is unlikely that you will have the same complications again, i would recommend you give4 a natural birth a go.
Hope i haven/t scared you!
Kelly

Mummy to Lily

what seems to be bothering you?
the fact that there were large stickers on your file saying dont try for a vbac?
or is it just the fact that you might have another emergancy c-section?

im sure there both playing on your mind some what but seriously dont stress too much about it otherwise you stressing isnt going to help the baby along to come out.

think of the positives. and how empowering you will feel when you do accomplish a vbac.
im sure everyone is scared about trying for a vbac and its only natruall to worry
but seriously its not worth keeping yourself up at night crying about. just no that your baby is going to come into this world somehow and it will be healthy and gorgeous smile

Thanks for the replies!

I think what is worrying me is complications - will I cause harm to the baby or myself by trying and the baby getting stuck again - when I say harm, I am actually worried about death. I am getting more and more worried as I am getting bigger and bigger as time goes on - at the moment I have 5 and a half weeks to go, and I think I must be bigger than last time as I had a fresh batch of stretchmarks this week, and bubba last time was big - and I suppose my pelvis must be small because he got well and truly wedged. If this baby is bigger - which is what the docs keep telling me is the case, why am I trying to think about sticking a bigger baby down through the same pelvis which couldn't pass the first one??

I really wanted a VBAC - I wanted to feel like I had experianced what I thought was my birthright as a woman - a natural child birth. I got quite depressed about my 'failure' to do that even though I kept being told it was not my fault. I wanted to have less time recovering and be at home with my son and the new baby.

I talked to DH about it but he just told me to talk to my mum and sister - they are in the UK though and I will probably upset myself more if I talk to them on the phone because I can't see them.

Victoria x
Hey there,
From what you've said, your doctors will not let you get any thing CLOSE to something going wrong. They'll be monitoring you really closly for vbac, especially if there are specific issues likely to come up.
I can totally understand that you'd want to try for a natural birth, go for it. As long as you're realisic about the possibility that you may have another c/s you could still have a great birth experience.
Would it help to think through both situations - successful vbac and c/s - and remind yourself about the positives? I'm posting from the pov of someone going for an elective c/s after an emergency c/s, but it was a really hard decision not to try for a vbac. In the end I decided I didn't want to risk the disappointment of failing, plus I knew what I'd be dealing with if I had a c/s. I can imagine I'd be feeling very much like you if my decision had gone the other way! But I'm not trying to talk you out of vbac!!

Nikki, 26. Mum to William 1.3.06; Callum 30.10.07

You are right Nikki - they have said they will monitor it all closely, I forgot about that in all my little self absorbed tizzy! THanks for reminding me.

Victoria xx
Victoria, you have a lot of support around you. Your midwives and probably Ob will be there monitoring and making sure you're doing alright and that bub is doing alright. They won't let it get that far.

And those of your family and friends who said before that it's not your fault that you couldn't have a natural birth are right. Sometimes drs need to interene for our own safety etc like they did with your DS.

Other than that I can say that from what I have read from you, you are a very strong woman and need to keep focused on the final outcome, the prize at the end rather than how your bub is born.

You will have all the support in the room with you so you do what you feel is right for you and if that is going for a Vbac then go for it hon. But just remember that either way your bub is the prize and the newlife you get to look after and cherish. That's the most important thing. It's not a failure if you have to have another c/s. It's just a case of keeping you both safe!

Take care
Danielle xoxo

Lol Victoria! When you mentioned the title had something to do with kacking your daks - i thought you meant literally!

My mum had the same issue with me - she has a small pelvis and I didn't fit but the dumb doctors 20 years ago decided to keep trying which nearly resulted in the death of both of us from what i've been told. Doctors can do pelvic ultrasounds to gaige whther they think the baby is likely to fit - which is what they did with my little sister - but she was to big from about 35 weeks and the doctor put his foot down and refused to induce mum that early, so she ended up with a c sect and has felt how you are worried about feeling for a long time.

No doctor will do a pelvic ultrasound for me despite the history of the problem -so i am not real happy.

anyhow chin up and think positive and it definately isn't ur fault if it doesn't happen!
Hiya V
you are soooo honest! Goodonya.
If they do all the proper monitoring then you are taking all the right precautions to minimise risks to the baby, and yourself!
And the question: if I am going to end up with a cesear, why bother with the labour?
The point of going through labour, is going through labour. Even if the last 10 minutes of your labour is surgical, the rest of it is something great to experience.
Have a read of the sotries in the VBAC sticky, there are some inspiriational ones!
I am due in 5 weeks too, and going vbac too.

3 girls under 3

Hi Victoria
I too believe that you should try for a VBAC and keep really positive about it... knowing that your pelvis has done lots of work with the first baby, the second time around it will allow for a much easier transition through and fingers crossed your new addition will make a easy trip through.
The midwives and doctors will stop the natural birth at the first sign of complications to protect you and the baby so keep positive, remember all pregnant mums have teary, freaking out moments (or at least I know I do!!! just ask my DH about it at present!!) and keep your chin up... all will be fine and before you know it regardless of how they enter the world you will be holding your gorgeous bundle of joy!
Good luck xo

Jodie..... Mum to five gorgeous girls

Hi Victoria
Do your mum and your sister have a computer and internet?? If they do set up Skype or a similar program, buy a webcam each, and talk to them for free - you will also be able to see each other. I did this with my parents, and talk to them each day. This way they get to see Ben growing each day, and he gets used to seeing and hearing them, so when we visit they are not strangers. Also makes it sooooo much easier to get their advice on everything from rashes to what I can dress him in for photos... Makes them a part of our lives every day so I dont feel so homesick.

Relax and think positive for the birth. If you want to try a vbac, try it, but having a caesar does not make you any less of a mother, or any less of a woman. As long as you and bub are safe happy and healthy, who cares how they make their way out. I was proud that I had a "natural" birth, I think the threat of having to have an epidural for a caesar made me finally get Ben out "naturally".
I f things are progressing - ask if you could try a shot of pethadine. I was 2cm from 6am until 5pm with contractions every 70 seconds. A half shot of peth sent my body into a relaxed state and I went to 10cm within an hour. 23 minutes later he was in my arms.
Each birth is different, so enjoy the ride that this one takes you on.
Thanks so much for your supportive messages girls!

I felt so much better after having read them. It is nice to know that I can come on herre and post my worries and get such support, so quickly in return

Thanks Again

Victoria x
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