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Scattering ashes? Lock Rss

I lost my little boy at 39 weeks almost nine weeks ago now. It has been the longest nine weeks of my life yet at the same time it is amazing that nine weeks have already passed. It is awful that time and life just keeps going on around you. I'd give anything to have him back.
I guess the time has come that we have to decide what to do with his ashes. At first we thought we'd get a plot so that we had somewhere to visit but I know that he is gone and cemetries are such sad places. So we have decided I think to scatter his ashes. I want to have a place where I can go that is in time joyful and we can look back on the time that we had him as wonderful and happy. I am just scared to make the final decision in case I regret whatever we decide. I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas of how or where we could scatter them. And how do I know when it is the right time to do it and what is the right thing to do with them? Scattering his ashes just makes it all so final and real, but at the same time I can't stand the thought of them being locked away somewhere at the funeral home.
Im sorry to hear your loss and I can imagine all the hurt you are feeling
It will be nice to have a memorial garden at home in the back yard with a little
Boy statue and a plaque. I guess scattering the ashes will let him be with you where
Ever you go..what ever you do he will always be with you

emili 24/02/2005


I'm so sorry for your loss and not sure what to say except maybe give yourself a bit more time to make a decision.

We are also wondering what to do (lost my daughter at 21 weeks also about 9 weeks ago now), we have her ashes which they told us they'd put in a little pink urn however when we picked them up they are in a little box that looks like her coffin so we dont know what to do with it.

We have decided to plant a tree in our garden and a wonderful lady I know told me I should write a letter to her of all our hopes and dreams we had and our feelings and put that underneath the tree when we plant it, both DH and I like that idea so that's what we are going to do. Still not sure what to do with her ashes now that they are in this box, but planting her a special tree in our garden will be her little place.
Firstly I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy.I too lost a beautiful boy at 39 weeks last year.I agree with Ava's Mummy, if you are a bit worried that you will regret it maybe you should just hang onto the ashes for the time being until you are a bit surer. One day you might just think of something that you'd really like to do with them.
Im hoping that your days are getting a little better.
Ava's Mummy love the idea of the tree and the letter.We wrote a beautiful letter to our baby and put it in his coffin.I too hope that you are travelling OK
Big hugs to you both

Post deleted by administrator.
I'm sorry for your loss. But I agree with spunkymunky that you should hold off on making any decisions until you know for sure in your heart what you are going to do is the right thing.
I would kind of advise against spreading them in the backyard etc as you never know where life is going to take you, and that backyard may not always be your backyard.
I would consider maybe a national park or beach or somewhere that you know will always be accessible for you to visit.
When you come across the right thing to do you will know it. It will make you feel warm and comfortable and safe with your decision.
Firstly I just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss.I too agree with the others, and think you should hold off perhaps scattering them until you are 100% sure that is what you want. If you do decide to scatter them I think the beach is a nice place. You could also plant a nice plant/flower in an outdoor pot, and put the ashes in there with the soil. That way if you move house etc the plant/flower could go with you. You could also have a plaque on the actual pot if you wanted.
We lost our litte girl 11 weeks ago today. I feel like you, that it has been the longest 11 weeks of my life. We had our daughter cremated and I have decided to keep the ashes here at home. I bought a nice little silver box type thing with four little carved legs. It has a a shaped top with two love hearts cut out (for photos), and it is velvet lined. I've had Chloes name and dob engraved on it as well.
Just give yourself sometime and you will eventually know exactly what you want.
[Edited on 11/10/2007]

I agree with damicta, perhaps a little locket you could keep close to your heart!
Hey Jill.

When we are hurting like we are you just expect the world to stop around us too but people continue on their daily chores without a care in the world.. If only they knew our heartache.

Matey I can understand that you don't know what to do with bubby's ashes, and yes it is quite final isn't it. My Rhiarna was buried so I didn't face that decision of what to do.

As I said to my neice, one day it'll all click and you will make all the right decisions. Sometimes they just take a little longer but don't rush things, take your time and it will work out. As for the timing, no one can tell you that, you will feel it. A day will come when you will feel at peace and you will know.

Take care sweet girl and I'll send you a PM.


Luke & ~Rhiarna~ 13.05.04 & Ryan 26.03.07

Why don't you buy a little locket and just kep a few ashes, so that you will always have a part of your baby close, but then maybe you will feel more relaxed with your chosen scattering place........ Good luck and stay brave.
I am so sorry for your loss, I dont know what to say but i think if your unsure you should hold out just a little longer, i would personaly keep them my self and then always have my bubs with me but like i said that is me, you could go to a beach (if that is near) beaches are always so much fun for kids and then the kids turn in to adults and end up loving it so maybe the beach i have never seen anyone sad at a beach.

best wishes and my thoughts are with you.Nikki
my heart goes out to you and your family. nothing anyone is going to say is going to make you feel better. I lost my little girl 4yrs today and yes, it has gone so fast but i still live in a daze!!!
in answer to question about your little boys ashes. Honey, pls don't make a rushed decision. i'm four years down the track and it's now that i think, that i can function better then a year ago yet alone in your situation just a few weeks from losing him. You are going to go through alot of stages from now on so pls, keep his ashes, as you will know when you will let go..... You will never forget him and although when the time comes to let him go, it doesn't mean that you are saying good bye, it's simply saying that you are ready to say "see you later honey", and that you will....
take carexxoo
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