Huggies Forum

Huggies® Ultimate
Newborn Nappies

Learn More

Not sure how to feel Lock Rss

A few weeks ago I (perhaps stupidly seeing at is was before the 12 week mark) announced to everyone tht I was pregnant. It was a mixed reaction, but from friends and my mums group it was all pretty good. It wasn't a planned pregnancy so I did stress a little due to other family issues at home, but I was definitely happy.

My husbands reaction wasn't perfect but he is the logical one with us and he immediately thought about money, our house, our car etc. I was sure though that deep down he was happy but just trying to be practical.

Fast forward to today and I am a mess! I have had a miscarriage and I am feelimng so lost. I was so upset when the doctor confirmed my fears and he has basically told me to go home and let nature do its thing ad i have to go back in a week for another consult unless the pain gets worse or the bleeding gets heavier etc.

The first thing I thought was that I drank a LOT on NYE as I wasn't aware of my pregnancy and I czan't help but think this played a part. So I am suffering the guilts big time. I have told my immediate family and a few friends and most ave been supportive but sadly they seem to have the issue of "oh well it's not like it was planned and I am sure you can try again when it's right". Jut because my baby asn't planned doesn't mean that it was any less loved or special or wanted by me. So on top of the guilt there is a huge amount of anger!

I know I am probably not making any sense but I am just so hurt right now and don't know how to deal with it all. I have skipped my mums group as there are two pregnant mums in the group and although i love them t bits and am so happy for them and their pregancies, I am just worried how I am going to deal with it seeing other pregnant women. I haven't told the about my loss yet as I am so afraid they will give me a negative reaction like everyone else and honestly I don't think I will cope if that happens.

I am hoping someone has some advice for me, even if I am not making perfect sense right now.

Sorry for the essay


Mummy to one big little man!!

hey hun im sorry to hear about your loss. its a hard thing to deal with i have not had a m/c but i lost my baby at 33 weeks and know how you feel angrey scared lost ect.. i hate when people say to much when i lost my son people keeped saying to me it would have been a lot harder if he was born first than past or its better that you did not have him at the 33 weeks coz he him of have promlbes or the best on of all i hate is It happened for a reason. i hate hearing that shit poeple sould just say sorry and leave it at that. i found what helped me was to talk about it. and yeah dont feel bad about not going to mum's group as when we had our antienatal group meeting after you have the bubs i went to see the girls it was hard for me to turn up but i did but after going that one time seeing them with there babies and i did not have one i never went back i found it to hard to see all the bubs growing up and to know samual (my son)is ment to be there i could just not do it anymore. But if you ever need to talk or get something off your cheast Im me i will always listen take care xx


I'm only just reading this now and I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this. Your post absolutely made sense, hit home with everything I felt when I had my miscarriage. I'm going to e-mail you on facebook when the kids go to bed and I have some peace and quiet.

Big Big Hugs,
Sign in to follow this topic