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  5. If it happend for a reason - what was the reason?

If it happend for a reason - what was the reason? Lock Rss

Hello beautiful people

What a horrible week it was last week. I don't even think I can remember a time I was so heartbroken and sad. Have you ever noticed when things are going so well in your life, its only a matter of time before you start questioning when something will go wrong??
For me, right from the start when everything was going so well in the back of my mind i knew something was wrong, but, having not wanting to be stressing myself out I carried on as usual.
I got engaged, then we found out we were pregnant and then moved into our amazing new house. Sitting on the couch cuddled up next to my fiance, the sweetheart that he is rubbing my back and watching tv i thought - "wow, my life is finally going the way it should after so many years of being with the wrong man, the wrong people the wrong life.... Finally Im happy, no im more than happy I am thrilled to be alive."
This only lasted a couple of days before everything and I mean eveything turned to - well, crap.
I lost our baby, and then everything started to go wrong, my fiance was being distant and cold, my parents were being weird, my friends had not wanted to talk and I spent the week crying and feeling iscolated.
Why Us? I asked myself everynight before I went to bed, and usually before I go to bed I prey and thank god for everything in my life. The nights I went to bed I didn't prey. I was angry at god. sad

This morning was a start of a new week , I woke up feeling no longer in denial and realised I was no longer pregnant, I was no longer having a baby due in February and I tried not to picture how that little boy or girl would have been. Instead I packed away all my pregnancy books and pregnancy magazines, everything that reminded me of that and put it away in the "baby's" room we have now. I looked around at the empty space in the small bedroom and wondered when our beautiful angel would be joining us.

Back to square one again. Back to charting, back to that dreaded long ttw, and back to thinking everything is a pregnancy sign when its actually pms. This morning before my fiance went to work I had this sudden erge to kiss and hold him and make love - I didnt say anything though, I rolled around and went to sleep.

Finally when I went to the toilet this morning - the bleeding had stopped!! I was so happy as I was bleeding heavily for a week (needed to go to the hospital 3 times.)

So tonight, I am going to make love to my fiance. Not for the Sake of concieving but simply because I love him. And sometimes thats all you need - love.

I realised throughout this experience that you can't plan too far ahead or get your hopes up. Life is very unexpected - love what you have now.

So much love to all.

xxxx

Nina
Wow.. brought tears to my eyes! I just wanted to give u a GBH and wish u the best for TTC. smile ur a strong woman by the sounds of it, and Im sure you'll have a lil miricle running around soon wub TC!!

Wow.. brought tears to my eyes! I just wanted to give u a GBH and wish u the best for TTC. smile ur a strong woman by the sounds of it, and Im sure you'll have a lil miricle running around soon wub TC!!



Thankyou sweetheart it means alot to me. Yes, I am certainly strong and I know we will be able to concieve again soon but I'm terrified of losing it......However I'm keeping positive smile

xxxx
So sorry for your loss i know people may be saying it will happen when it happens but its true all good things always happen when you don't see them coming, you sound like your going to be a great mum when that day comes.Don't give up and stay postive and am sure your other half just seems cold and distant from you as he is feeling the impact of the loss too and you know what men are like they hate showing their true feelings and maybe his scared if he shows you it may make you feel more upset and thats his way of dealing with it, i wish you nothing but luck and know that your little angel is up there now looking out for you now.

So sorry for your loss i know people may be saying it will happen when it happens but its true all good things always happen when you don't see them coming, you sound like your going to be a great mum when that day comes.Don't give up and stay postive and am sure your other half just seems cold and distant from you as he is feeling the impact of the loss too and you know what men are like they hate showing their true feelings and maybe his scared if he shows you it may make you feel more upset and thats his way of dealing with it, i wish you nothing but luck and know that your little angel is up there now looking out for you now.



That was very kind of you, and made me feel so much better so thanku so much!!
xxxx
Hey Nina,

I just wanted to say that I have been thinking about you. I hope that your new TTC jounrey isn't long and that you fall soon. Wishing you all the luck in the world. I'm sending you truck loads and truck loads of baby dust.

xoxo







That was such a lovely post Nina! You are such a positive person! I really hope you are soon blessed with a beautiful little bundle of joy, you have so much love to give and your future baby will be so lucky to have a mummy like you.

I hope that your TTC journey is a short one and you have some good news soon! Let's send each other lots of baby dust! grin

Have a great week xxx

tried to message u but it would let me <img src='https://www.huggies.com.au/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' />
But here is what i wrote:

I just wanted to message you, Ive lost 3 beautiful baby's,
all at 11 weeks, seems God was mocking me well thats what i thought at the time.

I now have 2 gorgeous sons and i can tell you that i was terrified the whole pregnancies for both... BUT i managed it, and i promise that you will too, time will heal the heartache, buy a teddy or something special to remember the lost baby, i have 3 teddy's that represent each bub and when im thinking of them i give the bear a cuddle.. some think that is weird, but i loved them even if they weren't meant to be.

I hope something i have said helps xo
oh nina, i am so impressed by your courage and obviously your love for your fiance, i have to say i have been following your journey and enjoy your posts, i feel like i live right next door to you!!! smile we are on this crazy journey (again) of TTC#3 after losing #2 to SIDS @10 weeks old. We too are terrified but of when baby is born, i think every mother (who is or to be) is scared about something with baby, woman are very strong BUT sometimes men need to just be cuddled and pampered, doesnt make a lot of sense i know, but i think they are so scared of telling you how they are truly feeling for fear of thinking you cant handle it. BIG hugsXXOOO and enjoy the experience, smile
Nina,

This has bought tears to my eyes. I wish u all the best for the future. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It has really made me understand things more. I haven't been in the same situation as you, but i feel for you. I'm trying to conceive with my Fiance have been since Nov 2010.

Best of luck.

xx
Nina you are a beautiful and strong person. I don't understand how and why horrible things happen to such lovely people, but I believe that sometimes difficult events can help make us better people. I really really hope that things go smoothly for you next time (and I am sure there will be a next time!), and that you get your BFP soon.
Nina,

That was very beautiful and I need to thank you for brightening up my day smile This year has been a terrible one for me too. My partner and I started ttc number 2 in March. We got pregnant first try but I miscarried 5 weeks later. I was then pregnant again in May and again four weeks later miscarried. This month i found out I was pregnant and this time it was ectopic and resulted in the removal of my right fallopian tube.

I too lay in bed at night angry at God. I ask how all of this could possibly have happened. What have I done to deserve this. Then i feel guilty knowing that I am so lucky to have my son when there are others that cannot even have that. All my friends are now having or pregnant with their second child and I cry wishing for that to be me. I am still yet to understand a purpose for my pain and losses but you have helped me get that little bit closer.

Goodluck and i know you will get that beautiful baby you so truly deserve smile xoxox
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