This is the first time I have posted on this site, but your message struck a chord with me. On the 5th March last year I lost our first baby girl at a day before 20 weeks. I had been unwell during the pregnancy and had tried not to get too attached but was amazed at how much I loved my wee baby even though she had never seen the light of day. Going through the birth is undoubtably one of the hardest things I think anyone could go through - I relived it often in the following months. Time has helped to heal the loss of our little baby but the grief still catches me at random times and puts me to tears. I am now 21 weeks pregnant and all seems to be going ok but the last week has been especially difficult as I'm reminded that our wee Sienna never got this far.
No-one but those who have been through the loss of a child could understand the enormous grief that you'll be feeling right now. I tried to take to heart what we learned through losing Sienna - that you can never take life for granted, and to take time out to appreciate the smaller things in life - the things that count, not the day to day drudgery that can consume us.
My heart goes out to you, please take care.
"Sometimes, when the sun goes down, it seems it will never rise again... but it will.
Sometimes, when you feel alone, it seems your heart will break in two... but it won't.
And sometimes, it seems hardly worthwhile carrying on... but it is.
For sometimes, when the sun goes down,
It seems it will never rise again,
But it does."
- Frank Brown.
Thanks for taking the time to post for me. I am so sorry for your loss too! It must have been really hard losing Sienna just before 20 weeks, I think in some ways I was lucky to be able to have Shelby's funeral and apply for her birth certificate although the funeral was one of the most difficult days of my life.
Nothing can prepare you for the sight of that tiny white coffin with pink ribbons being lowered into the ground, I thought I would be broken forever.
As everyone says though, the pain does lessen with time. I still cry for Shelby every day but I can keep things together enough to not let it interfere with my daily routine and caring for DD.
You're right, it is a pain only another woman who has lost a baby can understand but the thoughts and kind words of everyone else have been so wonderful, I do feel loved!
Take care and good luck for the rest of your pregnancy, you deserve much happiness!