Home birth - Public Perception

Hi ladies! I'm new to the forum.

For those of you who planned a home birth, did you encounter a lot of negativity and how did you get past it? I've only told two friends - one of whom was over the moon for me and the other was shocked and appalled.

I wish I could say that I wasn't affected by the latter but it has made me feel nervous about sharing what was meant to be happy news with family and friends in the future. I strongly feel that having a support system if anything for emotional health, is important when it comes to a drug-free birth. Would I be better off keeping this to myself the rest of the way? Just to close the doors on any unnecessary negativity which unfortunately affects me quite badly.

I chose a home birth after months of thorough research and believe that it is the safest option for my baby if I am having a low risk pregnancy. I am surprised that not everyone feels this way. I guess the general perception is that we should remain in the hospital even if we want a drug-free birth. But I don't want to be in a hospital, in labour and having to fend off intervention after intervention and being pressured or frightened into having unnecessary drugs that are potentially harmful to baby. Neither do I want to go through explaining this to someone who knows nothing about home births (or even a natural birth really), yet is convinced it's dangerous.

I haven't had a home birth however I think you'll find no matter what decision you make about labour, birth, babies, breastfeeding, sleeping, feeding etc everyone will have an opinion. I find it's often useful to listen to peoples advice but to know it's ok not to follow everything people says (as an example I have difficulty with getting my toddler to sleep and I get advice on leave him alone to cry, sleep in bed with him, breastfeed him more during the day, wean him, pretty much any advice and a lot of it is contradicting). Unfortunately when you have a baby you're going to have to get used to hearing unwelcomed comments about your parenting choices. That said people do it with the best of intentions as they're excited for you and wanting to pass on their own knowledge and experiences.

Having said all that... now to pass on my potentially unwelcomed advice wink have you looked at birth centres? I was low risk and wanted the home birth experience with no unnecessary intervention etc however I live somewhere where there's no midwives who will do home births (and I knew I wanted the help of a midwife as it was so far out of my husbands comfort zone that he wouldn't have been much help!). I went to a birth centre which was set up like a home with a big double bed, a spa bath, soft lights, etc and they had a no intervention model (ie warm water, massage etc for pain relief) which was exactly what I was after. I found the birth centre a wonderful compromise between a home birth and a hospital birth and gave me the peace of mind that if something went wrong then there were doctors nearby. I won't tell you my birth story as I don't think its useful to hear about lots of complications when you're pregnant but I did end up requiring medical help and I was glad I wasn't at home calling for an ambulance.

Hi - your advice was well-received thank you!

That is a good way of looking at it, that there will be more advice on its way and most of it comes with good intentions. I'll remember that.

I have looked at birth centres, that was the first place I looked - King Edward's Family Birthing Centre. I agree that it would be the best compromise however I took into account that they are booked up fast and have stringent (and necessary) requirements. I suppose a home birth is my back up plan if I am low risk and yet not able to get a place at the birthing centre.

That said in terms of labour, I do feel like I would be a lot more comfortable in my own home which I've read, is a big help during labour. As for needing a transfer, the nearest hospital with a birthing facility is only ten minutes away and I've heard that transfers go quite smoothly here. Plus if all goes well we don't have to worry about moving around too soon after the birth to get home. I'm still weighing the pros and cons. I still do wonder if the intervention rates at private hospitals are as bad as it sounds. Even so, the thought of needing to fend off interventions and being scared into any of it is a real put off.

Decisions, decisions! I wouldn't mind reading your birth story smile I've been reading good stories and others as there is something to learn from every birth. Have definitely noted your advice on maybe needing quick medical help when the time comes - another factor to consider.

Hi there. Don't feel you shouldn't share your decision people just because of what they may say, its your choice after all. I have heard of birthing centres but where I am in NZ I haven't found any. I have so far had three amazing homebirth and planning a fourth but I always say to people you are best of to have your baby where you feel most comfortable to do it. Like you said feeling safe and comfortable in your environment is very important to a great birth. With my last birth I was able to have my then 4 year old daughter present as well and I got a lot of back lash from people that didn't know me concerned about scarring her mind. My daughter was absolutely amazed and not scarred in the least. My point being, when you make a decision your comfortable with stick with it and enjoy the process. Birth, after all is the most amazing experience you'll ever go through.

Thank you mum2all. That's amazing that you've had water births for all your children.

I was happy with my choice and felt that it is the best one for me and my baby. I didn't expect to feel as badly as I did when I heard the first criticism. Comments like.. "When something happens you will regret it."

I started not to feel as good about my decision in case something DID happen though I know the chances of that happening without warning is below a 1%. I probably have to learn to deal with negativity a little more gracefully.

Thank you again for sharing your experience. Reinforced my decision!

Hello lady. My birth story is what it is. This is my own unique experience, and every woman will have her own. This should not be prescriptive. I just want to share my experience of expanding opportunities for families who can consider natural childbirth and possibly home birth. As often happens, our experience was not everything that we planned. However, this was reliable and unexpected. We felt that we were under control and well informed about what was happening throughout the process. Before giving birth, I went home. We watched several videos of some very calm, relaxed women, delivering their children with complete ease! This somewhat embarrassed me, because I thought that my partner could expect me to be like that! He certainly assured me that he does not have such expectations, but I was still thinking about these quiet women at heart. I'm all for positive thinking, but for some reason I did not think that my story about birth in the family would be so calm!
You will never know exactly what the course of events will be for birth. However, you can clearly indicate your wishes regarding the various scenarios that may occur.
I listened to a CD with hypnosis. However, I still felt every physical pain that comes with pushing a person out of the body.
I must share it to help other families take an active part in making decisions that lead to the birth of their child. It should not scare you, but simply tell the story of life in real life. Last week the child seemed to sit right on my bladder. The subsequent leakage of urine made me worry.
I definitely thought that it would be so, and at least I can distinguish between different fights. Not so much. I remember calling 45 minutes later to find out how the pool is going to just to understand that I did not let you know how much I needed! I was very annoyed with this, because personally I could not determine where I was staying and began, since he could know? The pain was constant, so I do not know how he deciphered one cut of the other. The midwife said that this last part was the most difficult, but I did not think so. Yes, it was intense, I made more noise than before, and it seemed to me that I was divided in half. But that this intense pain in the abdomen is gone, and to concentrate their efforts elsewhere, it was magical.
 The midwife advised me to push when I felt that I needed, and the next part seemed to happen super fast. It was the most impressive feeling that with every contraction our child moved on and was soon born.

bella I am sorry for your loss. You have faced many hardships and difficulties. After knowing that you have made this conclusion. As you are asking as a general percept then I would like to share my views too. home birth is not safe now a day. In the era of information and technology, no one satisfied with home birth care. Pregnant women need extra care. They need emergency dose in any case. So don’t take the risk.