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so sick of ppl Lock Rss

saying that c/s is the easy way out!!! and everyone that I know who has said it hasn't had a friggin c/s so how the fluck would they know.

sorry, vent over....
I agree with you on this one.

I have had to have 3 c-sections and i can tell you they weren't that easy and much harder to recover when you have other children to look after.
Speaking as someone who hasn't ever had a c-section I think the "easy" comments are more in reference to the fact that you have a specific time and a date that baby will arrive and that compared to the usual way it is easy. Well that's my personal interpretation anyway. LOL

I don't for one minute think that having major abdominal surgery, elective or otherwise, is easy; anything but in fact which is why I don't understand why anyone would choose to have one......but that's something else entirely. LOL

Christina


Christina - A friend of mine was telling me how her SIL had an elective c/s just because she wanted to and that she was just f-ing lazy for taking the easy way out.

Now I don't entirely agree with someone having a c/s just because they want to, but we don't know the reasons behind her having the c/s. Some ppl have an immense fear of child birth so would rather have the c/s. They may think it is the easy way out and with that I don't agree to them having it.

But by my friend saying it is the easy way out when it is far from the truth just really annoys the hell out of me. Yeah her SIL might be lazy, but I don't think it fair that she can say a c/s is the easy way out when she has no idea. And yes when she said "easy way out" she was making reference to not having to go through a vaginal delivery.

I'd much rather have a vaginal delivery for any more children i may have, but that is not possible. so for someone to make such comments is very hurtful.
Wicki,

Fair enough, but when I am "insensitive" enough to say it out loud, and I'm sure I have only thought it, I only mean from the planning perspective not the actual recovery and stuff as I so think it's not easy and I've never even been through it. Give me a straight forward vaginal birth any day of the week. LOL

Personally I don't think either way is all that easy, in that it is hard work no matter which way they come into the world, but I think that sometimes we (me included) forget that all that matters in the end is that they arrive safely and healthy and "easy" or not we should remember that our birth experiences aren't all the same, we don't parent the same and sometimes no matter how much we plan things to go the way we want, things don't always go to plan.

I am very opinionated, and you only have to look at my post history to see that, but I think I am getting better at tempering my responses when it is called for...but I am still a work in progress.

Sometimes we all just need a good vent and affirmation that we feel how we feel and that's okay. It's okay to feel angry that she thinks you had it "easy", and frustration and sadness that a vaginal birth isn't something you will ever get to experience (and some women who have had them think you're the "lucky" one)but it doesn't make you any less of a woman or a mother because circumstances sent you down a path you probably weren't expecting.

So that's probably not helped............but sometime I like to say things even if they don't make a lot of sense at the time. LOL

Christina


I understand what you are tryign to say, but the fact is I have had both vaginal and c/s births. I know what they are both like for me personally and I would much rather go through the vaginal. I don't feel like less of a mother because of the c/s. Thank Christ I did have it, DS and I'd be dead if I didn't have it.

My vaginal birth was not an easy one either. 19 hours of contractions 2 minutes apart - yes for the full 19 hours. I didn't even start dilating til 6 hours into the contractions. That was the longest and hardest day of my life. But in comparison to the weeks being stiff and sore, being restricted to lifting and sports even months after the c/s, random pains that come and go, now also being scarred for life by the trauma of it all (it was emergency situation) and the physical aspect (I had a vertical incision - classic c/s - due to ds being so tiny) I don't think it comes even close to a day of pain.

Either way I have 2 beautiful boys both brought into the world in different ways. I don't feel the same attachment to ds2 as i did with ds1 and I sometimes wonder if it was partly to do with the c/s, and everything else that came along with that. It was a traumatic time for us all I suppose which is maybe why I look at it differently to other women. However I have not yet met a woman who has had c/s and vaginal birth and said she would prefer a c/s.

Unfortunatley for me the choice has been made by a higher power and I have to have a c/s next time around. I'm prepared for that now. But in regards to the "planning" side of things. Yes some women can have the date set, but that's not concrete. If anything happens due to complications then that date is thrown out the window.

I had placenta previa and the baby had severe IUGR. I was told at 25 weeks that my baby would die. I was also told that a c/s would put me at risk of losing my uterus because of the classic c/s having more risk. At this point I was then told that when my baby died they would want to leave it in my womb for 2 weeks so the placenta would shrivel up and I could give birth vaginally. The thought of losing my baby was hard enough, but having to give birth to it vaginally weeks after it died and the possibility I would never be able to have any more kids was far from easy.

I'm not trying to make this a debate and I don't think you could understand fully unless you were in the same situation. I agree that some women do have c/s's for the wrong reasons, but like you said - at the end of the day why does it matter how the baby came into the world? So why do ppl have to make unnecessary comments about something they know nothing about.

The thing that hurts me the most is that my friend knows exactly what I went through yet she still makes these remarks. Sometimes I just want to punch her in the face. Sometimes I almost wish she would go through what I did to see that it's not all fairies and butterflies. But I couldn't wish that upon anybody.
Posted by: wicki
I understand what you are tryign to say, but the fact is I have had both vaginal and c/s births.


Ahhh, see there was me making assumptions again. LOL

I'm not up for a debate either, sometimes just getting it all out, whatever your position can hopefully bring a bit of insight into the situation; but as you said, I guess unless you've been there you can never fully understand.

Sometimes people say hurtful things, intentionally or otherwise and it can be hard to cope with, especially if it is all still fresh in your mind and having a traumatic situation like that isn't something you can just "get over" in a short space of time I imagine. No comparison here really, but my father died just over 10 years ago and to this day I have moments where it feels like it was only yesterday and I wonder if I'll ever truly get over it. We were extremely close and it hurt alot and I have days where I just sit and cry for hours because life feels so empty now with him gone..........but at the same time I wonder if my life would be the same had things turned out differently then; would I have chosen the same paths, met the same people or would have fate sent me off in an entirely different direction?

Sometimes I think we all need lessons in sensitivity, but that's me. LOL


Posted by: Jamesmum2003

Sometimes I think we all need lessons in sensitivity, but that's me. LOL


my friend does for sure!

I try not to get worked up about it but am finding that really hard at the moment. DS2 screams ALLLLLLL the time and DS1 is starting the terrible twos early so I'm at the end of my tether anyway.
I'm with you. I know people who want a c/s because they think it would be easy and they don't like the fact a baby will come out of their vagina....go figure.

I too have had both. My first was a 6hr labour and I was blessed with it being perfect. I went home the next day.

My second I was booked in for c/s as my son had IUGR, had a placenta abruption and was rushed in for an emergency. Was bruised and battered and tried my hardest every moment to get up to walk to the SCN. It was the hardest moment of my life being so far away and not being able to walk to my baby.

Now saying that everyone is for their own opinions but I just don't think people should be naive (sp.) at the facts of abdominal surgery.

I've had both and i can tell you now, there is NO easy way out... they both hurt!!! lol
Its such an annoying comment. I dont know many mums with caesareans going around saying to natural mums oh you had it so easy!!
No one had it easy. Thats the simple fact. It doesnt make it easier knowing when you're booked in, in fact, it can feed your anxiety.
Personally, ive always wanted to get contractions unexpectedly and get to have the spontaniety (sp) that natural mums get to experience.
People who say the actual birth is easier and wrong too. Being naked except for a gown, getting a big needle in your bag, one in your arm, cap on your head, lying down into a bright light, feeling people pushing and tugging is not something I find easy to deal with.
Its an insensitive comment and I'm over it!
hehe theres my rant for the day.

I have 3 boys!!!

Hey i can' say much from experience as i've only had C sec and haven't had a natural birth.
I wouldn't say any birth was 'easier' than the other..The only thing easier about a natural birth is the recovery time.
For me personally knowing when the baby was going to come, gave me anxiety as it gave me more time to sit and brood on it.

I really didn't want a C sec, but i also know those mummies who have a natural bith have a very painful time also... But i know where the poster is coming from as i've had people say to me that 'you got to have your baby the easy way.' And it annoys me too!
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