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  5. Intruding Visitors after C-section.

Intruding Visitors after C-section. Lock Rss

You tell the people at the reception, your midwifes and write a birth plan.

State that in NO circumstances is ANYBODY to hold your baby without direct consent from you!

Give them your MIL's name as soon as you are admitted. Tell them what you told us.

The midwife I had kicked everyone out of my room for me to rest. They are good like that, they don't give a crap what anyone thinks of them they will do the best for your baby.
I agree with the prev post. Tell every nurse/midwife about what your MIL intends to do and they will tell her where to go. My best friend is a midwife and she tells people where to go all the time. They understand about these pushy people. I can't believe she said she'd fight you for first hold! Is she right in the head? Seriously?
With my first, i was having a rough time, natural delivery, and she just turned up and asked to be let in the room. I just screamed "No Way!" and the midwife rushed out and told her to leave. She left - and went all the way back home!
Definitely do what has been suggested, tell anyone and everyone she is not to hold YOUR baby until YOU say so.
Good Luck!
Oh dear, what a horrible MIL! How could she possibly think she should be the first one to hold YOUR new baby. What does your partner think about what she has said? Can he tell her what your wishes are?

In my c-sec experience, only theatre staff, midwifes and DH were in the theatre. DH was right there with DS while there checked him over, then they put DS straight on my chest so I could look at him. He was then wrapped up and DH held him right beside me while I was stitched up. We all went to recovery together - DS was with me and DH the whole time.

I would just let the hospital know that you don't want visitors. I really don't think they would hand over a brand new baby to someone who wasn't a parent. I think security would be a lot tighter than it was all those years ago.

Be strong, keep telling her how important it is for you to have that bonding time. Good luck!

i would not tell anyone what room i was in, then leave STRICT instructions with reception not to give the details of your room out until whatever time you are happy to have visitors (so maybe the afternoon visiting time).

maybe you could tell everyone that the time of the c-section has been changed due to an emergency and that you will ring them once you have been taken in.

when i was booked for my c-section we didn't tell everyone the date, we still wanted to be able to have the announcement of DS2's birth like a surprise for everyone. we told my parents, my sister, and the in laws but that was it. although FIL couldn't keep his mouth shut and told DH's cousin and his GF a few days before when we were all there having dinner.

no one was at the hospital until night time, we didn't end up ringing anyone until DS2 was about 2 hours old because DH was quite sick with a migraine and we needed a bit of quiet time for him to recover!!! lol don't worry about me who had just had surgery hehe

i didnt have a ceasar but when i had dd my MIL was the same as yours, tld me as son as i have the baby they were coming to stay for 2 weeks. i said n ur not and after i come home from hospital im staying at my mums not at home cos after i had ds i was very sick for a few weeks and i was worried i would be the same. my mum also looked after ds who was 16months at the time as dp doesnt hear anything once he was asleep and i didnt want ds screaming his head off and dp sleeping thru it.

anyway mil and fil ended up coming down the day i had dd and staying for a week at our place with dp i was in hspital for 6days after having her and went home to my mums for 2 nights. and went home when my mil had left. they came back when dd was 3weeks old and stayed for a few days. its horrible cos dd is 2and a half yrs old now adn mil adn fil come to stay every 3 weeks for a week. i cant say anything to dp cos he thinks the sun shines outta their bums.

i agree with others stand up to her make sure u get what u want from the start, cos its much harder to say no once they have already done it.

the hospital should have a duty of care not to allow random people to hold your baby esp if u havent held bub yet. when i had ds they even kept dp out of the room (he isnt ds father and we had only been seeing eachother for 5 weeks so i didnt expect/want him there)

the hospitals should be pretty strict with this anyway, when i had dd i wasnt even allowed to carry her around the maternity ward as they had a rule about it, in ccase of abduction!
I had an emergency c section with a general anesthetic (knocked out) my partner was not allowed into the operating theatre (due to use of general anesthetic & the hospitals policy) a soon as ds was born he was taken out to dp & they were both led into the recovery room to sit & wait with me untill i woke up (about half an hour later) my mum was also in recovery with dp & ds as she was in the labour room with me, dp waited until i was awake & had fed ds to ask me if mil could come in for a minute. My advice would be to ask ur dr/midwife what the situation would be if u did need a c section ie: hospitals policy, what she/he would allow & every other detail u may be worried about, then write a birth plan that details all of the things u may be worried about & how u would want them handled, get ur doctor & any midwives at the birth to go over this both before & during labour, then i would sit down & have ur dh go over the birthplan with u, & make sure u stress to him how important it is to u that u & him are to be the only people with the baby until u both feel ready for visitors & that u will be relying on him to help enforce this. At the end of the day the hospital will not allow visitors if u arent awake to consent, & to my knowledge they will not allow them into the recovery room unless YOU request it, so they would have to wait until u are in ur room anyway, especially if u make a point of telling hospital staff not to let them in until a certain time, in my experience midwives arent out to keep the grandparents happy, they will always do whats best for u & bub.
Do you know if your planned CS is via general anaesthetic or epidural?

First things first:

- You and your hubby to tell your MIL that although you will be taken to hossy in the morning, your OB has said to you that your CS may be pushed back until later in the day! One of you will call her to advise when to come to the hospital.
- Tell every single nurse and doctor that you come into contact with of your wishes regarding visitors and holding the baby! Write it down and ask that it be put in your file - make sure it is on bright coloured paper in BIG letters!
- During visiting hours if you do NOT wish to have visitors TELL the staff!! - I would recommend this if you think you may be unwell or separated from the baby.

If it is via epidural you will be able to hold baby either immediately or during recovery...if not sooner! Your hubby will be able to hold bubs as soon as bubs is cleaned (unless they allow him sooner!).

If bubs needs to go to the nursery (at my hossy they did not go there, but were next to your bed as hubby will be with you), just make sure you tell every single nurse you see that the baby is only to be held by hubby until you are able to do so!
i am not sure if you are booked for a c secion or what..... but what we did was we said baby wasn' to go anywhere unless he needed the nicu.... they don't need to put them in a nursery at all.... JUST SAY NO!
my baby was held by his dad who held him across my chest when i was being stitched up.... and when i couldn't he held him on for me and had him tucked inside the scrubs smile

there is no need for your baby to go anywhere but with you ..... or your husband.....

when i got into my room i somehow lost my gown and was naked in the bed wih just sheets.... i didn't care.... my hubby put a nappy on him and we tucked him onto my chest and there he stayed for two days..... basically.... my husband did i while i was having a shower and went toilet the next day no one asked to hold him no one did hold him until we got to the burthing unit in my home town two days ater......

then my mum had cuddles but they didn't come down to see him because they were looking after our other two children....
My little one is 2 and a half now, and we ended up having an emergency c-section. Definitely stand up for yourself and your new family NOW.
Make sure you hubby is 110% behind you. Has he told his mum she's not to hold the baby until you both say so?
If not, he really needs to do it.
Also, the hospital is there for you and your baby. They're not going to let her hold your baby unless you or your husband say so. Talk to your hospital, maternity and delivery wards before you go into hospital to let them know your concerns. I'm sure they'll tell you there's nothing to worry about. There is no way they will let anyone other than you and your hubby have access to your baby (apart from nursing staff). In the private hospital we were in, no-one could even go and get a baby from the nursery unless they had the special identification card for that baby which was given to me - so I had to give it to my hubby for him to be able to go and get bub from the nursery.
Things have changed alot since your MIL had kids, and I think she might be in for a bit of a shock. It's all about the mum and bub it should be. And if she does go completely nuts and swear at staff, she might find she gets to hold the arm of the security guard before she gets to hold your child.
When I had a C-section my DF was there the whole time and he held DS for 1.5hrs while they stitched me up. He was put on my chest after they checked him and wrapped hip up and then DS held him until I was in my room.

There was no way that they would let anyone be there unless I had put in a special request prior to delivery!

You cannot just walk into this maternity ward. You have to press a buzzer and explain yourself before they will open the door to let you in or out!!!
This was in a public hospital!!! I'm a high risk patient so it's safer to be in a public hospital. (Which really sh*ts me because we pay for private health insurance.)

As PP have said let them know what you want prior to delivery.

We didn't tell DF's family when my C-Section was as we learnt after DD's birth. They just kept calling all day wanting to know what was happening (I was induced)

When my sister had her DS2 I was the only one who knew as I was looking after her DS1. Appart from my DF and her DH, noboby knew until late that afternoon and it was a morning delivery!

i have had 2 c-secs and have been the first to hold my baby both times in the recovery ward they didn't even give her to her father to hold. You can state that you don't want visitors at the hospital (i told them i didn't want visitors except my own children until the next day) until further notice and they will not let people in cause all visitors have to be anounced anyway. Good luck with it all and i hope your MIL doesn't ruin it for you.
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