Huggies Forum

Huggies® Ultimate
Newborn Nappies

Learn More

The safest option Lock Rss

I had pre-eclampsia with my first baby at 34 weeks which came on very suddenly. Only a few days after my baby shower. And with a half hour notice before having to go in for an emergency caesar. The next 3 days spent in IC without my baby (she was in special care)- I did have a 5 minute visit from her.

My second baby was an elective caesar at the same hospital. No complications this time.

Why is it that I feel I have to explain why I had caesars? I didn't have a choice about my birthing experience - it was the safest option that I was given. And at the end of day that's all that matters.
Firstly I'm glad that both your babies arrived safely.

Ive had a c/s for a breech baby & then a VBAC so I know what it likes when you say you've had a cs and the reaction that you get. The reaction I get that I've had a VBAC is interesting too!

Unless you've had a cs for a 'medical reason' which most ppl do then I see nothing wrong with having a repeat cs. I just don't understand why you'd choose to have one for no reason when you consider the recovery etc. I think though from my experience people think you've 'missed out' by having a cs when most of us who have had one don't really think that as we're just happy that we got what we wanted the whole time - a healthy and safely delivered baby smile
Nobody can tell you why you feel you have to explain your reason for ceaserians. What we can tell you is that when people have major surgery, the next question that comes with that is why?
They aren't asking to criticise or judge, simply to take the conversation further and quelch their own curiosity and perhaps give you a chance to continue discussing it of you want. (some people love telling others the gory details!)

Perhaps you feeling you have to explain it, is to do with your own issues about it. You don't have to explain it even if people ask. Same as if someone goes in for heart surgery, or an endoscopy or their birth story.

Hope you find a good way to respond!
I must admit I am one of those that want to know everything! I'm a terror with any operation. My main query I guess is why anyone would choose (particularly if they've never tried a vaginal birth) to be cut open, while awake, and have someone's hands in their insides. I want to know how it felt. Also as I'm having #3 and have my placenta slightly over my cervix, this could be a real option for me and the thought horrifies me! I'm hoping it moves, but nothing I can do about that. I guess I'm not judging just too inquisitive. Maybe just assume everyones like me and too silly to get the hint it's making you uncomfortable... Don't feel bad about it. When our kids start going to school, and a few more years after that, no-one asks in-depth birth, BF, poop habits, sleep questions. It won't be an issue. You'll have to deal with teenagers smile
smile Yes both girls are healthy and lovely. I recovered well after both - thanks I think to years of yoga.
Good luck with your third. Just make sure that you don't push yourself too much when you get out of hospital - enjoy the rest time.

I had pre-eclampsia with my first baby at 34 weeks which came on very suddenly. Only a few days after my baby shower. And with a half hour notice before having to go in for an emergency caesar. The next 3 days spent in IC without my baby (she was in special care)- I did have a 5 minute visit from her.

My second baby was an elective caesar at the same hospital. No complications this time.

Why is it that I feel I have to explain why I had caesars? I didn't have a choice about my birthing experience - it was the safest option that I was given. And at the end of day that's all that matters.



Maybe you could reply with "Why did you have a natural birth?"
My story is I had first one because DS was breech, second an emergency one after trying for VBAC and third was elective. Now that I've had all three of my children I don't feel I missed out on anything by not having them vaginally. I have 3 health, happy children and that's all that matters. I only go into detail when someone asks, because all three of my c-sections had parts during the c-section and recovery that was quite traumatic. Pain is all forgotten now, because it was worth it.

I had pre-eclampsia with my first baby at 34 weeks which came on very suddenly. Only a few days after my baby shower. And with a half hour notice before having to go in for an emergency caesar. The next 3 days spent in IC without my baby (she was in special care)- I did have a 5 minute visit from her.
My second baby was an elective caesar at the same hospital. No complications this time.
Why is it that I feel I have to explain why I had caesars? I didn't have a choice about my birthing experience - it was the safest option that I was given. And at the end of day that's all that matters.

I think this is only a question you can answer for yourself. I suspect when people feel the need to explain themselves to others it says to me that despite what they say they may not actually feel confident that they made the right decision or are happy with the overall experience. People have probably been telling you "at least your babies were born safely"?? That's all any mother wants so is really an unhelpful statement, but being upset or angry over your birth experience does not mean you are not grateful for healthy and live children, you can be both.
I'm a little confused by you last statement though, you say you had no choice about your birthing experience and yet you had and elective for your second??
I do understand where you are coming from about the constant justification that is asked of you in social settings. Having your birth questioned...Did you really need one? Where you too posh to push? You should have done x, y or z so you didn't have to have one...people who are not qualified professionals passing judgement on your decision and comments like You did it the easy way...

It gets frustrating, because no matter how you feel about the decision to have a c-section the contant questions and judgement that come with it can get you down. For me the hurt comes from deperately wanting a natural birth but having 3 "failed attempts" (don't you just love medical talk!).

I found that with time you react less and the comments don't hurt as much. I don't have the answer but when someone I don't know asks me now how I had my babies, I just tell them. I focus on the total joy I felt when I realised Harry was going to be ok and the elation I felt at the subsequent births. And if they get very negative about sections without being respectful to those who have had one, I walk away. It's just not worth it.

New life and birth is precious, babies are just pure delight and loving them is a gift...no matter how they get here!
Sign in to follow this topic