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  5. do you think 20 is an acceptable age to have a child?

do you think 20 is an acceptable age to have a child? Lock Rss

Hi Ashleigh

I'm 20 & have a 6 week old baby girl and it is the best thing to ever happen to me. I believe that having children young is the way to go (provided you have a caring partner who will be there for you and wants them as much as you do), as by the time they leave home you are still young evough to do everything you want to - travel etc. Look at your grandparents and great grandparents, chances are they had their children around this age - it has only been in the past 30ish years that people have been putting it off till later.

If you feel you are ready - go for it, there will be the people out there that tell you your stupid and have ruined you life etc. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM - they are generally the ones that don't have children themselves so they are in no position to judge you anyway.

All the best.
Please dont judge me as i am only answering the question

NO i dont think 20 is an acceptable age. i am 31 and have just had my first child. and i am so much more relaxed about things now than i was when i was 20.
i realise everyone is different and some people mature faster than others. i fell pregnant when i was 19 and i'm so glad i dont have a 12yr old. athlough if i wasnt in an abusive dead end relationship i would have a 12yrt old.

the older you are the better in my opinion

DD 13/11/03 -DD 11.11.05 - DS 17.4.08

i agree with chelby to an extent, i had my first baby at 18, and while it's great that he's turning 10 in a few days, i sometimes think it would have been a little better to wait til i was older, had lived more, had done more, had travelled more etc..

on the other hand, i'm 28 now, and i've finished. by the time i'm 50 i wont have any littlies on my hands, i wont be putting teens through their paces and i'll have time to persue my dreams and enjoy the loads of grandchildren i hope to have.

being young has it advantages but being older certainly has it's own, just do what u feel is right. as for the family, if your old enough to be having children that i think your old enough to do what u and your husband feel is right, and not pay any attention to naysayers and family.


sahm to 5 midgit circus freaks

i dont think anyone can really tell u yes it is or no it isnt an acceptable age. I am 19 and 21 weeks preg, and will be 20 when bubs is born. I didnt plan to be pregnant it just happened. Ideally i would have waited but me and my fiancee couldn't be happier. There are advantages to both having a baby when your young and having a baby when your older. The decision is up to you, just do it when you feel right! All the best!

Karina, S.A, mum to Kaleb born 25/07/04

Hey there. If you feel ready to have a child and feel your partner is the right guy, then go for it. I had my first child at 20 and I have to admit that things weren't that great. If you prepare yourself for what's in store you will be fine. The hardest things for me were the fact that none of my friends had children and all enjoyed partying and so I lost a lot of friends who didn't understand what I was doing. In other words you find out who your real friends are and you meet plenty more through you child. My partner at the time did a runner and so I was left on my own. That made things harder than ever but believe me it was all worth it. Be prepared to sacrifice your social life and finances. There are heaps of pluses to having your children young. You will still be young enough to enjoy all the things you missed out on when they grow up. I don't think it reeally matters how old you are as long as you are prepared for how hard it can be sometimes and so long as you have plenty of family and friends who support you both. GOOD LUCK
I think the age is irrelevant, your readiness is more the issue, I had Neena at 22 and i couldn't wait to have a baby. I have been with my husband since the age of 15 and married for 2 years.
The hardest thing for me about havinng a baby in my early 20's was that only a couple of my friends have babies and although this might not seem like an issue, heaps of things come up that you wouldn't think of, just the fact that the baby is pretty much all you talk about and think about affects your relationships more than you can imagine.
The other main argument is people telling you to travel, some people dont even want to travel but i did some with my partner before i was 20 and the rest i plan to do in August and i nthe future, having a child doesn't have to mean you wont travel, it will just change your travel choices to include your little one.
As long as you feel ready and able to cope, have good support whether it be a partner or family/friends, you should go for it!

Sarah,VIC 18mth daughter

Hey there Ashleigh

I am currently 20 years old and due to have my first child in three weeks. Although having a child this early wasnt planned we couldnt be happier and know that we will be amazing and doting parents to our little one. We would have preferred to be in a much better position, by this I mean being married and being better financially established but these things happen and we couldnt ask to be anywhere else during this time. As long as you believe that you are both ready for this commitment and prepared to love and care for your child then this is a decision for both yourself and your partner.

If you like I am also living in South Australia so if you would like to email me or get in contact and perhaps meet up some time I would love to hear from you. My hotmail address is

Good luck and I hope to hear from you real soon.
Love Angel

SA, beautiful baby boy born 3/04/04 my life

Hi Ashleigh,
I have to agree with most of the other posts, its best when you're ready, not your family! I am 33 now and have a 15 month old son and another on the way, I wasn't ready at 20 myself, but it's different for everyone. I suspect it would have been easier physically at 20, but I wasn't ready mentally then (or financially). My husband and I now have our own home and car (which makes a big difference). We know from friends of ours that it is much harder to get on your feet financially after children than it is before, so you're doing things in the right order.
Best of luck whatever you decide.

Rachelle, NZ, son George 10.12.02, Ian 15.06.04

Hi Ashleigh,

Just read all the replies here and i have to agree that only you know when is the right time, and it does sound like you are there!

Best of luck with TTC and we all hope to hear back from you,


DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m

well i had my first when i was 19 and my 2nd at 20. they were very close.

Salwa, 2 girls, sydney

when u are ready u will know and that would be the best time. as to me i couldnt imagine hving a child that young i was 34 when had my 1st. . my mum was 19 when she had me but my sisters came 7 and then 12 years later

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

I was 20 when I had my first baby and 23 for my second, I love them so much and wouldn't change a thing.But they are 16 years and twelve years old now and I have a 7 week old son and have to admit (though you couln't of told me at the time) I am so much more patient and am relaxed and enjoying this baby so much more.I know 36 is probebly viewed as being to old by most people,but I am having the time of my life and he is a better behaved baby because of it.You still will make your own mind up and as I said I would still of had my first two early.I just thought you would like to know my view since I had my children very early and very late.Good luck with whatever decide,choosing when to have a baby is so hard,but there is really no wrong time you will love your baby whatever age you are.
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