How long a wait is too long and when is the right time?

Hey,

I've been wanting another baby very badly for a little over a year now (when my first could start walking at 9.5 months to be exact), and she is now 2, and I want her to have a sibling but I'm scared...
I don't even know if I'll be able to have more kids yet, and had an early miscarriage in Jan which threw me off a bit,
but when is the right time?

Hubby is working lots, but we are living in a 2 bedroom unit, and are still trying to get everything sorted...
So to me, having another right now would be selfish...
But I'm scared to wait much longer and am just stuck on what to think or to do...

I'm overweight so am worried cos of that too and what risks it could cause for a new bub...

hey I can understand where you are coming from. We began trying for a 2nd bub when our ds was 3 months old and then I was told I had pcos and was too overweight to conceive. We tried and tried and in August last year we got pregnant but unfortunately had an early mc. I began to doubt whether it was the right time to be trying again but we did and got a positive home test in early january I was 5 weeks. We live in a two bedroom unit as we cant afford to move to something bigger at this stage and there arent alot of rentals available in our area.
The thing is you make it work even when you doubt yourself and whether its the right time or not. I have just over 7 weeks to go and I'm doubting myself still whether its selfish or not to be having another bub when our ds is so reliant on us but then I think if not now when & he is the only young child on both sides of the family and really needs someone to grow up with. Best of luck & go with the flow =)

Thanks for replying,
I'm sorry to hear of your mc sad It's hard going through a mc, no matter how early sad

Congratulations on your pregnancy grin
7 weeks to go? That's awesome news grin I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well too grin

I think it's hard not to doubt ourselves as mothers, personally I find myself questioning if anything I do for our girl is right or not, I'm hoping the doubt is a mums thing cos we are just being careful with our children,
Are you planning to have bub in your room the first little bit? Sorry, asking as I'm just trying to work out how we would do it, we have our 1st in the same room as us for a few months and then moved her into her own room, but think if we remained here we'd have them share a room (after the first few months) until we moved,
we've not been able to get a bigger place as we are newish to renting so this is the only place that would accept out application,
It doesn't sound selfish to me, I like the idea of our girl having someone to grow up with too,
Thank you for your reply, and best of luck and best wishes to you and your little family too smile

Just thought i'd let you know... We had 2 kids and got preg with #3 while we lived in a 2 room unit- very small rooms too. My husband was studying (he had scholarship but not a lot of money) We managed pretty well-
DD was in our room for 2 mths then we moved her in with DS (who was almost 2 at the time) They managed Fine! - actually they were better in the same room.

Hey smile
Pennys2011 thanks for telling me that, it helps with my concerns about how our 2 year old would go too as after the first few months they would be sharing, thank you grin And congratulations on number 3 grin

Frenchkiwichick, thank you smile
Yeah, will definitely consult a GP first as I had troubles with my pregnancy with my girl too,
I hope yous get a good place and all goes well smile And congrats with your pregnancy smile
Um, if men could get clucky, my hubby would top them all for cluckiness, as much as I want one now he wants another just as bad lol, he thinks we will be fine, but I am a paranoid person and worry about all the little things that he doesn't really think about lol

Thank you both smile

I'm very overweight and my BMI tells me I need to lose 40........
embarrassing to say on a public forum but it's not really a secret,
I hit 'triple digits' when I was preg despite eating right, my genetics aren't the best though so I think it has something to do with that,
It would take me a fair while to lose it all too as after I had my girl I got very fitness orientated, and ate only healthy foods and didn't end up losing any weight so after a good long try I gave up,
I want to get a treadmill so I can try again,

I think when the time is right for everyone they know,
we've been putting off TTC for another for over a year now.. =(

I wish you much luck grin
15 shouldn't be too hard, but it is always hard getting into the swing of things with it though, persevere and you will do it smile
Thank you

I'm very overweight and my BMI tells me I need to lose 40........

Honey, you've seen me, my BMI puts me in the obese category and tells me to lose 20kgs.I was horrified to think I was overweight, but now I look back to pre-pregnancy and think 'Holy crow, I was tiny!' Despite weighing in at 80 kgs.
Last year in Women &gender studies, we learnt that BMI was originally created by the diet industry, then adopted by the doctors. As my lecturer said it isn't designed for Kiwi/aussie women, and it is designed to make everyone feel as though they have to lose weight. Don't put too much stock in it.
As for loosing eight to conceive and feel better about yourself, just go easy on it, and don't put too much pressure on yourself, it only makes it harder.

Thanks thetinyone smile
My BMI said I was overweight in 07 when I was 75 and you could see all my bones too :/ But I know that I am infact overweight, I'd honestly be the happiest woman to just be double digits again,

I had no idea about it originally being for the diet industry though, but looking at it that way it does make sense :/

Thanks heaps, helps to hear all that,
I'm not much bigger than I was when I had my first, but looking at all the risks overweight pregnancies carry scares me, google is just great for terrifying us huh?

Thank you smile Will keep this in mind xx