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Need advice, please dont judge... :( Rss

Hey everyone, I know i havent been on here for ages.

Last time I was here, I was ttc with my fiance after we had our misscarriage in late June. We are still not pregnant and we have been focusing more on other things than ttc.

My fiance and I had a rough time last month, constantly fighting over everything and work was both stressing us out to the max. I started a new high pressure job and found it hard to fit time in for the both of us which was really starting to damage our love life.

We had a huge argument one night and I was so upset and desperate to be treated nicely, so i had a few drinks with an old male friend and we ended up sleeping together....without protection.

I know, absolutely stupid.

The thing is, when i headed home the next morning, my fiance came to me , apologised and begged me not to leave ever again. I felt guilty and horrible as he doesnt know i slept with another man, and the worst part is, it was unprotected sex.

My fiance and I ended up making love that day and I'm in fear that now, I will become pregnant and not know who the father of the baby is.

This may sound so paranoid, but HELP what do i do?????????

I am aware i may get bad comments, but please dont be too harsh as I am really needing some help and advice.

I will also advise that My fiance and i did sleep with eachother a few days before my other friend.... but stilll.....


HELP!!!!!!!!
ummmmm.... If I was in your shoes what I would have done is gone straight to get the morning after pill, even if you do conceive and there is a chance I personally would not take the risk to have someone else baby.
Not judging you, as obviously you know what's been done is wrong, but I would also tell my DH what I did, as there is also obviously a lot of guilt on your behalf and it will eat you alive. If it's meant to be and work out, he will forgive you and all be ok. If not, well there is a reason for it.
Good luck with deciding what to do, remember that we all make mistakes thru life, but the only thing that counts is how we deal with the fallout.
Have you been charting your ovulation? I only ask because you could be worrying over nothing.

The main concern i would have is catching an STD and passing it to your partner. You should go have a chat with your gp.
well for starters i would tell df. i know it will be hard. i have been in your shoes to a certain extent. i almost slept with another guy while df was clubbing (i was 17, so too young to go). i didnt sleep with him but did alot of other things. when i saw df, i sat him down and told him straight away. i was crying the whole way through the story, once i finished he stood up and left. he went for a walk, which made me even more upset. after an hour or two, he came back asked a few questions and then, he forgave me. obviously it wasnt like nothing had happened. i seriously hurt him, but we worked together and worked through it. we are now married and due to have our second child together.

it will be hard telling him, and he will probably need space after telling him. (for me i was upset at the time and my ex who was still a friend consoled me then started kissing me. this was not an excuse, as i didnt stop it, i started kissing back ect.) but it did make the situation easier for him to take. i imagine you were in a similar situation.

and as for not knowing if your pregnant. do you have any idea where you are in your cycle, or how long ago your period was or when your period is due? hopefully if you have only got your period or it is due in a few days, your mind may be put to rest.

Good luck, hope your df forgives you smile





I agree with PP. You need to tell your DF asap. What if you have given him a STD? I would be more concerned with that right now.

I will never understand what you have done, but I if it were me I would be owning up to what I had done and then try to mend things right now, not ignoring the things I had done.

I agree with PP you need to tell your DF what you have done and face whatever his reaction is, putting it off is only going to make it harder in the long run, especially if it turns out that you are pregnant.
I think you need to ask yourself if you really actually want to be with your dp. Cheating is generally a symptom of something worse iykwim, like the fact that your relationship may not be working but you may not be ready to admit to yourself.

NOT wanting to sound judgey judgey but your relationship doesn't really sound stable. Maybe you should also think about whether you are ready to bring a new person into it (ttc). If there is already a lot of stress and strain and you are fighting a lot then imagine how much worse that will be when you add the responsibility of a baby to the mix.
Look this is going to come across as harsh, but you should have known it was coming by posting about it on huggies. When you say "please don't judge me" I think you are actually saying "please don't write anything nasty about me." Deep down we are all judging you, we are just not saying it. How could you go and sleep with another man over one fight? If I went and cheated on my husband everytime we had a fight, I would have slept with 50 men by now!

I do hope for your childs sake that you are NOT pregnant as you are no were near responsible enough to have a child. You really need to re think your relationship and tell your df the truth, if he has half a brain he will leave you and maybe you will learn from your mistake! If I was you I wouldn't be writng it on huggies as you have a profile pic and I would hate if someone told your df before you. I bet he feels totally betrayed.

Look this is going to come across as harsh, but you should have known it was coming by posting about it on huggies. When you say "please don't judge me" I think you are actually saying "please don't write anything nasty about me." Deep down we are all judging you, we are just not saying it. How could you go and sleep with another man over one fight? If I went and cheated on my husband everytime we had a fight, I would have slept with 50 men by now!

I do hope for your childs sake that you are NOT pregnant as you are no were near responsible enough to have a child. You really need to re think your relationship and tell your df the truth, if he has half a brain he will leave you and maybe you will learn from your mistake! If I was you I wouldn't be writng it on huggies as you have a profile pic and I would hate if someone told your df before you. I bet he feels totally betrayed.

Very nicley said..I ave been watching this and waiting for someone to say it like we are all thinking! And yes I think you need to tell your partner...pretty silly having a profile pic of you and him...im assuming!!! If you dont tell him someone else will
yep, pretty much the same as the last couple of posts have said.
A, silly for having a profile pic.
B, there are already enough baby's out there being born out of relationships they shouldn't be, to people who shouldn't be having them (not saying you wouldn't be a good mum, but the first does apply, if you can't hack one argument, just wait until there is a baby added to the mix, arguments are 5 times worse when you are exhausted!).
C, tell your partner, easy for me to say because I'm not the one having to tell him, but then I have the luxury of saying it, because I would never do what you did in the first place.
a ) I don't think you're mature enough to be getting married
b ) I don't think you're mature enough to be a mother

I think you need to grow up and do what any adult should do in your situation - get checked for STIs and tell your fiance.
Nina u need to grow up we r all sick of ur childess posts when u do post. I hope nd pray that u r NOT pregnant, that would b so unfair on that child. All relationships go through rocky times at some point nd we certainly dnt go sleeping around when the going gets tuff. U have come to the wrong board for advice nd support, u c the difference between all us ladies nd u is we R old enough nd mature enough to have a baby nd in stable relationships, so the pitty train stops now, u have read these threads to no that a lot of us on here r struggling to even fall pregnant nd ur whinging about a possible pregnancy from a 1 night stand GROW UP.

Do us all a favour nd stop with ur pitty posts we honestly dnt want to hear it............
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