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feel like a bad person Lock Rss

Hi girls! How have you been? Sorry but I really need to vent! I hope some of you can relate! Because I feel so bad about how I feel… I’ve just found out that my cousin and his wife are expecting their 2nd baby. Don’t get me wrong! I am happy for them! But every time I hear that someone is pregnant I feel so sad and depressed. And as ashamed as I am to say it I’m so jealous! When it going to be my turn???? WHEN? Everyone in my life is pregnant or already has children. Literally everyone I know! I receive at least one invitation to a baby shower per week! It’s insane and it’s driving me crazy! It’s getting me so down that I find myself making excuses not to go around friends and family houses like I used to. I can’t bare feeling like this!!! Do you think I’m a bit*h?? So sorry for this post. I feel like a bad person. I hope I’m not alone...
First of all let me say I am sorry for your frustration. I had a breakdown at a baby shower this summer. My 19 yr old sis got pregnant. I won’t say it was easy to be happy for her and not to jealous. I was broken by the news. I’ve also asked “why?” and “when?”… But I am now so blessed. And I fully understand how lucky/fortunate I am. I need to ask and please believe me it wasn’t easy for me and my dh. We’ve gone through a lot to get to where we are now. I'm 12 weeks after 9 years of TTC and battle with PCOS – eventually we did IVF with de. My question is - how do I tell a friend at work who's been TTC with many efforts and $ spent that I am pregnant? Any suggestions? I’ve been there but honestly I have no idea how to tell about pregnancy to someone who’s been ttcing for years and not make them sad. It seems impossible to me… Any comments would be appreciated.
I totally understand how you feel. I try to be happy for others but deep down inside I’m so jealous... I think we have every right to feel the way we do... It’s human nature. We are trying and longing for a baby... And when someone else gets pregnant it’s a downer. Don’t apologize for your feelings. Just try to channel that negative energy in another way. My best friend called yesterday to tell me that she is expecting! While I am happy for her, I can’t help but be jealous. She has only been trying for 2 months (naturally)... I’m so depressed... I so feel like I’m getting my rag! I just try to remember that I am still blessed with the things I do have and know that someday it will be my turn! Hang in there. It will be our turn too!
You’re definitely not alone. I was just out with dh and in a span of an hour I heard about 2 different couples that are preg. It is hard... I just try to think that my time will come soon. I guess what keeps me going is thinking that everything happens for a reason. There must be a reason I'm not 7 month preg. right now. I believe it will be my turn soon.

Korailily14 wrote:
First of all let me say I am sorry for your frustration. I had a breakdown at a baby shower this summer. My 19 yr old sis got pregnant. I won’t say it was easy to be happy for her and not to jealous. I was broken by the news. I’ve also asked “why?” and “when?”… But I am now so blessed. And I fully understand how lucky/fortunate I am. I need to ask and please believe me it wasn’t easy for me and my dh. We’ve gone through a lot to get to where we are now. I'm 12 weeks after 9 years of TTC and battle with PCOS – eventually we did IVF with de. My question is - how do I tell a friend at work who's been TTC with many efforts and $ spent that I am pregnant? Any suggestions? I’ve been there but honestly I have no idea how to tell about pregnancy to someone who’s been ttcing for years and not make them sad. It seems impossible to me… Any comments would be appreciated.


The baby shower thing will probably be me in two weeks. My good friend is due the end of Jan. and I would've been due in Fab. I have to go. She has been so supportive of me... But the texts about her baby's weight and who the baby looks like in utero are a bit much. As for your case... First of all my congratulations! I’m sincerely happy for you, dear! You obviously have to tell your friend at work. I think she will be supportive because you have similar paths... Your story is inspiring for me. So I think you will be a pure inspiration for her as well. I'm sure she will be happy for you. Good luck!
You’re not a bad person. I wouldn't say I am jealous. And trust me I have thought about this a lot. Hearing someone else is pregnant just reminds me of this very uphill struggle I am in. It brings me back to the depression I have to fight every day to keep going to my dream. I am in the same boat. Every of our friends has had their babies and moved on to their second in the last two years we have been trying. We are about to start surrogacy as it is our only option to get pregnant. Even our friends doing IVF have been successful and are starting on #2. Infertility is just unfair. There have been days where I can't even get out of bed. I am so depressed and of course those seem to be the times when someone else I know reveals their pregnancy. Or one better is when a coworker brings me her sonogram picture and brag about getting pregnant on her first month trying AGAIN! She is half way to #2! And we started trying for #1 way before she and her dh did. Not to mention we have spent ridiculous amounts of time and money on failed treatments. I am not sure how to make this better. I personally am in a place where I no longer want to hear it will happen when it’s supposed to or everything happens for a reason, blah blah blah. I cannot believe there is any good reason for infertility in a person that so desperately wants a baby and yet terrible people get pregnant so easily every fckn day. Sorry this is my rant. Bottom line... You are not a bit*h and not alone.

I didn't mean the way I feel is by any means the right or best way to feel. In fact I wish I still felt that this was happening for a reason or that my DH and I getting pregnant was even a good possibility. I just can't get to that place anymore. I really have lost most hope especially since it is never going to happen by any natural means. It will always take intervention which means I have to be willing to keep trying which I am just about done with. I would truly want to believe there was a reason for it.
Just like everybody before me said, this is not the reason to consider yourself a bad person. It is a normal feeling and you sound like you really want it, which only makes you ready for it, not a bad person. Have patience and your time will come, Just remember all those stories where people forced something, and the moment they took a step back and relaxed, it happened.We all have faith in you!
As a women, as a wife it is not wrong, you are not the bad person,you just want to be a mother. As a married couple it is a dream to have a baby. So hope for best, pray to god.
I feel incredibly overwhelmed. And I suppose because of this, I find myself snapping at just about everyone. Sometimes, my anger seems to come out of nowhere but then once it appears, I can't seem to control it. I will say things that I can not believe are coming out of my mouth. Last night when we were having dinner, one of the kids mentioned that he did not like the food. I got up, left the table, and pushed my chair in so loud, it made him cry. My husband went after me and told me he did not recognize the person I had become. He asked me when I had become an angry person. He said he is not sure how much longer he can live this way.
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Do not abuse yourself, who does not happen. But I still wish you a successful trip, and by the way, if I need financial assistance on a long trip, I can help. I know a site https://777score.com/ where you can find a lot of information about teams and players and make bets successfully, because with such a lot of information, it’s not difficult to make a forecast.

Hi all! Thank you for all ur support and encouragement. It just gets so hard sometimes… As much as your family and friends try to be there, they just don’t understand. It’s almost like they tip toe round you. I’m sick of people asking me when I’m going to have kids. It’s always people that haven’t seen me for a while so I just change the subject unbeknown to them its killing me inside. I’m desperately trying for a baby, and dh that’s another story. I just don’t think he understands at all. I tell more about my thoughts and feelings to this forum. I’m so glad I found it. You've all been such a great support to me. Keeping you all in my prayers.
You are not alone. I can totally relate to how you feel. My cousin just had her 3rd baby. We live in different states. At least I don't have to worry about seeing the baby often. But I am going out to visit my mom soon. She wants me to stop by and see them on my way out to my mom's. I declined the invite saying that she just had the baby and the last thing she needs is me and my two little dogs visiting. When the truth is that I just don't think I could handle seeing the new baby. Then there is my other cousin whose wife is due in June!!! You must be kidding me. Life is not fair at all!!! But we just have to keep faith that someday we will get the little baby that we so desire. Hun, you are not a bad person for feeling jealous. I can totally get it why you feel this way.
I know I'm not alone and this site has been a huge support group from me. I feel that I'm alone in my everyday life which I'm sure is true for most of us on this site. I'm grateful to be able to go to all of you for support. I’m grateful I have such a great DH. Last year was a tough year for me and I often wonder how I get through it. The only thing that keeps me going is by trying to stay positive and happy for those who are close to me. It is not their faults that I'm having these problems. I know I will have my day soon. Here is my story… I don't have any problems getting pregnant, but I do have troubles staying pregnant. My first m/c was at 16 weeks. I went in for an u/s at 14 weeks and found the baby stopped growing at 11w5d but still had a hb of 168. The doctor had me in for a follow-up u/s at 16 weeks. This is when we found out I miscarried between 14 and 16 weeks. I had a DNC that day and a second one a week later because the ER surgeon left tissue behind. I didn't get my first AF for 10 weeks. Got pregnant again in August… At my 6 week u/s there was hb… Had a follow-up u/s at 10 weeks and found I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks. I can’t believe all that happened to me… This is so heartbreaking.
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