I'm expecting my first baby and I'm currently 6 months pregnant. I have a complex history with Body Dysmorphia, from 13 years old into my late 20's I battled with bulimia and anorexia. I finally put the physical actions of my eating disorder to bed after years of counselling. I even became a Pin Up Model and subsequently, a Burlesque Performer. After 3 years working as a performer, I thought all my demons were gone. I had accepted myself and who I was, I was finally at peace.
However, as my body grows and changes with my beautiful baby girl inside me. Those negative thoughts and demons have been unleashed, infiltrating my thoughts.
My bust has grown from a ample 8FF to a 10H/12GG and I have jumped up 2 dress sizes. I'm carrying high so I literally feel like a ball sad
To top it off my sister in law told me Tuesday, that I looked massive. That I was too big for what I should be at this stage of the pregnancy. Cut to three days of tears and my beautiful hubby trying to console me. I feel crushed and back in a place i thought I had long since left behind.
I eat healthy, exercise every other day and although my doctor did tell me I had gained a healthy amount of weight during the 1st and 2nd trimester (so far I've gained 9kg), my weight gain has now plateaued. All my stats are perfect and so is my little girl. But inside my head I can't help but hear the negative voices, that plagued me as a teen/young adult.
Has anyone had similar experiences with their body image during pregnancy? I would love anyone's advice, especially those who to have battled with eating disorders and/or body dysmorphia.