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Disinterested Grandma to be Rss

Hi All

Hoping some advice may help me feel better about this situation.

My future Mother-In-Law (fiance's mum) is appearing very disinterested in the baby. This will be her first grandchild (and first great grandchild for her mother). We live in the same town so she each other about once a week or so. She rarely asks me about the preg and when I do tell her things she doesn't take much of an interest. She has not bought anything (I do not expect to have them buy things, but usually family are wanting to give you things they find cute, etc and generally are excited). She, however, is not excited - it's nearly like a non-event.

I spoke with my sister-in-law (her daughter, who lives in another state) and said casually "hey, has your mum said much about the baby, is she excited." Well SIL says "mum doesn't know where she fits in and how your relationship (with fiance) will go." I remained casual about it but inside i'm just going "WHAT THE?' I just don't understand, I didn't want to make it an issue with the family, but can anyone help me understand? My fiance and I have been together for nearly 4 yrs and always had a good relationship (no hint of trouble). I don't think i need to explain to MIL 'where she fits in'. HELP, this is really starting to irk me.
You have got my Sympathy!!

Do you get along with her normally??
The only thing I could think of would be to pull her in and show her where you invision her fitting in with baby etc.
Mother in laws' can be very nervous about stepping on toes especially with new babies (that is if they are not trying to run the show). At least I know my mother was with my nephew.

danielboy born 3/3/6

Hi Bundymum

I know exactly how you feel!!!!

My mum is just going crazy buying everything she can possibly get her hands on for the Baby.... My fiance and I reckon that we will have to pay my parents to get a chance to hold our own baby, they are soooo excited (their 1st grandchild) BUT his mum just doesnt seem to care.

She will ask how I am but thats about it, she doesn't ring to see how things are going and she doesn't really seem to talk about the baby either unless we bring her up. I know that its her 3rd grandchild but it is her son's first child and you'd think that would make her alittle more excited but i guess not!!!!

Must b a mother-in-law thing!!!!!!
However it is depressing especially with all the hormones we all ready have running our lives hahaha

good luck

Melissa, WA, - paige 14mths & jack due in June

Hi Bundymum
I know this will sound harsh, but regardless of whether your relationship worked or didn't work with her son ( one would have figured this out after 4yrs ) you are going to have her grandchild, and its not about her, its about you and your fiance enjoying the months ahead to the birth of your beautiful baby. I to had a grandma who had no interest and I remember thinking this is your first grandchild what is wrong with you. I soon discovered it is'nt worth the worry and she was the one missing out. I wish you and your fiance all the best.
I don't speak to my mother anymore, we live 3000kms away from her, and when our first was 4 months old drove down to surprise everyone. Got to her house, she wasn't excited at all, and got up after 15 minutes and said she was going to bingo, she'd see us another day! I was fuming, didn't bother seeing her for the rest of the holiday, and had a big argument with her when i got home. She still cannot understand why i was upset that she left straight away, after all don't i know thursday is her bingo day??!! Sorry for expecting her to actually want to spend time with us we don't just live around the corner!
This hasn't been the only thing, this was just the last straw. She hasn't seen my oldest since that day, and has never seen the twins, and as far as i know doesn't know i'm pregnant again. Her loss i think, she's not a nice person and all i have felt is relief that she's out of our lives.
So i'm the opposite, sh*t mum and ok mil!

Kelly, 22, 1 @ 25/1/04, 2 @9/3/05, 1@5/4/06

Hi Everyone!

My DH's family lives in Australia... and his parents have not seen Brayden. He is now 9 months old and they haven't made any plans to come and see him this year either. We visited them when I was about 22 weeks pregnant so we thought that they would visit rather than expect us to go over again.

Anyway, I feel sad for DH as they never call us either. They do send presents and when we call them, they do ask about him. We try and send photos and keep them updated... but I guess the saddest thing is that when/if they do visit, Brayden will be a toddler and he won't recognise them or want to go to them.

My parents are so involved with Brayden and are doting grandparents.

It isn't too expensive for a couple of air tickets and they aren't poor. I feel that it is because it is DH's step mum and so perhaps she doesn't feel as much of a connection or desire to want to see her grandson?? Anyway, when I have to deal with some issues to do with my parents and I read about in-law troubles... I can be thankful that I don't have to deal with my in-laws as they are overseas.

Anyway, the last time DH spoke to his parents, they said they are 'thinking' about a trip later on this year... let's just hope they give me a few weeks notice before turning up at my front door!!!!

Thanks for letting me share.

Bye for now.

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