I'm about to have my first baby (due any day now). The father left when I was 8 weeks, and refused to have anything to do with the baby, even offering to pay for a termination.
I put my foot down, and after a LOT of talking he agreed to sign the birth cert and agreed to give a relationship with the baby a go, so we kept in touch.
We had a big falling out 2 months ago, and I decided to distance myself from him to save me from getting stressed & upset (and save the baby from it too) & also to give him a bit of a break from everything too. He's now with someone new, and she doesn't know about me & the baby - in fact his family doesn't know still! His excuses are just getting to hard to hear, and I think since we've had the break from each other, I've actually realised he won't come to the party & be a father to our baby, which I really don't want.
Maybe its for the best, I don't know. I am still scared of my ex bonding with the baby, then leaving. Maybe if I end things completely now, I can save baby the heartache of losing a parent later on, and save myself the heartache of watching it happen, and not being able to do anything about it. If he refuses to be a father now, maybe he doesn't want to be a father at all??
Well, I'm due any day now, and one thing I know for sure is this: no matter what the outcome is in the next wee while, I relish the thought of being a mum, and this baby doesnt know it yet, but my family & I have nothing but love and laughter waiting for him/her.
Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)