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What to do about my family? Lock Rss

First of all I'd like to say what on earth do I do with family members always worrying about their involvement with the baby? I'm 16 and a half weeks pregnant with my first baby, and the majority of the time all I hear from mine and my partners family is how they'll be involved. They keep asking over and over again if they can babysit and look after the baby when its born but they don't ask me or my partner what our thoughts are on things. I just feel like they're too worried about whether or not they'll get to babysit and they can't just be happy for us that were having a baby. Am I being too selfish?

Secondly, before finding out I was pregnant, I used to party a lot. Drink, smoke cigarettes and smoke marijuana. Since becomming pregnant I have given these 3 things up, but it seems that along with giving those things up, I have also given up my friends and 2 of my close cousins. I don't see anyone anymore, no one rings me to see how I'm doing and I find it hard knowing that previously I used to hang out with these people. I know I've changed and settled down a bit, but why should I have to suffer with no friends because I'm pregnant. Any advice or anyone in simular situations?

Thanks!
PS Sorry for taking up so much room smile
hi there
cant help with the second issue but as far as family involvement goes - well - you (and your partner) just have to blunt and to the point - that you will decide if and when your family can baby sit. Also if they want to be involved that much they can always do the housework and cook!!

they need to be reminded that those first few months are crucial for you and baby to bond - and while the family are 'baybysiting' that bond will take longer to make.

do you have access to the magazine 'Little Treasures' they very often have articles in there suggesting solutions for issues like this.

Becks, mum to be of twins

i hope the pregnacy is going well for you.

to the matter of your family, you are so lucky to have family around that is so keen to help, all my family live in new zealand and don't get to see them my husbands family are their too and have only seen my son once he is now 22months old.
But in saying all that my mum is a control freak and when she does come over it is do this you should be doing that blah blah blah....... you do need to put your foot down the baby isn't here yet and this time should be about you and your health,
once that baby arrives it will be baby this and that but when that baby is born take those offers of baby sitting and run for about an hour. It's been 2 years since i didn't anything on my own.

On the matter of your friends your in a different situation to them they probably miss your company too but don't know how to deal with you being pregnant, you and i Know pregnancy doesn't change your personality it changes your priorities,
maybe try to make new friends.

All my friends from my party days have moved on, I am the only one who is married the only one with a baby and i'm pregnant again for awhile their they forgot about me we still talk once every couple of months, but they have lives too.

Give your friends time they may come around get out their and meet others in the same situation.

good luck i hope it all works out for you

Rylee 2 big brother to Tyler mummy angel boys

Accept the friend issue, i only have one from pre-baby days now, we just had nothing in common anymore. I have another friend who was a partier, and she doesn't see any of her old buddies either, they don't understand that she just can't take drugs and drink anytime, and she gave up trying to relate to them. You've entered a totally different life now, and childless people don't get it.
As for the family i copped this too, but after the babies were born they went quiet and never offered any help. Keep quiet for now, just smile, and if the issue stays after the baby's born put your foot down then. I've never been comfortable leaving my kids anywhere, so i don't-if someone wants to see them we visit each other. Everyone either smokes around them, or feeds them unsuitable things etc, and if we stay with them that can't happen. We just moved 3000kms away from them again, now it's nice and peaceful!
Good luck with your bub!

Kelly, 22, 1 @ 25/1/04, 2 @9/3/05, [email protected]5/4/06

hi my name is vicky,
i was in a similer situation with my partners family.They cared so much about them selfs to the point of obsession when my son was born. i know exactliy how u feel.now my son is 8and a half months old and i havent aloud them 2 see him since he was about 2months old.if u would like to chat email on
[email protected]

vicky, S.A 6mth baby

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