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Hurtful things DH says Lock Rss

Hi Ladies,

Just need to vent. Hope you don't mind.

I have a DS and he turned one yesterday, for the last month or so I have been getting clucky and thinking about having a second one. I really would love them to be close, as in my experience, closer in age means closer in relationship. Personal choice of course.

So, I bring the subject up to my DH and he said he thinks it would be better if we try to fall pregnant when our DS is two, next november. So, I think it's ok to discuss this and I bring up my points for having one sooner.

DH tells me: why do we have to have another one at all? The house looks like a pig sty as it is, as if having another won't make it worse. I personally don't think the house looks bad at all.

So basically, he said that I am not good enough to have another child with, because I am hopeless enough as it is.

How am I supposed to feel? How am I supposed to respond to that?

I was too hurt to say anything at the time.

Am I over reacting?

Thanks for your time....

Elle, DS: Kai 20/11/04 & DS: Jamie 13/02/07

Hi elle,

i have two boys that are thirteen months apart. and i know for a fact that i wouldnt have it any other way & way you can do all the things with the children that older mums cant no offence lol
togeter as they are in the same age bracket, its kind of like twins actually.,lol but it can be very tiresome as well but very rewarding i found it very good with me as one grows the other child groes into the siblings other clothes but as i am a young mother as well i found it good to have them young as you can enjoy it all with them being young and not to old to get around, and they do grow a very special bond togther thats inseperable.& quick i think the foundation for having them so close togther is perfect.

i think your husband was a little selfish and arrogant about the whole subject at hand and that he should have discussed the matter with you on a adults propective, not being childish about it., i think maybe he doesnt want to hurt your feelings as maybe he dont want anoter one and thats is way of saying no,
givin you excuses that the house is like a pigsty ,and every mother will tell you the same when children are born the house is never the same again!! it a callenging keeping it clean at times i manage it tough!! but if your picking up everyting after tem every 5 mins, its not healty for you or your children as you get mad and flustrated ect just be a mum and dont wory want he says!!!
i know as if you feel its you thats not good enough honey but believe me its his loss. dont feel as if your not good enough im sure your a really pretty young lady. and a threffic mother, why dont you tell me how you feel .? id say your response would be feelin inaquadte as a mother house cleaner and wife!! but were not all the super nanny!!! i think he needs to go see dr phil!!, no your not over reactin but i think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. i believe havin just one child isnt healty for your child and if you are lonin for another child you should talk to him as it been known to wreck marrigaes maybe hes givin excuses as he dont want another one and doesnt want to say no straight up. and maybe he feels a little jelous as his reactions he displays are jelousy. so i say ive im the ultamatium you will know his real feelins 100% let me know how you go,.

chin up honey

mother of three beautiful children

Tell him if the messy house annoys him that much he can try keeping it constantly clean for a few days, see how much work really goes into it! Having three littlies my house looks messy from when they get up until their bedtime, but underneath all the crap they drag around it's clean, that's my only aim! Tell him not to be so insensitive and dodge the issue, you're talking about another kid here not the state of the house.

Kelly, 22, 1 @ 25/1/04, 2 @9/3/05, [email protected]/4/06

you are NOT overreacting at all. It sounds like ur partner needs to have a look in the mirror and take a good look at himself.

Tell him if he thinks the house is bad, it might help if he helps around the house.

it sounds like he is jelous of all the attention ur giving to ur son, he needs to know that he is not the baby of the family. maybe this is how his dad acted around him growing up tell him he has to be a good role model for ur son. As your son looks up to him

amy

first baby

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