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What should I do? Rss

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and now i have decided that it maybe time to break up. He treats me like crap and calls me names. He used to hit me and once punched me in the eye in a shopping centre carpark. I am not sure but i have a funny feeling that he may have or is cheating on me because i don't want to have sex. I know that i should leave but i can't tell any-one because i am afraid of what they would say. He dosen't seem to care about this baby. I just want to know from him if he is cheating on me but he wouldn't tell if his life depended on it. Can any-one help me in this situation?

Thanks

Amy,QLD, mum to 1

oh amy {{{HUGE HUGS}}}

firstly, things will NEVER change! you have to think about what it will be like for this baby now as well as for yourself, you dont want your child growing watching it's father beat it's mother.

secondly, if u suspect he's cheating, and u know he'll never tell you either way, then chances are he is cheating. and apart from the obvious reasons to kick him to the kerb, you have to think about yourself, your dignity and your future.

thirdly, hun, bugger what others will say if u get rid of him, anyone who can fault you for ridding yourself of an abusive partner isnt worth the time you give them.

have you considered talking to someone about it? like life-line or another 3rd party? they can help just by listening and also may be able to put you in touch with someone who can give the right help. also i suggest you ring the domestic violence hotlines and talk to people who can help you and give you the support you are so obviously lacking.

if u ever need to talk, i'm always willing to listen, so dont hesitate!

spar0wsnest@hotmail.com

cheers and chin up sweety.

sahm to 5 midgit circus freaks

Unfortunately the only person who can decide what to do is you. One thing to look at though, is if he treats you badly, how is he going to be around the baby? Even if he treats the baby ok, but continues to abuse you will not be good for your child.
I was with a guy for 1 year who was emotionally abusive to me, and previously to his wife, his children were definitely affected by this. I was lucky, I got out and had a supportive family.
Do you have any friends or family you can talk to? Not necessarily to give advice, but just to act as a sounding board, sometimes thats all you need. If you're afraid of what they would say, tell them this first, let them know you're looking for support, not judgement. Alternatively look for community support, try your phone book, or check with your doctor.

Best of luck

Rachelle, NZ, son George 10.12.02, Ian 15.06.04

honey

dont worry about other people. think about yourself and your baby. you need to get out. why stay with someone like this? my mum is in the same kinda thing and she refuses to leave. she wants to be the victim. dont be a victim get out. only you can make the decision there ARE always people to listen to you and help you. YOU ALWAYS have CHOICE about your life. do what you think is best.

cheating aint the right thing to do. plenty of fish in the sea. contact me if you wish to talk

kodeybear@hotmail.com

Narelle, Eilish 5th june 2002 TTC since dec 2002

This post has been edited by the moderator.
Hi Amy

I have been in the same situation as you except i wasnt pregnant. I was married to an abusive man, we were together for 8 years and he manipulated my way of thinking that cut me off from my family and friends so I had no one but him. That way I wouldnt leave as I felt i had no one else. He wanted to start a family but i knew that if he could do that to me he would do it to the child and as I couldnt stand up for myself there was no way i could protect a helpless child from him. Your priority should be you and your baby and your safety. Ask yourself is this the life that i want for myself and for my child as they learn how to behave from their parents. You deserve better than that, there are men out there that treat women with respect and love. I decided one day that i could cope on my own and that being on my own would be better than my life as it was. I reached out to my family who were fantastic and i left. It was hard to make that break but it was like i was a new person, I no longer had to tread on eggshells and I felt safe. I now am with a beautiful man who loves me and would do anything for me. Get your support together, dont worry about what people think, im sure friends and family dont want you and your baby to be in any danger, ( believe me it can get worse the longer it goes on) And most important get out of the relationship, You are what your baby needs!. I hope my story is of some help to you.

Dawn,WA ,Chloe 3.5, Danielle born 17th dec 2004

in answer to your question.......LEAVE HIM.
ive been in your situation so i can tell you from experience.
AMY , PUT YOURSELF FIRST AND YOUR CHILD.

theres different types of abuse.
emotinal........calling you names and making you feel like an idiot
physical........ the punching etc

THIS IS NOT ON

WHO THE HELL GIVES HIM THE RIGHT.
and NEVER worry about what other ppl think, if they care about you they would want for you to be happy and safe.

Take care Amy

Michelle

DD 13/11/03 -DD 11.11.05 - DS 17.4.08

Hi Amy,
I read your message..
I know someone who was once in the same situation as you are in.. About 2 years ago..
She was with him for 2 1/2 years and he made her have a miscarriage..
Some guys just dont care about what others feel..

if you want to talk to someone
jennie_lou_4@hotmail.com

i'll talk to you..

jennie
Hi Amy

Was just reading through this post and noticed a few months have passed since you wrote.

Just wondering how you are and if everything is okay with you?

I am sure others here would also like to know how you are getting on.

Take care
M2G

Gabriella, Chiara & angel called home

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