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Is it ok to host your own baby shower?

I have mentioned my baby shower to my mum a couple times but she seems really disinterested and hasn't offered to help (we have a somewhat distant/rocky relationship). I even suggested we have it at her house but she gave numerous reasons as to why that wouldn't be feasible - when it fact the 'reasons' could be easily rectified/overcome but I don't want to push the topic.

As for Aunties playing host - all except one live interstate.

As for sisters - all are younger and have no concept of offering to help and don't have a cent to their names so I wouldn't even dream of it!

As for friends - a few a pregnant and are having their baby showers in the same month and another is getting married a couple weeks later etc. I think most of my friends have enough on their plate and the ones that could help wouldn't know that I need it!!

I don't mind hosting my own baby shower but I am wondering if it will be perceived as 'greedy'? I am also wondering if I would be better off spending the money it would cost to host the baby shower on things for the baby instead (I have budgeted approx. $400 for the baby shower). I work in event management so 'throwing a party' is right up my alley and I would really love to have a nice, creative party for my little bubby but I don't know whether its the best idea. For memories and celebrations sake I don't want to regret not having a baby shower (being my 1st baby, this is pretty much my only chance to have one) but I also wonder if it is custom to have someone else host it for you or should I just disregard custom and do it myself??

Thanks for any replies! x

[Edited on 23/09/2008]

I really don't think there is any reason why you can't host your own. Plus I think it would be really sad if you missed out just because no one at the time was offering to host it for you.

A friend my mine hosted her own. There was nothing odd about it. It was a good day!!

Good luck!

Hi there
I was in the same boat as you to begin with, as I am the first of my friends to have a baby nobody really put their hand up to organise it for me as I guess nobody knew they had to! In the end I mentioned to a friend that I didnt have anyone to organise it for me and that I would have to do it myself, but then she offered along with another friend! I did the invitations myself and looked up some party games on the net and gave the ideas i found to my friend, but in the end they wouldnt let me do anymore and it was lovely not having the stress and to have a suprise on the day!
I dont think theres anything wrong with organising your own if u have to, but instead of calling it a baby shower maybe u could do something a little different and host a dessert evening or something, ppl can still bring presents etc, I just think that a baby shower should be your day to be spoilt etc but I understand how hard it is to find someone willing to organise it for you!!!


I've only ever been to one and no offence but I dont get the whole baby shower thing, to me its a party with the intention of getting gifts for the baby so I never had one... just seemed a bit off. Mind you I think the same about kitchen tea parties, I dont understand what is with those either especially when you have an engagement party and a wedding.

Everyone usually buys you a card and flowers or gift when baby is born so having a baby shower does seem greedy to me... besides getting stuff for the baby what is the point of them?
I think that a baby shower is a sort of farewell to your life pre-baby (eg: hen's night)! Trying to get together with friends AFTER the baby is born is difficult, and even when you do get together, it's often a bit stressful, interrupted etc etc.

There is nothing wrong with planning a baby shower yourself! I think the only thing that may be perceived as tacky would be if you actually asked for (or included a list of) presents you want / need and expect people to get them for you.

Most true friends will want to be involved, and also would want to bring a little something for you or baby. Let's face it, after the baby is born the only thing I got was flowers - YAY something else to look after lol! (from interstate family and friends) and one or two teddy bears! So having a baby shower prior to bub's arrival took the "obligation" off people to bring something to the hospital when they visited. JMO
A baby shower to me, is to celebrate the up coming birth of you're baby and sharing that with you're friends and family. All of my girlfriends have had baby showers and i do not see anything wrong with them.

I think it's fine to hold you're own baby shower, i had mine on Saturday but i had it at a girlfriends house and the girls in my wedding helped out.

The only thing is, it is alot of work and by the end of it i was so tired and warn out......and i had heaps of help....I had my mum, 3 friends and my step daughter to help. They helped with organising games, decorations, food and invites etc....and i did spend a bit of money, as well as my mum...we maybe spend all up 300ish

To be honest it is alot of money, but i had a great day and some great memories and photos...........and i suppose it depends on how you're finances are and how much you still have to get for the baby?

I got tons and tons of clothes and bibs and baby products. Surprisling i only got one small packet of nappies LOL

I don't think there is anything wrong with holding you're own baby shower, but you might need some help.

Thank you very much for your replies & suggestions. I think I will just host it myself and perhaps once the invites go out someone may put their hand up and offer to help. Afterall I think I would be dissapointed if I didn't have a Baby Shower just because no one else could host it for me.

I agree with you MrTsMummy. I see the occasion as more of a 'farewell' and also a celebration of whats to come (and an excuse to have the girls over for champers and canapes). The purpose (for me) is not about gifts at all. I would never dream of telling people what gifts I want or including a list or anything remotely like that! As I previously mentioned, I make my living as an Event Manager so for me I live and breathe any little oportunity to organise a party so my friends and family would not perceive the day as an opportunity for me to stock up on pressies - rather they would know its in my character to arrange a day/night to celebrate and host a fun party. As I do quite regularly.

Besides, I have been to numerous baby showers and not once have I balked at having to buy a gift or thought it was bad taste for a mother-to-be to have a baby shower. I've actually really enjoyed finding the perfect pressie and having a social afternoon with my circle of friends. Every single one of my friends (that have children) have had a baby shower so I don't think they will find it rude that I have one. When I asked if it was perceived as 'greedy' I didn't mean the actual event, more so that it isn't organised by a family member or friend rather by me, but the truth is, I don't really have a choice at the moment!!

Anyway, thanks again for your feedback. x

I was spoilt when i had DD work threw a baby shower but my aunty was diaspponted she didn't get to do it so she threw a come and met me party after she was born for family and friends which was great as everyone got to see and hold her and made it easier for pepole to buy a present to so if you are finding it hard to fit in with other people's plan maybe you could have something different.

im having a baby shower in november when im 7months preg. im hosting my own but with friends helping with the games so i can play. i am very good in orginising parties.
ive also decided that i dont want gifts but if everyone brings a packet of baby wipes or shampoo';s or small things ill need for bub as the present, since ive got lots already for bub and im using cloth nappies, the best idea is wipes as they are never ending.
ive told everyone to just bring something small, since is too close to xmas, all my friends have kids and cant afford expensive gifts. they all happy with that, and some said they will bring more than that, but thats up to them.

izacc,ethan and mya

i did not have a baby shower with my DS and i felt really left out because my family hosted one for another family member and not me. I decided that i would host my own with this child instead, when i told my sister in law she said she would host it. I think hosting your own baby is a good idea and there is nothing wrong with it.


I just had my baby shower, it was such a good day. We held it at my place cause that was the most convenient location but the Nana's organised all the games, prizes drinks and guest gifts. We did the catering.

At first I was a bit apprehensive as it did seem like a gift grabbing opportunity and corny but as it came nearer it was so exciting, it was real nice to celebrate a pregnancy. And to be honest everyone invited would of bought us something anyway but it really helped getting these things early on in the piece so we know what else we needed to get.

Don't feel bad about having a list of suggested items handy, some people just want to get you something you need. I felt really bad when I got a couple of things that I knew I didn't need but this will happen cause not everyone asks. Perhaps if you feel really uncomfortable about suggesting things you ask a friend to manage the list (so you don't know what your getting!) and then point people to her when they ask...cause they will ask. So best be prepared!

Hope the day is fantastic and you get treated like a princess...cause its the last time for awhile it will be all about you so cherish it!

Oh feel free to msg me if you want to know what games we played, they were a hoot!



If you wanna host your own baby shower then i say go for it!

I never had a baby shower when i was pregnant with DD and im not having one this time around either! I think that the people that mean the most to you will buy your baby presents anyway and give them to you when they come to visit in hospital or after you are home. I dont feel that you need an extra day to receive presents.

I have only ever been to one baby shower i took gifts to the shower and gifts to the hospital when we went to visit... i think thats a bit much really.
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