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I say he drinks too much.. Lock Rss

I feel so alone and just want to tell someone what I am going through.
I have no family that I can turn to and no friends that I think will understand.
I have been married for 2 years and together with this man for 3. We have an 18 month old daughter together and another one on the way in late May.
At the beginning we went out together drank together and it suited our lifestyle.. but since the babies have come along, I no longer drink and live that lifestyle.
He still drinks.. I say he drinks too much but he reckons I am exaggerating. Is 6 beers a night normal?

Then today when he had far too many beers we got into an argument and we had a bit of a struggle and he ended up punching me in the face.. the police came, and now I am here alone sitting at the computer thinking what I will do.

Will I leave..begin a life on my own, with my two children? Will I stay and try to work things out and demand he stop drinking! Whats it like being a single mum with two children? (not that he helps out much)
I'm just so scared.. feeling alone and feel like I am stuck!

This has happened before.. where he has had too much to drink then got violent.. but never to this extreme. Can a leopard change his spots?

Please someone give me some advice.

i really think you should leave.dont you think its a sign if he has always been violent but this is the first time he has hit you isnt that saying he is getting worse and dont think you should stay just for the kids in the long run it is worse for them do u really want them to see all that fighting and violence?? my mum stayed because she thought he would change and thought we needed a father and now me and my sisters are older we hate that she stayed for us we had a horrible childhood and she could have stopped it if she just left my father now she regrets it more than anything. so dont put yourself or your children through that it only takes one time he will never change it will just get worse so leave while your children are still young and they wont remember daddy hitting mummy!!!

He should NEVER hit you, but to hit you while you're carrying his baby??!?!?!?

I've never been in your shoes but I think for the safety of you and your children you should remove yourself from the situation until you sort out your relationship, or even if you wish to have one.

I have friends who were in a family with abusive fathers and they grew up to resent their monthers for staying in that same situation.

Get a support network around you and get yourself organised to leave. I cannot imagine how scarey it would be to "choose" to be a single mum but its better than the alternative.

I agree with the other girls especially if he is hitting you whilst pregnant. That is unforgivable.
Unfortunately the sad fact is that children who grow up in abusive homes are far more likely to go on to either accept the abusive behaviour of a partner or to be abusive themselves.
I know it is so much harder than it sounds to leave and I wish you the very best but making the first step leaving will be the toughest part and hopefully you will go on to meet someone who treats you and your babies really well.
All the best x

what happens if one day he gets drunk and hurts one of the kids???

i was in a similar situation and i had to bite the bullet and leave i was a 16 yr old single mother only 2 years ago... and ya know what no im in a FANTASTIC relationship and am preg with baby #2 and i dont look back...

im sure that you could find a good support network on here if you needed it...

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Hey... my partner drinks, everyday, not a lot his whole family drink they love the VB and im fine with his drinking habbits as he barely ever gets drunk during the week! He isnt violent towards me at all when he is drunk he gets very loving and attached lol! But its easy for people to say leave... its hard for you because you know the real him when he is not drunk and im sure you love him very much! maybe he is stuggling with becomming a dad and having a hard time changing his ways? give him the chance to change i say but to me a chance is ONE chance and if it EVER happend again i would leave untill he cleaned up his act because you cant have your kids exposed to that. Alcohol does bad things to people but some people just need some help to realise how bad they really are.
ooo i didnt see your pregg.. Nah thats bad, i wouldnt stay in the same house as him but i would still give him that chance! but its hard to say not ebing in that situation!
Unbeknown to us, this same thing happened to my best friend while she was pregnant and she stayed with him but didnt tell anyone. It got worse yet she still put up with it and stayed quiet. He kept feeding her promises saying itd get better and hed slow down or stop but it never did. In fact near the end it got to the point where hed hit her while she was holding her wee newborn, her parents found out accidentally and dobbed him in to the police. She was so brainwashed she still wanted to get back together with him. Her parents forced her to go see the Womans Refuge and as scary as that is they are really helpful and helped her out soooo much. Theres so much support for single mums in that situation that you wouldnt beleive and now shes so much happier her and her kids are out of that situation and hopefully the kids are young enough that it wont affect them. She is now a strong independant single mum coping very well and loving it. You can do the same hun. Dont put up with it, you are totally worth more! smile
i have recently left my partner, he also drank too much. he is an alcoholic who drinks every day. you say your husband drinks 6 a night? mine drank up to a carton a day. they never will change, my ex said he would stop drinking when the baby was born, but if anything he started drinking more, and our baby is a great baby, rarely cries, is a very happy little girl. we were together for nearly 9 yrs, but i had to leave in the end, as he was a violent drunk, and like you, the police got involved, and now there is a police imposed domestic violence order upon him. like you, i am now a single mother with a baby, although i only have the one. its hard, i wont deny it, ive only been a single mum for 13 days, but i left because i wanted my daughter to have a wonderful life, and that would never have been possible if we had stayed with her father.

i would say get out while you can, a leopard cant change his spots, i had hoped my ex would have, i loved him very much, but my babys life is worth more than the love i had for him. im slowly beginning to build my life back up, get my confidence back, but it is hard, very hard, to leave someone you spent most of your adult life with and start new with a baby, but you can do it, i have.

take care, i hope things work out for you, no drunk, violent man is worth it, even if he is the father or your child/ren.

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