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  5. mother in law is sending he crazy!!!

mother in law is sending he crazy!!! Lock Rss

hey just need to blow off some steam,
Well my mother in law has been doing this for a while now and its just sending me crazy. She tells me what to me all the time like you have to do your house work (i do do my hosue work and i dont need to be told to) and how to do things around my house, and the thing is she never dose her house work her panter dose and it just drives me crazy that she tell me what to do in my house when she dose not do it in her house. the other day i felt sick and was talkin to everone and i know what made me sick coz i get it all the time and she was telling it was not it. she is even telling me how to raise my baby befor it is born like ever time i tell her how i want to do things she saids no and tell me her away. im just worried about when the baby is born if i say no to something she wants to give it she will tell me yes iam going to give it to the baby. Coz i have a still birth early this year and she was telling me all the same things with this one, even when i told her that i did not want toys on my sons grave and only wanted flowers she told me yes she can put toys out there if she wants, i have talked to my panter and he has talked to her and she is still doing it so i talked to him againa and he said she is just lik that and he gives up.arrr im just worried about when i have this baby and the stress of this anyways thanks for reading this and sorry it is so long

Im sorry your mil is such a pain...

Mine was exactly the same she is a authority on raising children, house work blah blah. She knows it all and isnot afraid to tell me.

My mil never listened to any thing i asked her not to do regarding the children, and after her doing some stupied things while the children were in her care.

She no longer gets to have them for sleep overs. And her lack of interest in ds and the new baby means until she can respect me and ds and bubs she is not welcome around.

All i can say is you do what you want to do..

best of luck
good luck with yours as well. the thing is if i end up snapping at her and going off she is one of these people that will never like me again and i dont want that to happen. its just driving me crazy that she treats me like a kid.


My MIL is the same, telling me how to go about my housework when she never does her own, she stayed with us for a few months and still did nothing here!

After my DD was born she had an opinion about everything, ifI said don't do it, she would anyway, I'm glad that my MIL doesn't live nearby, but I can see it from your point of view, it is VERY frustrating.

She too is one of those people if you have a go at her she'd never like me again, but you know it's no skin off my nose anymore. I don't talk to her, email, anything I don't even send her pictures of my kids!

I do suggest that you take a stand with her, be firm, but polite, it's the only thing you can do, and if worst comes to worst, what is wrong with her not liking you? It might take the pressure off you trying to impress her! Plus then you can be more honest without feeling like you're walking on eggshells!

I hope everything works out for you sweetie!!

Ellie xx
hey, yeah the last couple of days i have been doing that it say what i want but in a polite way. i might have to say it a few times but she has been backing down, i guess she will come around if i keep it up and if she dont i will just say to her that if she dose not do things how i want to raise my kids i will have to stop bring them up here till things go the way i want them to. i will find a nicer way of saying it but i will have to put my foot down coz if i dont she will never listen to me or my kids for that matter.

HI Ladies,

Hoping I can join in... My worry is not only my MIL but also my SIL... they both are as bad as one an other I gues it runs in the Genes... They are both grots and take take take!! Over it They expect everything. MIL has just sold her house with FIL and expect my DH to paint their new bungalow(as they call it) before they move in. BUT i have said NO!! we are renovating at the moment and have to get ready for our baby! They expect DH to drop everything and go running and to make it worse we have to pay for the paint and briushes and rollers etc... OVER IT! They are shocking the whole family expect everything for nothing! I don't wnat them to have anything to do with my baby however I am not going to stop them from seeing it. It is my DH's family and i have to respect that.

I can guarantee though that they will not be having sleep overs until they clean the house and look after themselves a bit better...

Sorry for the rant but it must just be family in laws!!! SHOCKING!!

Jess x

Ahh im sorry your MIL is so horrible..i know how you feel..
The difference is, my MIL always does her housework and is so
obsessed with doing it, she literally runs her fingers across my
furniture for dust when she comes over!
She also tells me how to raise my son, constantly making me feel
like a little kid. She even still comes into my house and tells
her son, my DH, to take his hat off and to put his feet down off
the lounge, etc, and its his house not hers!!
I dont have much advice, I hope your partner is on your side about
it though, my DH is a mummy's boy and is always taking her side,
I eventually just got sick of it all and still try my hardest to
not let it get to me.
My MIL was exactly the same but I'm pleased to say that 2 and a half kids later (and she has 3 other grandchildren now), she has become a lot better.

I've totally lost it a few times with them and luckily after we had DS, my DH started to realise my perspective (the family we are creating is our utmost priority, and the families we came from MUST take 2nd place to that!) So, even though we've had a few huge run ins, they still talk to us and interestingly I feel they respect me a lot more (they see that their son/grandkids are my priority and that is what they really must respect).

And now I find roles have changed and MY mother is the one who criticizes and judges everything about how I raise my family while my MIL tends to be more supportive.

I hope this is what happens for you too (not with your mother taking it on but that MIL learns to support!) I think they feel threatened by us because perhaps they think (every generation must learn it too!) that their precious sons will love us more instead of realising that its not exactly more - its just TOTALLY DIFFERENT and when they finally learn and embrace that life does get easier.


while i have to say initally that my MIL wasn't too bad, i often felt like both of our parents were constantly telling us what we do wrong, how we should do things etc. now i know everyone's different but i found that as soon as DD was born both mothers settled down a lot- my parents need as occasional reminder to not pick but otherwise things have been ok. if mum harrasses me too much i just ignore her and go for a walk. if you can solve this problem tactfully you won't regret it as now DD loves being around her grandparents and we love spending time together. we did have to tlk to them a couple of times, and reiterate regularly some things they didn't agree with or didn't do with us but we seem to be over the worst of it now, and they ask us what we want done with her.

good luck with it- hang in there they might surprise you once bub is here.
I know how you feel! My MIL is the worst, where do I begin?
Well we had to live with her for about 8 months cos it is hard for young people to find a rental place in Syd and she was just awful. She was always saying how rude I am cos I don't talk and act all fake and happy when I come home from work cos I was tired all the time.
I was not allowed to use her washing machine but whenever I gave her clothes to wash she would take 2 weeks to wash them.
She wouldn't make dinner till 8pm by which time I was starving (I worked full time on my feet all day) but I wasn't allowed to use the kitchen to make my own dinner.
One time she made dinner early and served it and everything and then when I went to eat it she said I wasn't allowed to eat anything she made cos I was too rude. The incredibly rude thing I had done was not say hello to her when I got home, she was in the bathroom with the door closed singing loudly to herself.
She smoked heavily all the time in the house and I got asthma as a result (never had it before that). I asked her to smoke outside but she refused saying that it was too cold to smoke outside and she would rather be comfortable than me.
She's an alchoholic chain smoking gambling addict but she thinks she should be allowed to baby sit our child (no way). The wost part is she used to work in child care and still doesn't acknowledge that smoking is bad.
She tells everyone in DP's family that I am horrible and rude and all the rest of it.
One time I accidentally slammed the door so she walked in the room and started yelling at me about how horrible I am. Even when I got pregnant she refused to smoke outside. Luckily we moved out when I was 8 weeks preg.
She is awful if it were up to me I would never see her again and my child wouldn't have any contact with her either but DP is a mummy's boy so I have to compromise.
Ah it was good to get that out but I just wish she wasn't a part of my life!
I have been feeling the MIL stress lately, to the point where I have had a dream 4 times now that she steals my baby from the hospital and my partner then tells me it's ok she will be a better mum than me. I think it stems from her speaking to him about me when I'm not there.

But today I spent some time with her and my SIL and I feel a little better.

I'm going to a baby market with her tomorrow and starting to improve.

My mil is NASTY. Unfortunatley i have known her for 15 years and she is getting worse with age. Ever since i first met her she would make snide comments to me, blame me for things i didn't do, she would even make up stories about me and say i was mean to her and say things i never said. Craziest thing she did was make a voo-doo doll in my image, it was like a mini me, and one day when DH and i arrived at her house to stay for the weekend she forgot to remove the doll off our bed in the guest room, you should have seen the pins sticking out of its head!!! She raced into the room to remove it, i asked her who the doll was meant to be(full on knowing it was me)and she told me to "never mind". she is a nutter! wacko I have a cute little chihuahua, and she has even tried to kill it.

Before i had our beautiful baby i would tolerate her to keep the peace. But now we have our beautiful baby i want nothing at all to do with her AT ALL. She is dangerous, you might think i am over reacting, but she is, she calls my baby names,tells her to shut up, which is the last straw, this is abuse. She now ignores me (unless she wants something), and has hissy fits when she does not get her own way, or is not the centre of attention.

One day while she was visiting us, she disappeared for half and hour, my DH had to get in the car and go and look for her, we live near a rest area, and DH later found her standing underneath a tree crying,nut case! her reason for this episode was because apparently i had been mean to her!
Which i hadn't, it is much safer for me not to talk to her at all(i say hello etc to be polite and the more mature person), because everything i say she twists and holds things against me.But funnily enough she was quite happy after he had found her, because she got what she be made a fuss of and the centre of attention.

So a weekend that was supposed to be about getting to know their beautiful grandchild, turned out to be all about her, she has to be the centre of attention and in control of every situation. Things are so bad now i just feel very uncomfortable and almost sick to my stomach even when DH talks to her on the phone. I am sorry about this long and boring rant but i am glad to read everyone elses stories, i don't feel so alone. Thanks for reading. smile smile
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