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Older Step Son Lock Rss

Hi all

I am almost 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I also have a seven year old step son from my husbands previous relationship.

Although he lives in New Zealand with his mother, he visits with us every school holidays and my husband has a very close relationship with him, I also have a great relationship with him.

He has two half brothers that live wtih him in NZ but when with us he has always been No. 1 and never had to share his fathers time wtih anyone else. Ever since telling him that we are expecting this baby he has had concerns about how the birth of this baby is going to affect him (quite a natural emotion for any child I am sure).

I guess my question is do we put his mind at ease that he is still as important as he always has been but at the same time make him understand that this new baby is also very important and that at times he will have to share his fathers time with his new brother or sister.

My other concern is that although we get along very well he has never asked for anything in the way of affection from me and I have always felt that, he already has a mother and that is not the role I should try to play in his life. However, with the impending arrival of my own child I worry that he will feel the difference in the way I intereact with this child compared to him.

I just don't want to do anything to make my step son feel left out in any way. At the same time I don't want to promote a atmosphere for the future where this new child feels like they come second whenever my stepson comes to visit.

Sorry for the long post but I have had this on my mind for the most part of this pregnancy.

Any advice is appreciated


hi. first of all, congratulations. with your step son, maybe when your baby is born, sit down with him and explain exactly what this new arrival will mean to him and the dynamics of the family. because he is 7, he may understand more than you think. maybe it could be his special job with his dad to bath the baby? or he could sit with your partner while he feeds the baby. encourage him to play with his little brother, and explain that one day they will be albe to run around together. try to make sure all 3 of them get time together. your step son will understand eventually that you dont love either one more than the other, but its a different kind of love (if that makes sense?) hopefully, if they get off on the right foot, they will be great friends one day.

Tania. WA, Daniel - 26/01/06... smile

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