Be comfortable in your skin – this is a judgement free zone. Find out more!

Huggies Forum

Huggies® Ultimate
Newborn Nappies

Learn More

is this a selfish request Rss

my son and his partner are expecting anyday now my son rang and told his dad that he didnt want me to be there in the waiting room for the birth something which I had already decided not to be had planned already that we all would wait at home for the news and had planned to go up after they had settled with the bub but he told his father that none of us were to go to the hospital at all we were to wait 24 hrs or wait until they bought the baby home they are young she is 16 he is 20 it is our first grandchild so we are all looking forward to seeing him. i never imposed this on my family for our first born.and do understand but if bub is born during the day wanted to go up later that day and this would be reasonable as to the time bub arrives as to when we visit. this jhas really upset me as her mum will be there for the birth.am i being unfair to want to join in his good news can you girls help put my mind at rest this is teraring my emotions apart something that is to be a joyous occassion is turning in a nightmare.
While it's very understanding that you want to be there, your feelings of being left out are also quite understandable. With my first child I had my mother and mother-in-law with me while I gave birth. However while I do not mean to upset you, I ended up wanting to have my mother-in-law out of the room as she was situated in such a position that mande me feel really uncomfortable.

Being that as it may, your son's partner being so young may want her mother there as she has a close relationship with her. I can only give you waht I think is the reason for your sons decision, and that is, maybe they have been given some infromation that may be hard for him to tell you.

If his partner is going to have the baby during the day she may need time to recoperate, and have time to bond with the child. Remember she is young and may not realise what it intales to being a mother, she will have to come to terms that she has to look after their child. I am not saying that your son would not be apart of the raising of his child.

I hope you and your son can work out this problem, and if you feel that you need this explaining more ring your son and ask him. Do not make it as if he is taking something away from you as this may cause unwanted stress and tension.

little monkeys

You sound like a very caring mum and grandma to be. I think it is lovely that you had already decided that you would wait at home for the news of the delivery before going in to see the new bub. Have your son and his partner been doing ante natal classes? I know that with my first I was quite freaked out after the classes - I was determined that the room would be cleared everytime I needed to breastfeed etc. Also, at the classes they emphasised the importance of the inital bondig stage for mum, dad and bub. Let me tell you as soon as Lachie was born I couldn't wait to show him off to my family and was thrilled when my brothers, dad and inlaws all arrived. I didn't want them to leave.

May I suggest that you say to your son and his partner that you respect their wishes but if after the delivery they decide that they do want visitors you would love to come in and visit your first grandchild? Your son may be burting to show bub off and if you tell him you will be receptive if he changes his mind it will be easy for him to call you.

I am sorry this has turned nightmarish for you - given that mum-to-be is 16 she is probably very scared and doesn't realise the effect it is having on you.

I wish you all the best.

You are not being selfish, its understandable how you feel, but at the end of the day it is their descision. I don't think waiting 24 hours is a bad thing, your son's partner will probably need her rest. As for her mum being there, well thats underdstandable because it is her mum and she has obvisously decided that she wants her there. Don't feel bad or left out, I know it probably seems like a personal attack against you but it most likely isn't. i'm going to have a bub in about 6 weeks and i've already decided I only really want my partner there, I dont want anyone else in the delivery room and afterwards all i'll want to do is sleep most likely, its nothing personal against my family, its just how I feel.

Trust me, if you let them do what they want then things will go more smoothly and you will get to see your little grandchild.

Bec xo
Hey!
I can feel were u are coming from! But For your 16 y/o daughter in law-She probably sees u as a dragon or something!
(I did this with my MIL!)
But as I had Joel at 5.30am-I deperately wanted to parade him around! LOL!
And I couldnt wait for my in laws to come and meet their second grandson!
But they came like 2 days later...too give me my space.
Maybe u should call your son before going up...as to avoid 'B.I.T.C.H.I.N.E.S.S'

But as I was saying-at first I wasnt comfortable with my MIL! But after living with her for a year now-She is like my best friend! lol

Your daughter in law has a lot of growing up to do. Be there to help. But wait to be asked is all I can say.

dinners ready!

2 more sleeps

Sign in to follow this topic