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It's BROKEN! Lock Rss

Ok so I know this may be bit personal for some, but I really need to ask about how long it takes to resume having sex after stitches. It has been 12 weeks now after the birth, I had a minor tear and was stitched, it seems to have healed properly (according to the OB) but it still hurts when we try to have sex, and even when I just gently try to stretch the area (this is what the OB suggested to do) it hurts. It's really upsetting me. And will it ever be pain-free, the way it used to be???
So if anyone doesn't mind sharing their experience, how long did it take for you?

i had really bad tearing with my first and it hurt for about 12 months... at first it was really bad even with heaps of lube adn being really gentle it still hurt too much but after a while it got less painfull, then one time it just stopped hurting. then 3 months later we had our 2nd baby and it started all over again, it only took a few tries to not hurt after our 2nd was born.

have u tried using lube? make sure u lube urself and him and make sure ur really in the mood before u try. HTH

I know of one lady who had major tearing at birth and was given some numbing cream to use to start with. Maybe ask when you go to the Dr again.

I had a 3rd degree tear & an episiotomy with my DD, had sex for the first time after getting the okay from the gyno at the 6 week check up and have not experienced any pain or discomfort at all, which im quite suprised about.


i had a little tear as well and it hurt me while having sex my bub is now 4.5 months and it doesnt hurt anymore i felt the same way but it does get better

good luck keep ur chin up
i had a 4th degree tear, and didn't even attempt to have sex until 13 weeks after the birth. it was still very uncomfortable for about 6 months afterwards (although my tear was pretty bad, so not saying it will be the same for you if yours was a minor tear) but it is expected to be a bit (or a lot) uncomfortable because of the scar tissue. but eventually it does start to feel normal again, so don't worry too much!

it can also be you worrying about it that makes it feel worse - if you are not relaxed enough. use a lot of lubrication to help you along, if you have time try having a nice relaxing bath before hand, or even a glass of wine if you're not breastfeeding.

Oh that could have been written by me, its so familiar! You poor thing - last thing you need with a newborn, you just want it all to be normal again!

Our bubs is 11 weeks old, stitches have healed however there is apparantly a build up of scar tissue just on the inside that has meant I have healed tighter than beforehand. Now that sounds like a mans dream lol but it means sex is painful and needs to be taken really slow. Also have to try to get 'it' ready myself beforehand which is not very romantic and it still hurts on the inside though its all healed? So its painful and pleasureable which is tough. I am on a waiting list to be recut and restitched to remove the build up of scar tissue. But I don't know why it hurts on the inside, sometimes like a stabbing pain when we try to make love. But it has started to get easier/better, the first few times we tried there was no way it was gonna happen, now we can make love but its still a bit sore. So there's been progress.

So if the OB thinks all is well with you maybe go back as it shouldn't hurt if its all healed correctly. Though I do agree with Mum<3sJosh about being relaxed enough as being tense will obviously make it worse and definetely use a good lubrication

have to agree with most of the pp with this one.

I tore in 4 places after DD (3x 1st degree tears and 1x 2nd degree) which all required stitches. It got to DD's 4 month check up and I still hadn't been able to do anything with DH because it was just too painful so I spoke to my gp about it when I took DD for her check up. My gp suggested that first of all I wasn't to focus on the sex side of things but to just have physical contact with DH - sit on the couch, kissing, cuddling, back rubs etc. She said that we needed to spend more time on the lead up so that when we did get to the point of being more intimate I was very relaxed (if you tense up because you're worried it will hurt it is more likely to hurt). When we did get to the point of sex she said to use lubricant and lots of it - something to do with pregnancy/labour can change things down there a bit so that the lubricant is necessary/helpful. (sorry for tmi here) I found that for the first little while I needed to take things slow etc but DH was really good and understanding about it so that helped a lot too.

I only tore the slightest bit with DD and didnt even require stiches and it was still painful til my DD was about 4 months old. No one could explain why but it just was this way.

To start with it was extremely painful but slowly but surely it got less painful and more pleasurable. DH just had to behave for a while

Hi I was exactally the same only had minor tear and few stitches , but I looked 'down there' and I can see it doesnt look right . The scar is so tight kind of pulling , its been over a year since DS was born and every time we have sex even after alot of warm up and loads of lube it still hurts and most times I tear again sad
I hate it because I love sex and its making me crazy because I know that its going to happen everytime .I hope it goes back to normal and real soon !
No wonder I couldn't find this thread again! - I put it in the wrong section, Preganancy??? DER!! lol

Anyway, thanks for the replies ladies. I guess there is a lot worse cases out there than mine which makes me feel better, but sorry for those ladies with REALLY bad tears. I guess I will just have to be patient (or more like DH will have to be patient) and take it slowly but surely. I never thought about it taking this long to heal, thought we'd be all good to go after the 6wks you have to wait! There are sooooo many things about preg and birth and babies that you can never be fully prepared for...

We take it slow and use lots of lube, but I think half the problem is my fear which makes it very hard to relax, I tense up as soon as he goes anywhere near that area, lol! Even with lots of foreplay and one or two orgasms already (sorry if TMI) and I am still not ready down there for penetration sad ... Might have to have a few glasses of wine first to help me relax next time.

I had bad pain until about 7 months after having dd. It still hurts sometimes now and she is 16 months old.

Half the reason it hurt so much for me was because i always thought so much about it before sex and i couldnt relax enough therefore it hurt more
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