apparently im too moody!

hi,
not sure if anyone else is in this situation, but i just want to vent.
im 28wks with my little princess. last week my partner sat me down and said he loved me but wasnt in love with me anymore. he said ive been moody and he has found it hard to know how im going to be at any time. he has moved out and is staying with a mate of his. whilst we have been trying to talk and work things out, i now have the very real reality that i may be a single mum. i am so scared. i know im going to struggle financially, and whilst my family, and his, will be there to help, i feel this is my life over with. dont get me wrong, but this pregnancy wasnt exactly planned. i am angry at him because he can be a 'sometimes' father. he can come and go and when he is gone, he can be dating etc, but me, i feel this is it. i grew up in a single parent home, and my mum hardly ever dated. and is now on her own.
i am scared and really dont know what to do. dont even know if i should be trying to work things out, or just start focussing on what im going to do and concentrating on that.
thanks for allowing me to vent smile

aww HUGS!!
Has it just been since you've fallen pregnant that you have been extra moody?
You might need to point out you're not normally like this, just that your hormones are all over the place at the moment.
Do YOU want to work the relationship out? Does HE want to give it a go, even if it is small steps at a time? These are things you need to focus on at the moment if you want the relationship to work, but you both need to be on the same page. If you feel he is not worth it or he is not willing to budge then you'll know what to do, but seriously, I do hope you work it out for the sake of all of you!

um hope you are ok..... maybe he just needs some time out or if he is gone for good could you move back in with your parents to get the help you will need when baby arrives etc...

check out to see what you are eleagible for family assistance etc.....

have a sleep write a list... because i am sure its not just one sided you may have had some clues before now....

i have had a pretty crappy pregnacy (being hospitalised 3 times and having a couple of health scares)i have defiantely been moody, and i admit that, but yeah i think they are directly from my hormones. moving out isnt an option at this stage as i have a mortgage on my home. i think the problem is that he has been talking to his mates, who have no children, and they have been telling him that mood swings arent normal (dont ask!) i did point out to him that they probably arent the best people to get advice from. he did also say last night that he feels he is now locked down for good. he did very quickly point out that he didnt mean to say that, and it came out very wrong. im struggling because if we try and work things out, one of us is all for working it out, but the other is annoyed and not interested, and then vice versa. we seem to not be on the same page with each other at the same time. i told him last night that i wanna give it some time with us not talking to each other - see if the absence makes the heart grow stronger saying actually works. if that doesnt resolve it, well i guess it will just be mum and bubs!

You poor thing, big hugs.... I know from my experience that I am one of the lucky ones, I am now 33 weeks pregnant and my partner has stood by me the whole time, baby was planned but unexpectantly happened alot quicker then we realised.
I am normally a very happy go lucky person and nothing really worries me, on some occassions I have became a little moody or ***. We went crabbing one day and he did not pack the fishing rods, I was ready to walk home to get them - which I didn't, even though we wern't going to use them, I just wanted them, but the hormones do make you do some crazy emotional things and my partner has told me as his point of view, it is scary, he doesn't fully understand the hormone balance and why we do crazy scary things, like cry over three drops of milk on the ground or you cry when you hear your best friend is engaged and as sad as this is, I laughed and cried at the same time when a relative passed away.
Maybe you need sometime out and re-evaluated the situation with your partner, it is a scary situation for both of you, especially if it is not planned.
At the moment I am staying down south with my in-laws while he is up north working for 7 weeks, as there is not a great deal of medical help up where we live, they are great, supportive and understanding and I know from my experience that absence makes the heart grow alot more fonder and we are really close and the count down is beinging until we see each other again.
I wish you all the best for you and I hope that you can come to some type of arrangment with your partner, maybe he needs to understand that we do, do still crazy things while beinging pregnant and after the baby comes it will all settle down again.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I am thinking of you and hope that everything does work out for the better.
More HUGS, you need them!

If he's that supportive (hear the dripping sarcasm) maybe you're better off on your own, even if he sticks around the reality for most mums is that you do all the child care and night waking anyhow even if there is a man in the house he is just an extra mouth to feed and pick up after. Or maybe I'm cynical and should be ignored. Either way good luck.

hi,
not sure if anyone else is in this situation, but i just want to vent.
im 28wks with my little princess. last week my partner sat me down and said he loved me but wasnt in love with me anymore. he said ive been moody and he has found it hard to know how im going to be at any time. he has moved out and is staying with a mate of his. whilst we have been trying to talk and work things out, i now have the very real reality that i may be a single mum. i am so scared. i know im going to struggle financially, and whilst my family, and his, will be there to help, i feel this is my life over with. dont get me wrong, but this pregnancy wasnt exactly planned. i am angry at him because he can be a 'sometimes' father. he can come and go and when he is gone, he can be dating etc, but me, i feel this is it. i grew up in a single parent home, and my mum hardly ever dated. and is now on her own.
i am scared and really dont know what to do. dont even know if i should be trying to work things out, or just start focussing on what im going to do and concentrating on that.
thanks for allowing me to vent smile

Hi
I wanted to reply because i'm in your position too but have been for a while now. I have a DD 2yrs 4mths and DS 12days. EX-DF left me when I was 15 weeks along with DS. He said he wasn't in love with me too then changed his mind saying he wasn't sure. We had fights then I asked him to stay with his mum for a weekend as we needed time apart for him to work out wat he wanted. I was hoping for the whole 'time apart makes the heart grow fonder' but it didn't work. He moved out permanently when I was 17weeks. In this time it has been so hard emotionally because like you I thought about him being able to go out and find someone else etc but knew that when I have bubs I could too if I wanted.
Long story short there were many ups and downs as I still wanted to be with him and he just kept using me and lying to me (i found out he was having an 'emotional affair' with 2 girls). Now I've been single for 6 months and still have problems with Ex but I'm happier on my own. You work out your finances because you have to, you ask for help if you need it. If family want to be there and clean when your tired or when bubs comes say yes thank you. Accept the help while you can. You will have your body back in 12 weeks and things will start looking up. Don't think about meeting anyone else b/c that'll happen when the time is right, just concentrate on you for now.
I got my hair done differently, bought some new clothes and started looking after myself and I feel so much better.
Don't get me wrong it is hard (I still get upset especially b/c 5 days after giving birth I found out he'd been seeing someone for 2 months and had lied about it) but don't let it get you down too much. You may feel your life is over now (I know I did) but it isn't. You've just hit a hurdle and you'll get through it with or without him. (hopefully with him)
It gets easier, it really does.
I'm sorry I've rambled so much and it's not all about staying together but I wanted you to see there is light at the end of the tunnel.
If you wanna talk more feel free to pm me.
Hope your ok and keep your chin up. Talk to him and try to get on the same page.
All the best and hope things work out the way you want them to.

thanks abigail,
its frustrating that they have 50% involvement in making a baby, yet think they can have 0% responsibility for it afterwards. i must admit my partner has said he still wants to be involved, including being at the birth, however as i said to him, why on earth would i want my ex being at the birth and seeing me in positions that...well u know what i mean. it must have been so hard to not have him around from such an early stage, but if he has decided to find 'comfort' in other women, well that may be a blessing in disguise. it would be great to know life doesnt completely stop after having a baby, but its just annoying his life can go on from now if he chooses it.

thanks abigail,
its frustrating that they have 50% involvement in making a baby, yet think they can have 0% responsibility for it afterwards. i must admit my partner has said he still wants to be involved, including being at the birth, however as i said to him, why on earth would i want my ex being at the birth and seeing me in positions that...well u know what i mean. it must have been so hard to not have him around from such an early stage, but if he has decided to find 'comfort' in other women, well that may be a blessing in disguise. it would be great to know life doesnt completely stop after having a baby, but its just annoying his life can go on from now if he chooses it.

It's good that he is still wanting to be involved my ex is he was at the birth of our ds as I personally thought it was importnat for him and plus he got me pregnant he cn be with me through the pain lol have you got someone you can rely on to be there with you if he isn't? I believe my ex moving on is a good thing it kinda just makes me realise that I really don't want him back. It is annoying that they seem to have more of a life after they leave and we are at home with the kids but remember you have a beautiful baby to care for soon and he is really the one that misses out. My ex missed ds's first bath, he'll miss his first smile, first steps etc but I wont. smile
I also think that my daughter has grown up alot better without him around as she has set rules and routine and because i knew i'd be on my own I ot her used to the idea of another baby before he came along so now she absolutley loves her brother.
Like i said it gets so muh easier and better and you WILL have a life. I just believe it will be more fulfilling with having your baby with you. Kids complete it I think.

I don't think anyone can tell you whether you should try to work out your relationship or not. I want to share with you the story of my friend. She and her partner were living together and decided to have a baby. Half way along in her pregnancy he decided it was all too much and left her! It certainly hasn't been easy, and she has a lot of support, but her DD is now 4 and six months ago she met a really nice man. They are now planning to move in together and probably get married next year.

All I am trying to say that it would feel like the end of your world, but if it's meant to be it will all work out. Just remember to take some time out to relax and do things for yourself. Good luck.

thanks everyone.
its nice to have some reassurance. funny how many men do this i guess. but maybe its best to know now, then in 4 months time when i have a newborn and am tired and needing the support. can report that much has changed. ive decided to give him a week to 'sweat' and then see what he thinks. worse thing is that i have my first anti-natal class on saturday, and since my mum is away, looks like i'll be going to that on my own. guess im not the first in the world though sad

thanks everyone.
its nice to have some reassurance. funny how many men do this i guess. but maybe its best to know now, then in 4 months time when i have a newborn and am tired and needing the support. can report that much has changed. ive decided to give him a week to 'sweat' and then see what he thinks. worse thing is that i have my first anti-natal class on saturday, and since my mum is away, looks like i'll be going to that on my own. guess im not the first in the world though sad

It is better to know now at least you can deal with your relationship and emotions before welcoming your baby into the world. have you got a friend that can go with you to your ante-natal class? you don't have to be on your own don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. you never know he may have pulled his act together before saturday and realise what he's got to lose and want to be there with you if thats what you want.
wish you all the best and just relax and look after yourself dont stress
xo