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young DF going out Lock Rss

hey smile

I'm almost 21 (may) and so is my DF. Before i became pregnant, i never really went out clubbing. DF would invite his friends over and we would drink etc, go to parties. but i wouldnt say we were 'party animals'...
I left home at 15 so have done my fair share of boozing, etc etc.

Since becoming pregnant, and actually physically looking pregnant, i've been finding it hard to not get jealous of my fiance when he goes out drinking and what not..Its not very often..Maybe once a month, if he can be bothered!. . .but i watch him get ready to go out and it actually sometimes makes me cry ( i dont cry in front of him cos i feel like a ***).
i dont ever go out anymore. this year, alot of our friends are having their 21st, and i dont even wanna go to them cus of me being pregnant. i just dont feel right being around all the drinking and stuff. i feel like a right goober! i see my freinds during the day..but even they have stopped visiting me, just cos all i talk about is babies etc.

Don't get me wrong, i LOVE being pregnant. i love my gorgeous baby bump!! i love feeling and looking pregnant. Love the fact tht me and DF are starting our own family, and are soon going to have a little one smile
I just dont know how to find the good place! i think its so unfair how DF can go out boozing with his mates and i have to stay here and watch crappy T.V lol
I would never say "you cant go out!"....but only cos i feel mean for making him stay with me...
"get used to it" is what everyone tells me..but thats not what i wanna hear!!!

Sorry for the novel lol i just really need to vent!

Anyone else feel like this?
I was in the exact same position. I am 21 and have a DS who is six weeks old. I know exactly how you feel.

Heaps of my friends turned 21 while I was pregnant. I went to all of their birthdays. I got so tired so quickly though and would leave after only a couple hours or end up asleep on their couch if it was at their house. This seemed like a better option to me than staying home all the time, even though I didnt always enjoy myself. I would have gone crazy.

I drank quite a bit before I fell pregnant. Probably each fri and sat night, besides maybe a couple, since I turned 18. I found it suprisingly easy to just give it all up. Id had enough anyways, but I did miss the social side of it all.

Could you maybe get DF to keep inviting his friends to your house to keep you involved in the social side of it? Do you have any friends that dont like to go out or drink? You could invite them over or go out to dinner the nights when DF decides to go out. I found that if DF spent enough time with me and I got out of the house with mates it didn't bother me if he went out, I actually preferred it I was sick of his friends being over here all the time.

Get dressed up and call a friend and just have lunch at a cafe or go get your hair done. Do AHYTHING to get yourself out the house and you hopefully should feel better.

I know what you mean when you say everyone tells you to 'get used to it', but it certainly doesnt make it any easier to deal with.

BTW your baby bump is gorgeous! Good luck.
aw... i do understand. Just remember, you are about to have the best thing in the world! I used to get jealous - even after i had my DD i would get jealous of friends, living free lol

But now, my DD is six months and it is the best thing in the whole world - better than clubs even dinner out!

So bare with it because it will be all worth it!Do you have any friends with babies and even just some good girlfriends that will have nice days out with you? I know you could go to the twenty firsts but i was like you,i didnt want to when i was pregnant. I preferred doing things in the day where there was no drinking and no "risky behaviour" lol

I was 6 mths pregnant at my 21st birthday! And well wasn't that a buckets of laughs!! lol.. Now My son is three years old turning four!! It's hard to let those jealous feeling go away but in time you have to remember your looking after a gorgeous family and becoming a gorgeous family. Just tell your partner when thje time comes i need you to settle down. Not saying you cant go out just maybe one a mth etc... This has worked in our family but in saying that i get to go out also and i have a great time now my children are a little bit older and well im still young enough to enoug myself heheeh!!!
I am 28 and I still sometimes feel like that too. Even though my DS is now 13 months old I still feel like I am missing out on things sometimes, especially because all my friends are still single and building their careers.

I found that even though I love being a mother I needed something that I can do to have "me" time and something that will fit into my current situation. I chose to do a corespondance course and this is my time away from being a wife/mother/housewife. For you it can be something completely different so you just have to find something that will make you happy. So when you DF is going out instead of staying in front of TV you can be busy doing that.
Thanks ladies for all the replies.

I defiantly wouldn't change anything right now for a night out. Can't wait to start my little family smile

DF does understand where i come from, probaly not to the full extent (they will never understand what its like to be go through what we do!!!) But its enough to take my feelings into consideration and respect it

smile defiantly lucky in that way. We have had to grow up very fast as baby was a surpise (didn't find out i was pregnant till i was 15weeks!!) so im very thankfull he does what he does for us..and he defiantly deserves to go out every once in awhile! treat himself smile
haha awww hun well at least he understand and respects your feelings, thats a start!!!

I moved out of home when I was 15 as well and moved in with my now DF. I had always had responsibilities thrown on me and have never had a childhood or what people would call " having fun " it was either school, look after everyone or run the house. When I got with DF he was way past his party days lol so we would just have a few drinks together at home and that's it, which is pretty much what I prefer anyway smile

I have a one year old and lately have been having feelings like you lol like i'm now missing out on something and looking at all these photos of people I used to be friends with out partying etc and DF being able to go out whenever it pleases him, though he doesn't but just knowing he has that freedom to do so can make you jealous.

But then you remember that none of them things can even slightly equal to the amount of happiness you feel when you know your going to have a family, a beautiful baby to look after and care for smile

Everyone has these feelings so don't feel guilty wink
Defiantly am going to start a "pamper box"....since DF is starting to go out more then his "once a month".
But i figured, enjoy that while you can, cos once baby is here, thats it!! lol


when my bestie was prego, and her dp went out on the booze, she always rang me up and we organized girls nites, like going to the pictures, or getting snack food and having a night in with some old school movies, we would put on our pajamas,she'd have grape juice id have a wine, it was great fun. or we would play singstar or buzz etc. one night we bought a whole bunch of crafty stuff and made art work for her bubs room. that way you have company, and you feel like your doing something other then sitting at home feeling left out and all by yourself, waiting for a drunkin dp to get home
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