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Wondering about my partner & I relationship Lock Rss

My partner and I have always been happy. Never really had a fight. Never really argued or anything like that. But lately I feel so far away from him. I am worried about the baby and getting things ready for him. And I am trying to relax a bit because of my BP. And my partner doesnt understand why i am worried. Over the last week we are spending more and more time apart and when I stay at his over night I honestly cant wait until I get back to my house.
I know that we have only known 3 weeks that I am pregnant, and thats not the issue, but because I "popped" out all of a sudden it is a bit of a surpirse. And now I feel quite fat (I know i shouldnt but It only took a week and now i am huge)
And it annoys me that he doesnt understand that I do feel so fat and that I dont want to go out everyday and see all our friends. He doesnt understand that I am tired most of the day and I just want to rest. And then when I try to explain these things to him he just doesnt understand and then he thinks that i am having a go at him.
I try and talk to him about how he is feeling about the baby and if he is worried about anything and he usually just cuts me off or changes the subject. He tells me he is excited about bub, but he doesnt act it.
I dont know what i am suppose to do to get him talking to me.
I really want his support and i dont want to get annoyed with him.
I just not sure what to do, Has anyone else had these kinds of problems or issues with there partners.
It could be your hormones. Some women don't enjoy being close with their partners at all while they're pregnant. I wasn't one of them but I know a couple of my friends who had this problem. Once they had the baby things went back to normal.

Your partner might be a little overwhelmed himself, it's never easy knowing your life will change forever once you know you're having a baby. In my opinion just sit down with him and talk about the situation.. it sounds like you want to let it out as well smile

I found my husband only became a lot more interested once we started going to antenatal classes. If I read something online about the baby and sent him the link, he would only read the first few lines and get bored. But the classes helped lots. And to be honest there is only so much for men to understand during the pregnancy. Their bodies are not changing and they don't feel bub's movement later on in the pregnancy, so it's all you say that really counts for them. Once they see the baby and hold them in their arms, their feelings change completely smile
Hey chick smile

The thing i have learnt about males during pregnancy, is that they will probaly never understand what it's like. They don't get how tired we get..How fast our bodies change and the impact it has on us. What its like to share your body! the aches and pains. the worries we feel when we think about becoming parents, looking after our little ones. They are just not wired to to that!
furstrating! i know!
It is all so real to us because it is physically happening to us. But to them, it's only words and seeing us change.

I know you guys have been hit pretty hard with this pregnancy, and haven't really had time to just relax, and soak it all up as you don't have much time left till your little one is here!
I think males need just as much, if not more time, to realize what id happening. I betcha hes just as scared and worried as you! But you know what males are like, they don't wanna talk about anything!
When we found out i was pregnant, my DF went to the pub after work, then to his friends, then came home and had a party (it was wednesday i might add blink ) I didnt know what the heck was going on. I pulled him into the bedroom and said what the!!!????
And he just burst into tears sad
He was trying to take it all in my getting munted (silly boy). It was all to much for him, and instead of talking to me about it, he tried to find answers by getting drunk.
I don't agree with what he did,. I felt so alone and hurt.But im grateful because he needed to do it before he could talk to me...I look at it has his vent.

I don't know your partner, but i am sure he is a lovely man. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. It can be so lonely.
I do believe that he is just as scared as you are, is probaly wondering the same things. But he will never just straight out say that to you.
Maybe go out for dinner, or make him a lovely dinner, and try get him to talk then? You need to have a relaxed setting i think, to really get him to open up..
Some males are funny right up until they hold their little one in their arms.But i believe if you try go about this the right way, instead of confronting him head on, you will really connect.

I find writing everything down the way i get across to my DF. But that is only because my words are better on paper then been said coming out my mouth. I make an awful mess of things when i just say them, cos i don't really think about what i say lol tongue

I do wish you well!!
Times are tough! but you will get through them!!

Thanks. Yeah i might sit down and try and talk to him about it all.
i would try writing a letter.
you seem to be able to express what you want to say through the written word (based on your posts) so maybe if you put it all down on paper you can say everything you want without it turning into a fight and without him changing the subject. he can read it without interrupting you and vice versa and once he's had a chance to let it sink in, he might be more receptive to a conversation.

sometimes in the past when ive had trouble communicating with my DH i have written him a letter and given him the space to read it and he has always approached me afterwards and talked to me once he's understood exactly where im coming from and what im feeling. and i always make sure to write how i love him, understand his feelings and am proud of him (or whatever is appropriate to the topic) so that he doesnt feel as though it is me against him.

might be worth a shot smile
Hey don't worry you're not alone. My DP hasn't really been all that sympathetic through my pregnancy cuz I had a really breezey time and up until I was about 34 weeks when I started getting tired and all the rest of it he didn't really seem all that bothered. We're a week away now and he's really showing how excited he is, it is different for men, they don't feel how we do. He didn't understand that all I want to do is stay in my batcave and never see anyone either until I had a meltdown over it. I'm so anti-social right now I dare someone to blink in my direction! laugh
Men are pretty shocking when it comes to emotions. Come that time of the month they're pretty scared of us, let alone when we're pregnant and it's like constant PMS!!!!
It overwhelms them. They like to fix problems and it's hard when we just want to vent. 'If you're upset, then do something to fix it, simple as that' they think, and they try to say something or offer a solution that seriously falls short of what we need from them. And when we turn our back on it, they feel powerless, or think that there really isn't a problem at all. <img src='<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' />
Im sure he does care very strongly about you, don't worry about that. You've both been given a huge suprise and you're dealing with it in different ways, you especially because of hormones.
One of the bonuses about being pregnant is that we can actually ask our men to do something to help us. If you're feeling tired, ask him to help you to the couch or to bed, or to organise something for dinner. If your feeling low, ask him to hold you. As you get bigger, he will have to do more jobs for you ie helping off the couch!! lol. Oh, and be specific- men don't take hints. Tell him what can he do physically, or say to help you. eg " honey, I'm really scared, would you please hold me? It would help calm me down' or something along those lines.

Because so far you've had a fairly care-free relationship with limited arguing/fighting, it's also going to be a big shock for both of you to be expressing negative feeling or fears etc. It's not the end of the world if you fight or argue or find yourselve on opposing sides. It's how you end the fight that matters. If you can attempt to understand the others point of view when all is vented, if you can admit to when you were wrong and downplay when you're right, and still end with a 'sorry, I love you', you're on the right track. It's a new kind of relationship you'll be navigating, and it will change as both of you change after bubs is born. Try to listen to each other and work together. It will be a challenge, but one that will hopefully form a wonderful strong family. Good luck smile
Just try & relax hun, you might be imagining things that aren't really there. It's a really scary, exciting, emotional, overwhelming time! For both of you. If you feel like you need a bit of your own space, that is absolutely fine. All relationships go through ups & down's. Ride it out. I'm sure everything will go back to normal.
Hi there, Yes i know how you feel.. I have been with my partner now for nearly 3 years and this pregnancy is a miracle, he has low sperm count and i have pos, but latley i have been getting regular time of the mths and the mth of feb must have been the one to concieve.. since i have told him the news he has and has not been excited, its been weird actually. i even thought his parents would be excited about it, there first grand child but they turned and said how can you afford it.. i have been feeling a little unsure and weird about if he really wants this or not. It should be an exciting time but the way he acts is weird. He does rub my tummy a little occassionaly and asks me how is bub going?? but i dont think reality has hit him.. and the same with me with the symptons, tired, emotional, all of that he doesnt understand either. trying to explain it to them is a difficult task. I just hope once i show more and he sees the baby when its a littl bigger might change him and he might start getting excited and be happy.. cross fingers... deep down inside me i am soooo happy and want him to be happy to.
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