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  5. Putting the ultrasounds on facebook INSENSITIVE?

Putting the ultrasounds on facebook INSENSITIVE? Lock Rss


my partner wants to put photos of baby to be up on facebook.
I am not happy about this and have convinced him to wait untill tests are all done before he can put them up BUT .. I still dont want him to put them up on facebook. I dont want my uterus plastered all over his facebook it makes me feel violated.

I dont want people commenting on them especially people i dont know and he is still friends with an ex - and other person who i have asked him to cease all contact with. bottom line i dont mine them as a screen saver on his computer but i feel this is my right being taken away to having privacy.

I have not posted ANYTHING about my pregnancy on facebooks - no photos of me or baby or status updates even to indicate that i am i keep my life private where possible AM I being reasonable saying NO to having pictures on facebook of our baby


I don't think it is unreasonable at all. I think the real issue here is the lack of regard for your opinion. If you don't want them posted in public then that should be respected.
They are after all, quite personal in my opinion. For example one of my ultrasound pictures has a measurement of the length of my vagina. The rest of it, although all internal is still pictures of your reproductive system.

You wouldn't post pictures of his reproductive system with a measuring tape next to it and say, well, it's in black and white and it's a bit hazy and we have conceived a baby out of these parts so it's all ok and it's my right to share!

Haha, or would you? wink

ok, just wanted to add a few points since so many misread this post!
I have not stated that u/s pictures are inappropriate.
I have not said that all my pics contained the length of my vagina, just one of them and that is a fact.
I have not stated that I look at u/s pictures and think look at the size of her uterus.
I have not said my u/s pictures embarrass me.
Last of all, the comparison between reproductive systems was a joke.
I've never once looked at an ultrasound pic and thought omg check out the size of her uterus! And i guarantee the vast majority of people are looking at the baby not equating the picture with your reproductive organs.

I was so happy to see my baby and wanted to share it with my friends and family. I was even happier that DP was so enthralled with the pics. He carried a copy in his wallet and would show it to anyone who cared! It's hard for most men as they don't experience firsthand what it's like to grow life. All they have is what we tell them, our mood swings, feeling kicks towards the end, and the ultrasound pics, so i embraced any effort he made to bond with our baby.

I understand that you're a private person but i think you need to compromise a little. Yes he should have definitely asked before posting pics and i can understand you wanting to wait until all tests are done but i think you'd be way more upset if he was totally disinterested in the baby.


Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds,
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.

I put my ultrasound pics on fb. It really is only the inside of your tummy, there is nothing inappropriate about that, I don't see it as a big issue. Everybody I had on fb was happy and supportive of my pregnancies and loved that fact that they could share in our excitement, if only in a small way. Anyway, ultrasound photos are nothing compared to the lack of privacy in the birthing suite - I suppose by that point though you don't really care who's down there! tongue

I don't think it is unreasonable at all. I think the real issue here is the lack of regard for your opinion. If you don't want them posted in public then that should be respected.
They are after all, quite personal in my opinion. For example one of my ultrasound pictures has a measurement of the length of my vagina. The rest of it, although all internal is still pictures of your reproductive system.

You wouldn't post pictures of his reproductive system with a measuring tape next to it and say, well, it's in black and white and it's a bit hazy and we have conceived a baby out of these parts so it's all ok and it's my right to share!

Haha, or would you? wink

Who looks at an u/s pic, and even thinks about vaginas and uteruses??? It is a black and white image of inside your uterus, which in the pic, looks like a big round space. It is not a photo of your vag, and as for seeing a measurement.... is there a length it should be, and something I should be worried about??? If this is seen as embaressing, good luck with the birth and breastfeeding. You will soon realise this is NOTHING!!!!!

Eve75

We both added my ultrasound pics on facebook because we were so damn excited! Perhaps you could meet him halfway and let him add your ultrasounds pics to fb if he changes his privacy settings for those pics so that only selected friends can see them, not his ex or other undesirables?!
Hi, I don't see it as insensitive at all. BUT, The girl you mentioned needs to be deleted off there. Just tell him that given the history, your not comfortable with her on there. Do they even talk? I'd be seeing red. If theres medical reasons not to tell people then yes, he needs to respect that until yous have been given the all clear. But apart from that, if your partner wants to put photos of his baby on facebook, that is HIS choice, and the first of many things you will do differently with your child.

My partner hates facebook, He doesn't want me to put photos of him up, so I don't. He doesn't want me to put photos of our son up, but I DO. I accept how he feels about facebook, and I always have my photos private, but I don't have to follow his wishes, as mine are just as important. I see this in reverse here.
You both need accept the differences and move on. If you don't like an untrasound pic being put up, just wait til the newboen photos, his 1st birthday when he trys to paste the whole 100 photos he took on there, lol.
Just accept this is how he is, and try to give some guidance, with how many pictures he puts on there, and crop names, numbers and details out of it. Delete the 'friend' off there too.

Who looks at an u/s pic, and even thinks about vaginas and uteruses??? It is a black and white image of inside your uterus, which in the pic, looks like a big round space. It is not a photo of your vag, and as for seeing a measurement.... is there a length it should be, and something I should be worried about??? If this is seen as embaressing, good luck with the birth and breastfeeding. You will soon realise this is NOTHING!!!!!


I have a right to an opinion. I simply said "I think" the pictures are personal. I wasn't slamming anyone elses opinion though.

But where exactly did I state that I was embarrassed? Oh that's right, I didn't.
I have already given birth and breastfed twice before, thanks for the concern. I had around ten people in the room with the second, since she was so early... such as heart specialist etc. I got to breastfeed to a machine in Nicu for around two months with no privacy whatsoever. I'm quite well aware of the whole process of having a baby. Thanks for wishing me luck though! tongue

I simply stated that "one" of my pictures had that measurement, I never said all of them. It was a statement of fact, I'm not upset by it. There must have been a reason why it needed to be measured. I'm really not sure if there is a length it should be. Either way I wouldn't advertise it on fb.

I also never stated what I was thinking when looking at an ultrasound picture. No need to jump to hysterical conclusions love!
For the record, what I think is, awwr a little baby, how wonderful.

The point I was making if you'd have bothered to read my post clearly before getting high on your own self importance was stated within the first three lines.
That he is not respecting her opinion. Her opinion, as she stated was that she feels violated. She said she thought they could make the decision together, not just that he could make it on his own. She said she doesn't want pictures of her uterus plastered over fb with people she doesn't like on there.
She has posted before about him not respecting her right to have a say in other issues.

I don't see where it is unreasonable that her opinion should be respected. Which is once again, my opinion that I am entitled to.

Making the reference about pictures of reproductive systems and seeing how he would feel about his own being publically posted was simply a little injection of humour.
Humour is when we don't take life so damn seriously and get upset at the drop of a hat. You should try it sometime!
Hi Pixel,

Just wanted to add my two cents here as I feel exactly the same way you do. I am on fb but I treat it as a very public forum (which it is, regardless of privacy settings, you can control your own settings but as soon as someone else links to your pic/comment then you're at the mercy of their privacy settings)

Anyway my point (I do have one!) is that while I totally agree with other ladies that it's super that your man is so excited there are other ways this news can be shared in ways that don't make you feel uncomfortable. Okay yes you could try and compromise but if in the end you still feel a bit violated then that's not a very good outcome. We are all different and loads of my friends have u/s pics on fa - fine for them but I personally find it way too public and would not do it myself.

Just my opinion and we might be in the minority but just wanted you to know you're not alone. And wouldn't the world be boring if we all felt the same way all the time smile
have you stopped to think about what his opinion would be if he knew you were having a discussion on here about him and his insensitive attitude to puting a pic of the ultrasound on fb and who he has in his friends list? I think what your doing is no better than him not respecting your view on pics on fb you dont know all of us yet have said there are possible problems with baby?. Yes this is a place to ask others how they see things but your talking about 2 things and i feel it's a discussion to have with your dp 1st , ok if he refuses to listen or see your view then sure post it as a vent but dont dog him for caring about your baby or who he is friends with . I myself wouldn't see a problem with my dh putting a ultrasound pic on fb ( if he used fb) I think that shows how excited and proud he is to be a soon-to-be-daddy. nor do i have a problem with who talks to or is friends with ect. He had a past like me before we were together and yes had other girlfriends that he slept with so did i. I dont feel insecure with him talking to other females or if he runs into a ex while out and about as i walk away and so does he with the attitude im glad i picked you. He is proud that his girls are to me and not his exes. makes me laugh as 1 ex had her child around the same time as our 1st dd and they ended up in the same preschool so had to see her everyday. didnt bother me as she had moved on and so had he. I know he loves me and our children and even before our children knew he did. I think you need to deal with your insecurity to him still having a so called girl that stayed at his place but never had sex with be on his friends list. people have heaps of people on their friends list on fb but dont talk to all the time it's just that they know so and so.I only have friends on my fb that's something to think about. I would be talking with dp first before getting all worked up about something that isnt really a big deal compared to the bigger picture of what could be in your relationship or with how you 2 will handle decision about your child. eg will you come back and post about your decision about if there are problems with your baby and what you decide against what dp decides or is that what you will keep to yourself? somethng to thin about aye?
just so people know we did discuss it i wasnt trying to stem his enthusiasm it was more its so early that we dont know enough yet and not everyone has their friends list as just people that they know well and family.

I am a little mortified by the harshness - i think im entitled to see what other people did. the feeling i had were my own and was reaching out to see what others did you chose to do what you wanted which is fine i respect that but theres no need to belittle me for not wanting to wave the another girl whos pregnant at the moment flag - i value my privacy you are entitled to an opinion but you really didnt need to go to those lenghts to make me into some kind of ogre its not what its about

I am young a first time mum and was just wanting some feedback.

thank you for your input if you could kindly refrain from taking my issue so personally that would be great.

best wishes mande
-----------------------------------

As for the others who felt the same as i did its nice to know that i wasnt beeing too unreasonable for wanting to wait its still early and theres no gaurantee that i still wont miscarry between now and then and that theres nothing wrong with the baby

I have spoken to my partner again after seeing both sides and have reached an agreement that we can put something up once we have medical confirmation the baby is fine and no health issues
also on a side note :
for you to value my judgement on coming on here its a forum definition is that you are free to discuss. if you dont wish to contribute you dont have to but i have freedom of speech and everyones entitled to a second opinion Mande i am sure you have had one weather it be you going to another doctor or asking 2 friends for their opinion its the same thing.

I figure its best to ask people who have been in the same position as i have been in and none of my friends have had children yet so i didn't feel that their answer was one that would stick if they were in my situation.

you are entitled to you opinion

I am entitled to see what others have done in my position

just thought i would make a point on that also Mande .

I would be more worried if he took photos of the birth and wanted to post them blink

I think you have a right to keep things private, but as other posts have said noone looks at an ultrasound photo and thinks of internal organs, they look at the baby and try and figure out which part of the image is the head laugh

I would be more inclined to make a big deal of him taking the other person who you dont like off his friends list, and maybe you can suggest he emails a photo to his close friends rather?


Lol yeah he wants to video that too - i said thats ok as long as its for us
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