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  5. second bub on way and hubby off on a buck's weekend

second bub on way and hubby off on a buck's weekend Lock Rss

Hi girls

just wanted a vent really. My husband is usually pretty supportive but sometimes can be really self centred. he has been away in another state for a boys weekend (he is 34 years old) since yesterday and wont get home til late sunday. I was mad he was going and to make matters worse, he didnt even bother to text or call me for 24 hours. I dont feel like talking to him at all at the moment. I know i am extra emotional, but is it unreasonable for me to expect he behave in a more mature manner? I am at home with our 3 year old ds and i am tired...

38 weeks and 2 days

its hard without knowing the back story.. but personally id try not too be too upset, hes entitled to do something totally for himself, dads need time for themselves too. when he gets back maybe have a talk about a better way to organise time away for both of you, communication is important. He got some time for himself so maybe its mums turn? a preg spa treatment or a night with the girls at the theatre etc etc.
its important to understand that you BOTH need activities outside your little family too. xxx but in saying that id prob be a little upset too if he hadnt called or anything smile
I would be upset he didn't call but not upset he was enjoyong himself apart from the family.

Its a happy indivual thats makes the happy family. As for maturity, since when is going on a short 2-3day trip with the boys, to help celebrate a mates pending marriage inmature. A while ago, my fella wanted to do a week bike trip with some mates and I so didn't want him to go. But that was my selfishness talking.

Like the PP. treat youself to some luxury for only yourself to enjoy

smile He'll be home soon.
I would be furious if my partner did that! I also wouldn't even allow him to go especially if I was pregnant and couldn't go out and have some fun of my own.
Hi. I'd be upset by the lack of a phone call or text, but as for going away for a bucks night it wouldn't phase me. As PP have said, even dads need a break now and then, and some time for themselves. Since we have had our 2 DD my DH has put a lot of his own interests like fishing to the side and concentrated on family time and making sure I have time for me away from the kids. We have just had our 3rd baby one week ago, and while pregnant I did a LOT of girls dinners and a few nights away with the girls and he was always supportive of this. I think it's important in a relationship to maintain our own interests, and have time to ourselves. So, I have just booked him in to have a weekend away fishing with the boys in 6 weeks time, and this is while I'll be home with a 3 year old, a 20 month old and a newborn! But to me, it's all worth it to see hime having some him time and doing something he enjoys.
So make sure when he gets home that you get some YOU time, and plenty of it! Take care, and good luck wth bub number 2.
it is a tricky one..

I get a little anxious when DH goes to bucks shows.. even for a night. but i have expressed my concerns to him and when he goes out, he does msg me as to how the night is going..

I dont think your DH is being immature but I think he is keen to go away and maybe he hasnt msgd you because he is having such a good time.. He might feel that if he msgs or calls you he will here the worry in your voice which will bring his weekend down.

I also understand that your pregnancy hormones are probably rife atm and yes, you too deserve some time out if you havent had any recently!!

I would be furious if my partner did that! I also wouldn't even allow him to go especially if I was pregnant and couldn't go out and have some fun of my own.


I disagree with this. So you are saying that you partner is not allowed to go out at all for as long as you are pregnant..... just cos you can't go out?

And you can go out and have fun, even though you are pregnant. Just cos you are pregnant, doesn't mean you can't have fun? Unless you are referring to alcohol, and frankly if you need alcohol to have fun, then you have a problem.

Sorry, I just think its wrong to expect your partner to sit around at home just cos you are pregnant. And its not as though the OP's partner is just out randomly down the pub cos he feels like it.... its a bucks weekend that hes been invited to.

If you weren't pregnant and were invited to a hens weekend, would you allow yourself to go? Sorry, but I just don't get it.

To the OP, I would be a little annoyed at the lack of phone call or text, especially if he said he was going to, but thats bucks parties for you. I wouldn't have a problem with it otherwise, your partner should be allowed to go out and have a good time. But thats just my opinion. smile

Try not to make a big deal of it. If it is just a once in a blue moon thing then let it blow over. If he often goes out with his mates and leaves you alone, then it would be time to have a chat. My DH is 39 and still hasn't grown up - do they ever?
firstly it definately does suck when you are feeling emotional and going through the changes of pregnancy and your partner goes away....especially to another state for a bucks show.

Sometimes we have to put our emotions aside though and understand that they need time to go out and enjoy themselves while we are pregnant.

I personally would only have a problem with my DH going away if i was close to being due....for obvious reasons!!

Chin up, run yourself a nice hot bath tonight, grab some munchies and a chick flick and relax smile
thanks for answers, it is good to get some different perspectives. I guess I don't really like some of the fellas going, they tend to get up to no good and hubs doesnt really see them all that often except for this type of thing. He is a kind man but with them he isnt himself, overdoes it and so on. I guess I just felt a bit out of the loop; he booked it without consulting me, its costing quite a lot of $$ and he has been saying we need to tighten our belts but this is ok. I never begrudge him having bloke time, he goes out quite often with friends and we have regular date nights. THis one is just bothering me... I guess we are all entitled to ME time but not at the expense of our partner's feelings maybe. Dunno. I am enjoying the peace and quiet, will put a chick flick on for sure. Feel conflicted; want him to have a life but hate this KIND of thing (gentlemen's clubs etc).

38 weeks and 2 days




And you can go out and have fun, even though you are pregnant. Just cos you are pregnant, doesn't mean you can't have fun? Unless you are referring to alcohol, and frankly if you need alcohol to have fun, then you have a problem.


If you weren't pregnant and were invited to a hens weekend, would you allow yourself to go? Sorry, but I just don't get it.



Firstly its quite hard to go out and have fun when your pregnant and have your head over the toilet allday and night throwing up due to bad morning sickness!

And no I wouldn't go to a hens weekend away as my partner wouldn't allow it.

Firstly its quite hard to go out and have fun when your pregnant and have your head over the toilet allday and night throwing up due to bad morning sickness!

And no I wouldn't go to a hens weekend away as my partner wouldn't allow it.


Not everyone has morning sickness.

And your partner wouldn't allow you to go to a hens show? Sounds like there are some underlying issues there... but none of my business.

I do feel for you if you aren't allowed time out. Everyone needs time out. smile

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