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He want an abortion now :( Lock Rss

I havnt used a forum before but have no where else to turn. No friends nor family know i am pregnant.

My (now ex) partner just left me after i confronted him about a string of lies he chose to leave in denial than stand up and say sorry.

I did not want to get pregnant for a while but he insisted if i didnt do it right now then he may as well leave as he wants another child (he has 1 to his previous wife) but refused to wait any longer incase he was too old! mid 30s is not old in my opinion.

SO i agreed to get pregnant and now i am. But now that he has left he wants me to have an abortion however i dont want too... But what will i do on my own!!?

If he has left me i dont want anyting to do with him, i dont want to be tied to him at all and want him to leave me and my baby completely...

I dont agree with abortions if nothing medically is wrong with the baby so im pulled between what to do...

I wish i had a friend right now sad

I havnt used a forum before but have no where else to turn. No friends nor family know i am pregnant.

My (now ex) partner just left me after i confronted him about a string of lies he chose to leave in denial than stand up and say sorry.

I did not want to get pregnant for a while but he insisted if i didnt do it right now then he may as well leave as he wants another child (he has 1 to his previous wife) but refused to wait any longer incase he was too old! mid 30s is not old in my opinion.

SO i agreed to get pregnant and now i am. But now that he has left he wants me to have an abortion however i dont want too... But what will i do on my own!!?

If he has left me i dont want anyting to do with him, i dont want to be tied to him at all and want him to leave me and my baby completely...

I dont agree with abortions if nothing medically is wrong with the baby so im pulled between what to do...

I wish i had a friend right now sad



Do what u want to do and is best for u!! dont listen to anyone else! I coodnt ever have a abortion and woodnt let anyone push me in that direction!

Only u know what is best for u and ur situation.... maybe even see a Councillor/therapist for someone to talk to.




wow, what a situation to be in. Ive got 1 child and had a abortion a couple of years ago, currently pregnant with no 2. Same dad for all. But abortion was more his choice. It is the hardest thing in the world but yes with a child the dad will always be in your life. I guess you need to take it back to basics. What do you want? Think of all the times in the past you thought you would never cope...but guess what you did smile Is he a good dad to the other child? If he really doesn't want to have another then maybe just go it alone. There is so much help out there now...you are never alone. Good luck honey and remember at the end of the day its your choice xxx
I truely feel for you, No-one can know what they would do until they themselves are in a situation, no matter in the believe in abortion of not.

You need to think what is best for you. Do YOU want this baby? Would YOUR family help? Where are you emotionally and finanially. Having the baby would be hard work, thay all are, but they bring such joy as well.

If you decide to have the baby I would document that your ex wanted a divorce, and do not name him on birth cerificate incase he changes his mind again.

Good luck, we are all here as a friend if you need it.
Sorry to hear ur in a difficult situation. The 1st and best thing i would do is cut your ex out of your life!! smile delete him from ur phone, facebook, email, where ever so no temptations to contact him. Also ignore any attempts he makes to contact you, ignore the phone calls, messages etc. They are likely to only stress u, esp if they are just pressuring you into an abortion (you said it urself that you dont agree with abortion and sounds like you may want to keep the baby) - so thats all that you or anyone else needs to know smile ). Someone who pressures you first into getting pregnant, and then pressuring you to have an abortion.... Hun this is NOT someone you want in your life, or in your baby's life.
Now that we got him out the way.... its time to focus on you and the little one coming. Plenty of mums do it alone, solo mum that is. Its not gonna be easy, but then life has its ups and downs, and some how we just find the inner strength to deal with the downs and move on and there will be lots of good times to look forward to with your child.
Plus, you may be alone now, but there are plenty of guys out there and even ones who take on children who are not their own if you consider that sometime in the future.
Now is a time to make your baby the focus. Eat healthy, exercise and try to think positive thoughts of what can come. Also try to seek out support groups for new mums or pregnant mums in your area... they can be a great source of support and great way to make new friendships.
Hi, I agree with the PP. Someone who pressures you into getting PG in the first place and then getting an abortion is not someone that you want in your life. It seems to me that this guy is incredibly self-centred. Has he once considered what you want here? He also seems like someone who doesn't think things through very well. You don't run out on someone you deliberately got PG then expect her to cater to your whim (by aborting).

This is YOUR decision. It may not feel like it, and things may seem hopeless, but you have the power here. Also, you don't have to terminate a PG straight away, so you have time to think about it maybe.

Sounds to me like you also need to confide in someone about the PG. If you're close to your family, I recommend that you do this, so that they can help support you. Or a close friend.

Good luck, try not to stress yourself out... this is a very important time for baby's development.


RIP Muffin. 25/06/95 - > 09/05/14

honesly women have been raising children alone for years and years. Your doing the right thing, just plod along doing your own thing and when your holding your baby you will know your doing the right thing.

my baby born out of wedlock and with my parents help is turnig 10 on Christmas eve, would never be without him. your stronger than you think.

also he may be having a knee jerk moment if your already arguing about something else it may be a knee jerk request as he wants to hurt you. You would never live with yourself for doing something like that if you don't believe in abortion, I don't believe either, so do and some don't stick to your beliefs not other peoples and before you know it you will have a lovely wee babe in your arms.
Dont ever let someone tell you what to do in this situation. I split with my ex and found out i was pregnant 2 weeks later, he really pushed me into going for an abortion and i did on jan 27th. I will never forget it because i didnt want it, he told me how im not ready for a baby give my baby away, your stupid for wanting this baby etc.

I must be pretty weak minded because i got back with him and fell pregnant again 3 months later.

Im 35 weeks now and he has not even bought one thing for her, never went to a scan and never comes to a MW apt. He has driven me and just sits in the car, whatever his loss. We are good friends at times, hes a good friend to me but considers our unborn a blood sucking leach and if i talk about her he goes quite and ignores me or he just gets up and leaves.

I do get upset about it, but having this baby is my choice and i love that shes going to be all mine, i know there is going to be tough times ahead but im not the first person to go it alone and i wont be the last.
I agree with PP.
Do what you think is best for YOU.
If you can provide this baby with all the love and necessities it needs you should be fine!
I have several friends who are single parents, one who has 3 young children she is raising alone. She has moments where she thinks she can't do it but doesn't every mother? -I know I do.

This is your decision, don't be forced into something if you know you'll regret it.

I fell pregnant when I was just 19.. I'll never forget the excitement I felt at the idea of being a mum.
Unfortunately my boyfriend at the time didn't want to be a father, didn't want this baby and threatened to leave me if I didn't have an abortion.
I had only recently lost my father who I was close to and didn't want to lose my boyfriend too so I went through with an abortion...
My boyfriend left me several days after the abortion saying the relationship wasn't working out..
I have never forgiven myself for it.

I suggest in confiding with someone close to you. A close friend or maybe family?

Good luck & try not to stress.
Big hugs.
sounds like this guy had an agenda and it went tits up,
you can go and consult a lawyer at a comunity law centre about your rights to stop him from having access to you and the child.

This may sound like a silly idea but moving is probably the best option.
Physically moving can help the healing i had a nasty ex and it def helped.
Have a look at your long term goals and see whats still possible with a baby.

These days there is alot of help out there as its more socially acceptable to be a single parent ( my dad was and i turned out ok if i may be so bold )

I had the same choice to make with my son - hes just been born he was worth every backache, morning sickness and pre eclampsia that i got and i love him to bits. I will say i had the love and support of my partner and we made the choice together but i can honestly say that yes its not easy but when i see my son asleep in his cot i smile and remember the choice i made.

This is YOUR CHOICE, You can get a non - contact order for harassment as it is considered bullying if he continues to pressure you into something you dont want to do keep all texts and messages and then remove him from fb, ect and if you are on vodaphone you can blacklist his cell number so you dont get texts from him
WOW that was far more support then I expected what an amazing bunch you are on here helping out strangers with such kind words and support! Thanks so much I really appreciate it. I am very confused and don't know what to do but one thing I definitely will take from your replies is to tell a friend so I don't need to sit alone I need to talk out loud sad
you are all right I need to make decisions now based on what suits me and is the right thing to do for me and my baby, not him, time to get selfish myself I think. Thanks xx best wishes to all

I havnt used a forum before but have no where else to turn. No friends nor family know i am pregnant.

My (now ex) partner just left me after i confronted him about a string of lies he chose to leave in denial than stand up and say sorry.

I did not want to get pregnant for a while but he insisted if i didnt do it right now then he may as well leave as he wants another child (he has 1 to his previous wife) but refused to wait any longer incase he was too old! mid 30s is not old in my opinion.

SO i agreed to get pregnant and now i am. But now that he has left he wants me to have an abortion however i dont want too... But what will i do on my own!!?

If he has left me i dont want anyting to do with him, i dont want to be tied to him at all and want him to leave me and my baby completely...

I dont agree with abortions if nothing medically is wrong with the baby so im pulled between what to do...

I wish i had a friend right now sad


He wanted you to bear his child and now he wants you to abort it? Good thing he's not in the picture now. Can you imagine what kind of father he would be? Everything would be on his terms.

You are the only person you have to answer to for the decisions you make. You don't answer to him and he doesn't answer to you.

Since you're on your own and clearly you're thinking about how you would raise a child and also the option of whether you discontinue the pregnancy, might I recommend talking to you doctor and telling him you need some guidance? The doctor may be able to point you in the right direction. Whichever decision you go with, it's not an easy one.
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