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  5. Due in 3 weeks and wanting to leave DH

Due in 3 weeks and wanting to leave DH Lock Rss

Hi,
I don't know what else to do. My DH and i have been together for 9 years and married for 4.....he use to treat me like a princess, i remember thinking at one point how on earth did i get this lucky?! but that changed over the last couple of years and its just getting worst. He hardly talks to me, doesn't ever make conversation, ask how my day is. Never acknowledges by birthday, valentines day....any special days. I can't even remember the last time we kissed or cuddled me out of the blue. Im always the one initiating affection or making an effort 24/7 to make him happy.
im exhausted.....i love him so, so much but from him all i get is this cold feeling. I have been denying it and ignoring it for years but cannot do it any longer.
I'm pregnant with baby number 2 and his not at all excited over it. For example: we moved house and he still made me do alot of lifting like as if i wasn't pregnant and when he comes home with the groceries he leaves it at the door for me to take it in the kitchen (most of the time they are heavy items like coke bottles etc...)
Tonight was when i truly realised thats it....i had a gallstone attack that was so painful i was in tears. Not once did he ask me if i was ok....instead just sat there and watched TV while i was on the couch rolling around in agony. Is that love to you?
i know that i need to leave but am scared and have no where to go. I also have a 3 YO how loves him dearly and i know would be devastated. I don't know how to take that first step.....Im heavily pregnant and have a toddler i need to care for. So scared to do it on my own.....
Hi Mommie,

Sounds like you've been doing it hard. I'm so sorry for your predictament.
May I suggest as you're so close to due date anyway, that you live life as you've been doing. But stop giving the affection and doing things for him... become more like flatmates etc, see if he notices...???
Wait till babe has arrived and your hormones have settled... then bring your feelings up with your DH. That way he/you can't blame it on pregnancy hormones etc.... and its actually you thats telling him you're not happy...

May I suggest trying everything - re.counselling esp. as there's a 3 yr old involved and another bubba to be....

Good Luck.
Lottie

Hi Mommie,

Sounds like you've been doing it hard. I'm so sorry for your predictament.
May I suggest as you're so close to due date anyway, that you live life as you've been doing. But stop giving the affection and doing things for him... become more like flatmates etc, see if he notices...???
Wait till babe has arrived and your hormones have settled... then bring your feelings up with your DH. That way he/you can't blame it on pregnancy hormones etc.... and its actually you thats telling him you're not happy...

May I suggest trying everything - re.counselling esp. as there's a 3 yr old involved and another bubba to be....

Good Luck.
Lottie



I agree with lottie . If it doesn't change make sure your putting money away in advance for Bond etc




I'm praying it works out for you & your family .



Good luck with birth of your baby.
Hi Ladies, Thanks for your advice and support..... i ended up writing him a letter (a bit cleche) but i needed to get everything out and i knew if i was to talk to him i might miss things from all the crying. He found the letter the next day and to my surprise he called in work sick (he never calls in sick ever!!!!). Which to me meant that he really wants to work things out and that i do mean something to him.
We are on the road to trying to work it out and as i said in my PP, i love him so, so much so cannot just let it go. I hope things get better for us. Again, thanks ladies for listening! =) xx
writting a letter is a great way to say how you feel and give you time to check its what you want to say and how you want to say it.

Its possible that he could be feeling stressed and as a result isnt thinking about helping you hes absorbed in himself. My partner isnt hugely cuddly but its just how it is. Sometimes guys are oblivious to how you feel you literally have to say it blunt to their face with an example to make your point.

Maybe hes quietly worried that something will go awry with this baby as i see you had one that passed away. Once baby was born DS was stoked
That is good to hear you are both trying to work things out.

Do you think he is depressed? My husband started acting the same although we have also had problems with his family which hasn't helped, but he got to the point where he was low all the time, not even the kids could make him smile which you know there is something very wrong when your own kids can't bring a smile to your face.
I took him to the dr's & he was diagnosed severley depressed & is now on anti depressants & he is 100 times better now.
You know what men are like, they will never admit if they think they need help.
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